To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

'Social class is important, of course it is'

why?

Because it influences life chances to an unacceptable degree.
And because the gap between rich and poor is widening daily and social mobility becomeing ever more difficult.
The way things are- class is likely to become more important rather than less.

I would not brag about living in a “gated community” aka a new build estate. No wonder people would look at you askance...

Why oh why do people use “naice” on this site? It is cringeworthy.

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Some of those who matter mind. Most of those who matter mind, actually. They are simply less gauche.

Which word is posh and which word is not?

Alcohol - Booze
Antique/Old - Vintage
Avocado - Avo
Basement - Lower ground
Champagne/Prosecco - Bubbly/fizz
Cooked breakfast - Full English
Film - Movie
(I'm) finished - (I'm) done
Hello - Hey
Invitation - Invite
Lavatory - Toilet
May I have - Can I get
Napkin - Serviette
Pudding - Sweet/Dessert/Afters
Pyjamas - PJs
Repartee - Banter
Restaurant - Eatery
Sitting/Drawing Room - Lounge
Sofa - Settee/Couch
Takeaway - Deliveroo
Taxi - Uber
Telephone/phone - iPhone/Blackberry
Term - Semester
Toasted sandwich - Toastie
(Do you) understand (me)? - (Do you) get (me)?
University - Uni
What? - Pardon?
Wine - Vino

This is qi...

1 There is no one kind of poshness. There are actually seven distinct types: poshness of birth; poshness of wealth; of accent; of education; also, the poshness of excellent taste, as well as the poshness of eccentric and exuberant vulgarity; and, finally, the poshness of assumed superiority. Some of these are inextricably linked, and some quite naturally overlap, but almost no one is possessed of all seven.

2 As a term of description or abuse, “posh” has an incredibly elastic definition. At one end of the scale you can accuse someone of being posh for owning a dishwasher. At the other extreme you will hear people saying, “The thing is, the Queen isn’t actually posh at all.”

3 Posh people aren’t usually snobs. They just don’t have very much to resent.

4 The most virulent form of snobbery operates entirely within the middle classes. This makes sense, because none of them is properly posh, and yet virtually all of them have dishwashers. If you are truly middle class, all you can see around you are other middle-class people doing it wrong. When you satirise the middle class in literature or on screen, they are both your target and your audience.

5 A brief or occasional visitor to the upper reaches of Britain’s class system could be forgiven for assuming that all posh people know each other. In fact he could be wholly acquitted. They sort of all do.

6 Far and away the poshest thing you can do is wilfully mispronounce your surname, as if the basic rules of vowels, consonants and syllables simply didn’t apply to you, and then oblige strangers to follow your lead.

7 The next-poshest thing you can do is have a freezing bathroom.

Silentisla, when I say "matter" I mean matter to you personally on an emotional level. People whose opinion you value, people you care about.
I know an interview panel matter , your boss matters but in your real personal life you shouldn't let someone else's opinion of you matter one jot.
I don't know if I'm explaining it very well .

I agree zzzz. Very entertaining.

I cannot claim authorship of the material above, sadly. Just came across it online!

I filled in that survey (honestly!) and came out as elite - which obviously I'm not. I reckon
I had too many cultural activities listed.

I just did the quiz and came out traditional working class - I'm sure I'm not! I think I did it last time it was linked on MN and got a different answer! Well, just shows there is social mobility

Weird, I've never encountered this.

Someone has actually asked you where your parents are based, apropos of nothing? Doesn't this imply some sort of non-dom globe-trotting arrangement?

It is terribly rude to ask where someone went they to school (with some exceptions, e.g. you work out you're from the same town perhaps) - I'm not from the UK but I can work out that this is a loaded question.

There was a book that accompanied the quiz called "Class in the 21st Century". It was by Mike Savage.
I'd recommend people read it. It helps make sense of the methodology of the quiz and is a really enjoyable read in itself.

At the other extreme you will hear people saying, “The thing is, the Queen isn’t actually posh at all.”

I feel as though I've read this on MN before.

I've definitely heard people say the royal family are naff on here before.

Yes, Prince Philip is a common German mutt and so forth.

He seems terrifically posh to me, but I'm American - what do I know?

OP I can always tell when this is happening to me and, unless it’s someone who I need to like me (a senior client for example), I always play a game where I try to give as bland answers as possible that wouldn’t give them any real info - it’s so funny watching them see how far they dare push the questions without giving their game away! I had one person push all the way to “what were your A level results?” ! To which I just replied “they were good, thanks”

I live in a small house, don't drive, like bargains. I volunteered in a charity shop and often bought things other volunteers would have thrown out.
One day I mentioned that I needed to buy dishwasher tablets and someone said in surprise 'Have YOU got a dishwasher?!' So having a dishwasher is 'a thing' even though I dry my washing outside of over radiators, odd.

ConkerGame someone actually asked you your a level results?
Man I almost wish I moved in the kind of circles where people were so nosey.

A-level results? Did you then move on to which British Gas tariff you're on?

I had no idea that this could be considered a class indicator.

Aw Hitchhikers. I had dinner in DA’s house once. With his nanny. Who was a Norlander, natch.