To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

7 The next-poshest thing you can do is have a freezing bathroom
I have two very cold bathrooms so I must be very grand. BUT I also have two others that are ok temperature wise so I must actually be middle class then.

I spent the whole night coveting his bookshelves.

A-level results? Did you then move on to which British Gas tariff you're on?

The correct answer is "I did an NVQ in Beauty Therapy actually".

SilentIsla - it’s acrually a 300 year old building and it’s a lovely place to live.

SilentIsla Naice naice naice naice naice

“I only have two O-levels” is one of my favourite phrases ;)

(I was educated overseas in another system and did two O-levels for fun with no preparation. I have plenty of qualifications)

Polarbearflavour

SilentIsla - it’s acrually a 300 year old building and it’s a lovely place to live. hmm

The idea of it being enclosed in 21st century style, is even more bizarre in that case. Is it a former prison or workhouse?

Our house was built in 1669 and does not require the addition of walls and bars.

Your next post is odd.

ImpendingDisaster

Yes, Prince Philip is a common German mutt and so forth.

😂

@timewoundsallheals yes, they were trying to find out which school I went to but I was being purposefully bland in my answers so they kept digging! Was very entertaining! It was a while ago now so I can’t remember the exact questions but it was something like:

“What school did you go to?”

• “one in London” “Oh, I know London schools, which one?”

• “I’m not sure you’d know it, it was all-girls”

“Try me - where in London?”

• “in the suburbs”

“Were the results good? How did you do in your A levels?”

• “good thanks “

“Did everyone do well?”

• “I can’t really remember”

“I was at [insert posh school name”

• “that’s nice, anyway I’m just going to pop to the bathroom so I’ll see you later!”

DH and I are solidly working class, first to uni, made a lot of money, nouveau but like culture etc. We work from in our nice house, drive cool cars and are pretty scruffy aging biker types. People struggle to place us, (have actually wondered if DH was some sort of gangster). Plus we lived in a rough area when we were still poor while our kids were young so they are actually quite "street".

When we moved to our current naive village it was the really posh old money Dads (including the local vicar) who cornered our kids on play dates and asked what Daddy did.

Suited and booted and doing business, DH has been asked what school he went to more than once.

And my DD2 goes to uni in Ireland (TCD) though we are British. She has found the Eton boys to be the ones who ask where she went to school, and then form a clique with the other English public school kids. The rest of the students, who mix pretty freely, refer to them as team GB.

have actually wondered if DH was some sort of gangster
We moved into a new (posh) neighbourhood with nosy neighbours and kept to ourselves, however I went through a period where I bought cars for salesmen at work to use so each week for two months I had a different car. Was asked why and said I was a car thief and selling the cars for parts. The look on the face was absolutely priceless!

As soon as I open my mouth people know I'm working class 😂

I attend lots of black tie events, red carpet events, champagne receptions, meetings with A-listers through to z-listers and Ive never had any of those questions. Never! Why would anyone be interested in my social class, where I holiday or went to school?

Blimey!

I'd be tempted to don a flat cap and take me whippet with me if people were treating me like that.

In my experience it's just people from public school background who do this. Not all of them of course but I've never had anyone else ask me similar questions. Except some Asian cultures seem to be the norm to ask very direct questions about how big is your house and how much money you earn. Again, that's just based on personal experience.

More fun was when I went to the Buck House Garden Party and took DH as my plus one.
Old duffers trying to work out whether they should recognise him
cos they were too sexist to realise that I had earned the tickets

The poshest people were the most interested in joining us taking notes of the plants in the herbaceous borders

The snooty ones were watching Kate eat

Op you are worst than the people you talking about!! You're just showing off about yourself. Ooh it’s all just so Oxbridge, ohh I’m just so upper middle cllass; just call me Mrs middle of middle-land Middlesworth. Yes I’ve had to network with people and put up with rude idiots making it obvious they are ‘sussing’ me out but I just don’t bother with them unless I have to suck up to them for work, unfortunately and even then I couldn’t care less. It’s all pretentious and pathetic. All your posts just confirm that you fit in to that pompous environment quite nicely to me!!

I agree with the OP, there’s definitely a type of person who does this. In my experience they’re the kind of person who describes themselves as a ‘Cambridge graduate’ or an ‘Oxford graduate’ despite having left uni 25 years ago!

Well dahlings it's not very good breeding to ask such questions - the really posh never would, they suss you out much more subtlety. I used to cross paths with quite a few Aristos and they know without asking that you're not one of them.

I go to quite a lot of work does, dinners and receptions in and around Westminster and the City. Not black tie dos - I'd hate them - smart work clothes type things. I've never come across the kind of chat you mention - I think it would just signal to me I was keeping the wrong company!

I would small talk about family stuff like kids doing GCSEs and A levels, work stuff, gossip and politics and maybe a bit about work trips or holidays but in my line of work boasty stuff and conspicuous consumption would not impress anyone.

How odd.

I never get asked questions like that at work events.

I know what you mean op

My strategy would be to ask them the same questions back and not give them any answers :

“Oh, no one ever asked me about my parents base. It must be a topic to you. Where are yours based then ? You start”

SilentIsla - nope neither of those but it’s very naice. Maybe you can pop round for tea? Note I didn’t say afternoon tea as that’s non-U.

I love it when someone asks me where I went to school. I give the impression of being a umc girl who went to "naice" public school somewhere, maybe James Allen, Alleyns, St Paul's - I actually went to a big rough inner London comp.

I know three Rt. Hons. One is wealthy, one is a builder and one is a carpenter. All have impeccable manners and lots of books.