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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How do you dispose of sanitary protection?

139 replies

BinkBear · 21/11/2018 01:17

Wondering what people do when it’s their time of the month and they need to dispose of protection? DH is complaining about me wrapping mine in loo roll then in one of those little scented plastic bags and popping it in the kitchen bin (indoors). He insists it has to go straight in the outdoor bin. Even if I’m naked and it’s 1am and it’s raining. I think he’s batshit and there’s no reason I can’t pop it in the indoor bin and take the bin bag out in the morning. AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

BinkBear · 21/11/2018 22:14

If he didn’t see me take it outdoors I wouldn’t be surprised if he looked in the bin to catch me out, so he could yell at me. He already listens for the tap every time I go to the bathroom and yells at me if he doesn’t hear it. I used to explain that I only went in to fetch something and hadn’t used the loo so hadn’t needed to wash. Sometimes I’d even run the tap while reapplying lipstick just to avoid an argument. Now I just tell him to fuck off and stop trying to police me.

OP posts:

MollyHuaCha · 21/11/2018 22:24

I feel for you.

Does he eat eggs OP? If so, does he realize what eggs actually are?

powershowerforanhour · 21/11/2018 22:25

Having a MH problem- not his fault.
Inflicting it on you instead of getting professional help to acquire coping mechanisms- his fault.

If you need shock tactics point out that- like the rest of us- he has up to 1000 species of bacteria living on his skin, in his mouth and up his nose; over half the shit (by dry weight) currently residing in his colon and rectum is made of bacteria and dead gut cells; and he's got Demodex mites crawling over his face and shagging each other at night. They spend the rest of their time in the hair follicles of his face and have no anus, so when they are full of shit they rupture and the soup of decomposing mite and mite shit sits in the hair follicle till it is excreted in sebum. If he has a bit of a freak out at this you can hand him the phone numbers he needs to ring.

Chesntoots · 21/11/2018 23:34

Mine used to listen at the bathroom door for the taps... After one spectacular meltdown when I told him I was an adult and would not be telling him when I had washed my hands, I eventually told him that I hadn't washed them - I had licked them clean.

Tip - don't try that line. It did not go well at all...

That was about a week before my breakdown and I know it sounds harsh, taking the mickey out of someone's mental health condition, but when you have lived with that for nearly five years and he refuses to get help, something has to give.

Perfectly1mperfect · 21/11/2018 23:36

I don't know what your relationship is like with your husband but from what you say, it doesn't sound great. Do you love him and want to be with him, if he agreed to get help? People on here are being very harsh to your husband. I'm not excusing his treatment of you, but the way he is behaving is because he is ill. OCD, from what I know, can make a person appear very selfish but it is because they are so anxious and focused on their obsessions that it's hard for them to see the bigger picture. The shouting and making you do things is the illness, not him, if he does have OCD. It's not easy to control. If he doesn't carry out his compulsions of cleaning etc he will feel completely anxious and unable to think of anything else which is when he will get angry. It can be difficult to separate him from his illness when the illness seems to take up so much time. What you do depends on what you think of him. If you love him and believe he's a good person then help him to get help and try to be understanding. Maybe have a read up on OCD. It can cause depression and he's probably feeling pretty awful most of the time. Obviously you are not obliged and if you don't love him then you can choose to leave.

colouringinpro · 21/11/2018 23:36

gotmybigboots so sorry

Onthebrink87 · 21/11/2018 23:51

Tell him to get some overtime in and take yourself off for a hotel break once a month to ease his distress a little!

SlippedMyIdiom · 21/11/2018 23:53

I use a menstrual cup and put my panty liners in the bedroom bin, wrapped in toilet paper only. DH has even offered to take my old one to the bin while I put a new one in my knickers(!)

You have two options with yours: either hand him the used product so he can take it outside everytime, or don't wear anything and bleed through the sheets because 'you know how much your protection disgusts him'!

MarysInTheDyson · 22/11/2018 00:01

Me and my dds put it in the bathroom bin.

mathanxiety · 22/11/2018 08:49

BinkBear - you really need to think very hard about exposing a child to what you are describing.

Please consider talking to a solicitor and trying to find out how you could keep contact in a contact centre or not at all if you were to separate.

HoppingPavlova · 22/11/2018 08:54

People on here are being very harsh to your husband. I'm not excusing his treatment of you, but the way he is behaving is because he is ill.

I don’t think most people are being harsh. In general everyone agrees he is ill so you are not pointing out anything that people don’t seem to know.

Being ill does not give you free reign to impact untowardly on others. If your actions are thus then you need to seek assistance and that’s the problem here. Not the OCD but the husbands refusal to admit there is an issue and seek assistance with the preference being to traumatise others. His wife can at least decide whether to put up with it or not. His kids can’t.

One of my kids has (diagnosed) OCD amongst many other issues. Has had since forever. They are an adult, technically in regards to chronological age . They will never be cured. However, there is a very clear expectation that they seek assistance to manage it when needed. Or they leave. They know this will be enforced, no mucking around. Generally it’s okay but sometimes triggers or stressors in life will cause things to slip. They get assistance in managing this. We are tolerant and understanding during these times because they are actively working on addressing things, working to put strategies in place etc. That’s the key thing. If they just turned around and said we all had to cop it, no, they would be out the door.

Perfectly1mperfect · 22/11/2018 14:40

HoppingPavlova

I did say that he needs to get help. I also asked the OP whether she wanted to be with him, if he was prepared to get help. I completely agree that if he doesn't seek help to find out what the problem is and then go through with CBT If he does have OCD, then OP shouldn't be expected to just put up with it and have him tell her that he doesn't have a problem. It's just that some posters on here don't seem to have any idea of how debilitating OCD can be.

Graphista · 22/11/2018 16:43

Can I just say cbt is not the wonder cure that's claimed? Many of us with OCD find it unhelpful and can even make things worse.

Perfectly1mperfect · 22/11/2018 17:43

Can I just say cbt is not the wonder cure that's claimed?

I know it's not a wonder cure. However, many people do find it helpful if they can work through it.

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