To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

Oh and lawyers are extremely insecure. It’s a huge thing in the law profession. Which school you went to, did you go to oxbridge, did you do your training contract in a magic circle firm, are you a partner yet? And so on. I think it’s because you get a mix of chip on the shoulder ex stare school types mixed in with people who cone from well off families who can’t afford as much as their parents could because the cost of living has risen so sharply. These two groups form the majority of lawyers ime with a handful of internationals/children of internationals and the odd person who doesn’t give a fuck. The social class pressure in the legal profession is unreal. I know one chap who is in his sixties, has had a great career (partner at a big American firm, now has his own firm) who will only hire oxbridge undergraduates-why? Because he has a massive chip on his shoulder about not doing his undergrad at Oxbridge (takes every opportunity to mention what a vast he had at Cambridge doing his masters).

Racecardriver I’m as middle class as they come (and firmly middle middle - none of this upper middle bollocks) and while I’m deeply insecure about all sorts of things not being a toff isn’t one of them.

Totally agree, Racecardriver

In my first seat, a partner I’d never spoken to called me into his office. The next thing he said was, ‘which one?’...that’s it. He meant Oxford or Cambridge... I didn’t go to either, which went down poorly. The third thing out of his mouth was ‘LLB or GDL?’...again, I couldn’t give his preferred answer. What a dick.

Thankfully I don't have to go to events like this.

But if you do then what can you talk about? I mean I have no interest in people I don't know so would find it totally tedious and I don't think I get small talk.

Steer clear of politics and religion, can't ask about jobs, holidays, where you're from, etc.

So what's left? I'd happily spend the evening talking about The Big Bang Theory or various random stuff like space exploration or triathalon training but it's unlikely a stranger would have the same interests. I can't stand talking about kids, schools, extensions, etc.

lawyers are extremely insecure

That's a bit of a generalisation isn't it?

And Racecar wouldn't it be tenet not tenant?

Just confuse them with BS.

Where do you go skiing? Generally anywhere that has some snow and slight decline works for me.

What does your husband do? He is chief of the Yorkshire truffle finder association. Even though we live in the Midlands! He is that good at finding truffles.

Saying that - this is the sort of small talk I make when I go to work events with my husband and he wonders off so I'm stuck with people I don't know. It's never black tie and there's normally an open bar so it's not as stiff, but the general conversation topics are so where do you work, live etc to get to know each other. Until we find some common ground with something.

I just did one of those surveys.

I come from scum class, would have said working class but no one in my family had a permanent job.

I remember being jeered at on one of those coaches that take poor children to a pantomime because their parents haven’t 2 halfpennies to rub together

I have a broad northern accent.

But apparently I am Upper Middle Class.

They all sound like snobs! My dad is a respected scientist and had published hundreds of papers on Physics and is a well know doctor of Physics. But he lives in a rough area of Cardiff.
He could have a big house, but prefers to live with 'real people'.

I'm from Northern Ireland, where we don't really have private schools. Or at least that's what I believed until a friend's (V. Posh English) boyfriend acted very confused that someone like me had gone to such a posh school.... yeah mate, fees were £80 a year voluntary donation..... but my friend was upwardly mobile!

I've done one of those surveys today as well. Apparently I am upper middle.

Fancy that. All those years of not knowing I could look down on the people looking down on me

Racecardriver

Actually the really upper class people get on brilliantly with working class people but dislike the middle class people. It’s one of the tenants of British class rules that you loathe the class just bellow you (either to distinguish yourself if you are MC of because they are insecure wankers if you are UC)

I take it you mean tenets?

Damn. Beaten to it.
Ah well...

Those class surveys are dodgy and don’t take into account the actual class markers most people are familiar with. I was born on a council estate to two parents who have never been to uni, we were in poverty for most of my childhood, brother was in prison, only ever went on one holiday abroad (which was more than most kids I knew), I worked NMW jobs most of my working life so far until the past few years and was skint as hell. Yet because now I earn a decent wage, am in a relationship with a doctor, work in a profession and enjoy opera and classical music (which I always have), my education level and income and interests have me pegged as MC.

Yet nobody would ever consider me above WC due to my background, parents, lack of schooling, accent etc. Which is fine by me. Even though I earn okay now and have a good career it makes me laugh the idea of being considered middle class. I’m pretty sure the British class system is as much about where you’ve been as where you are now, right?

That’s interesting rosamacrose, I associate marrying young with being more middle class. I don’t know anyone who married young in my WC circle! Young pregnancies yes but not young marriages. Whereas the MC seem more obsessed with getting their kids married off ‘well’ early in life to make sure they’re on the right path. WC kids I know including me are just left to figure their own path through adult relationships, I don’t know anyone who has married even before thirty!

Nobody of ‘class’ will ask “do you like to ski?”
The question will be “Courcheval or Les Trois Vallees?” 😂

Courchevel is in the 3 vallees so nobody would ask Courchevel or les trois vallees!

Is you implying I’m common Nico?!
Ok, Megeve or Klosters?

Anyway, there is a difference when you book!

More likely to ask Meribel or Courchevel! Or Possibly Courchevel or Val Dis?

And yes when you book you wouldn't book three vallees, you'd book the resort you want. Which if you have any sense will be 1800.

Ah fuck it I’m going to Aspen

Oh the lawyer thing gets my goat. DH was a leading silk and working class. He is respected for his brain and ability to win cases. He couldn't give a chuff about verbier, he skis in aspen. Nobody else gave a chuff when they realised he could win cases others couldn't. Mind you his secret weapon was his posh wife. I can work a room wherever I am and he never had to. Brain, posh wife, loadsamoney - who cares? Nobody I've ever met. Oh and my car has dents. Oh, and he has perfect pitch and can bore for England about opera while I give a tinkly laugh about Juan Le Pins being just like Bournemouth when I was a child.

and I taught him to use a knife and fork

I was asked severel times where I lived... not an unusual question usually but I know I was being sussed out as airman or officers wife

Oh the military are so good at this and it's the middle ranking ones who're the worst. We were civilian members of the Officers' Mess but if we were invited to a function at the Sergeants' Mess our host was quizzed closely to ensure we were suitable for their Mess!
Of the three services the RAF were generally the most class conscious, maybe because they're the youngest service.