In being so so fucking angry? (Miscarriage.)

[gotmybigbootson]

Just had my 9th miscarriage.

I want to punch someone. I'm so so fucking sick of it. Nobody even cares anymore. DH tries to care but he's over it and numb I think.

My family I don't tell anymore.

My doctors seem to be complacent and 'oh well'.

I know, there's nothing to be done. I'm just sad, furious and done with it. I can't try again.

I want to break something. I want to run away and scream and scream.

Before I've felt mostly sad and heartbroken but now I'm angry. About everything and everyone.

DS is five tomorrow and I have to pull myself together for him. I'm beyond lucky I managed to have him. I'm grateful.

I still want to kick the living shit out of an inanimate object though.

Hand hold op. Why are your doctors complacent? Is there nothing they have suggested? 2 friends had some kind of tube flushing procedure when they were struggling to have a second. (One had a second , one didn’t) I’m just using that as an example of something that has been offered and wondering what your doctors have said.

I've seen quite a few doctors and they e all said it's just bad luck and my age. (41).

One put me on four courses of clomid. I felt that was kind of useless as I clearly don't have an issue getting pregnant.

Clomid is associated with higher miscarriage rates than alternative medications like letrozole. Letrozole can also be used once a week in men to triple sperm count. You can find it on the internet if you know where to look. My 2 1/2 year old son is a testament to the fact that it works (and I also had repeat miscarriages on Clomid).

Sending you lots of love. Sometimes mother nature is a grumpy old bitch.

@WombOfOnesOwn thank you. I'll look it up!

Mother Nature is a fucking asshole.

9 miscarriages is not bad luck. And you weren't 41 when all of them happened. Anyway 41 is not too old to carry a pregnancy to term.

I'm sorry, but your doctors sound quite rubbish :( they should be investigating this not shrugging it off.
Please feel free to kick your chosen inanimate object and then insist they find what is actually wrong.

I can only imagine what that feels like to lose so many as I had ivf to have dd. I’m sorry you’ve had a tough time.

The doctors are just shrugging. Have you had investigations and tests?

If an appropriate treatment, are they offering you progesterone / tablets to help your body hold onto the baby when first pregnant?

I'm so sorry. Miscarriages are horrible experiences.

Then I read on and saw you have a 5 year old child - rejoice in the one you have! You are blessed.

I am so sorry , 9 miscarriages not surprised you are pissed..... I would be to

I am so very sorry that you have lost your 9th angel xx

So so sorry. I'm sure you have been given a million remedies, so please ignore if you've heard this one already. You and your dh should both supplement with Vitamin D. There is a fair amount of recent research showing that vitamin d levels can affect miscarriage. Here's an article about one of the studies. Don't expect your doctors to know about current research like this.
I had a friend who had a zillion miscarriages and then finally got pregnant and her ds is now 18. She was in her late 30's. It was hard.

You are not unreasonable. Can you visit zita west? My friend had recurrent miscarriages and had her baby with help from zita’s clinic. My condolences for the babies you have lost, and don’t feel that having a child means you can’t be upset about this - that’s crazy talk.

This must be so hard, I am so sorry.

I've not experienced this and I am sure that there really are no words that can make it better.

We only had one miscarriage and it was very early, we had many years of trying to have a second child. We finally adopted and it was right for us. It's not the answer for everyone but it is for some. The adoption boards are very useful on MN. If you ever want to talk, I am here.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they have been in that situation.

I was heartbroken, resentful, so angry and a million other emotions inbetween.

People kept saying one particular comment thinking they were been helpful and each time i wanted to scream, cry and punch something.

Sending you big hugs and understanding.

Drs should not be being complacent that's atrocious!

What tests/investigations have you had so far?

Are you mc around the same point each time and if so at which point?

I've a few friends who had recurrent mc and as a result of either going private or being treated overseas discovered they have APLS (anti phospholipid antibody syndrome) apparently more common than is recognised in this country.,

For which the treatment is cheap and simple - low dose aspirin

You're likely already doing this, but are you being careful about food/drinks you're consuming? Certain additives and ingredients are believed by some to increase the risk but personally I feel this isn't treated seriously in this country. The main one I'm thinking of is caffeine which I learned after my 2nd mc can increase the risk.

I went as natural as possible in terms of diet and things like skin creams and other products I could be inhaling/absorbing when ttc dd and after I was pregnant. Of course cannot know for sure if it helped or not but kinda made me feel like I was doing all that I could to help things.

Have you been offered/had any kind of genetic testing to see if that's a factor?

Sorry loads of questions but just hoping you can find a remedy if you decide to continue to ttc.

I havent read all the posts, but, when i was doing IVF a friend i worked with was having issues the same as you, her doctor discovered her body was in the simplest terms sort of rejecting the baby, so she had to have an injection each day ( so each day we would both on our break go out to the office and have a injection session together) to counter act or fool her body and to be able to continue the pregnancy , she managed to get to full term and finely have her baby, and went on to have a second child later on, but again she had to have a daily injection... im unsure of what was actually wrong, but she explained it as i have above, that she was in a way ( her body not her personally) rejecting the baby... might be an idea to suggest to your doctor, or try and get in to a fertility specialist and see what ideas they might have, if need be the place was in New Zealand, Fertility Associates in Christchurch, maybe your doctors can email for a professional opinion on what the problem may be

I'm so sorry Your doctors are behaving appallingly.

I'm so sorry Your doctors are behaving appallingly.

So sorry @gotmybigbootson - I didn't have as many as you, but had my share too. I saw a miscarriage expert obstetrician who Always put me on low dose aspirin and high dose folic acid when pregnant. I also had HCG injections in my first trimester - did this twice and carried successfully once

Are you near a large/university hospital maybe where you can get help from people who research miscarriages etc?
So sorry for your losses

Oh I’m so sorry, I only had 2 but remember feeling so angry that my body Let me down. Please scream, rant and cry As much as you want. Will be thinking of you xx

And if it helps, I'm also angry.

Your reaction sounds entirely reasonable op, so sorry for your losses

I am so sorry for you your loss. I know at the hospital near me, there is a support group for women who have miscarried, they are also quite good at knowing the ins and outs of treatment.