To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

That’s the point isn’t it? Real class doesn’t care, only those who are trying to elevate themselves feel the need to compare or indeed put others down

I’m reminded of the new arrival who corrected the coalman who addressed him as “Mr Smith.” “It’s Captain Smith, if you please!”

A similar thing happened to me, I asked the 'Captain' what ships he'd been commanded, he was annoyed because he was an Army Captain. He was even more annoyed when I asked which Cavalry Regiment he'd been in! Captains can't use their rank unless they were in a Cavalry Regiment and he hadn't been in one, he knew he was sussed.

This is the worst aspect of British people. Their class system. Pride and prejudice. It’s all bullshit. We all die in the end.

No one tries to suss me. They can tell by my sports direct clothes

zzzzz it’s not being nosy, it’s judging

Sometimes I guess it’s judging, other times it’s just conversation.

Actually that’s very true Hide
It’s very easy to have a conversation with someone and be chatting away about your everyday stuff and they think you’re bragging

Really posh people wouldnt ask because they don't care and they already know you aren't as posh as them because they all know each other anyway from school.

It's just small talk I suppose - you don't have to answer- i don't , I get in first with questions and avoid anything that might offend. Stick to impersonal and cheerful chat., If I really wanted to know I could always look on social media anyway:)

Reminds me of DD who trying to organise a fleet of taxis asked everyone where they lived so she could divide the taxis up sensibly.

One woman was being evasive.

Where do you live?

Home Counties

If I'm wearing tweed and check (I'm dressing like my dad as 60 appeoaches) people assume I'm upper middle, because of the accent. If I'm wearing filthy hi-viz, they assume I'm working class. I don't mind either. I find the best indicator of class is whether you think Iceland is a place or a shop. I like both.

@Disgrace re: Iceland - love it!

I think the constant 'What Do You Do' question is rooted in working class snobbery, in the main.

Wing Commander isn’t posh. For a start, it’s blue job. Not senior service. My mum was a cleaner and dad was a travelling salesman - I was a wing commander. Trust me. Not posh.
I did get to quaff ale with the second or third generation of certain families that sign up to daddy’s regiment as a coming of age though, plus a slack handful of Hons and a Russian princess. I actually found the wives brilliantly diverse - everything from a literal princess to a cage dancer.
God bless the class system. Amuses me no end.

I love a class thread.

zzzzz you had a go at us when we drew conclusions about that family that's just delivered baby number 21. Are we judgemental or intelligent then?

How is that stalkerish. I have a really good memory for names on posts yet can't remember if I took paracetamol five minutes earlier. Please dear god don't think you're important enough to be stalked by me 😂

Nobody ever, but ever asks me what I do for a living. Which is a shame, as I love talking about my job

However I do cross swords with the most horrendous snob recently who went flat out with “And where did you go to university?”. I don’t think Birmingham poly was what she wanted to hear.

I can’t say this has ever been an issue. In my youth, I went to quite a few Pony Club/hunt balls. As an adult I have been to a few military functions. I can’t say that anybody in the wardroom has been particularly bothered sussing out my social status or really interacting with me!

DP is solidly middle class, speaks nicely but is insistent that he went a bog standard comp. What he actually means is he went to one of the top ten state schools in the country that is really very naice but for some reason he tries to dumb it down.

It also works the other way. When people ask where I live I give the area of the city. When they want to be more specific I tell them the estate name and they make a little face like “oh the gated community with the security guards?”

But we really aren’t particularly wealthy or posh. It just happens that property is cheap here and we were able to buy somewhere pretty nice. We still live in a flat though!

I totally get this OP. I used to get it all the time in reverse when i was a youthful lefty.
Its annoying because it signals that the person talking to you is more interested in catagorising you than getting to know you as a person.
Social class is important, of course it is.
But people of all social classes want to be appreciated as individuals.

I’m 50+ and have never been asked where my parents live
People often ask where I live (naice village)
Other small talk usually jobs, hobbies, holidays, children but I’ve never felt it was to try and define my class
I only share what I’m comfortable with anyway and will be vague if needed