How do you dispose of sanitary protection?

[BinkBear]

Wondering what people do when it’s their time of the month and they need to dispose of protection? DH is complaining about me wrapping mine in loo roll then in one of those little scented plastic bags and popping it in the kitchen bin (indoors). He insists it has to go straight in the outdoor bin. Even if I’m naked and it’s 1am and it’s raining. I think he’s batshit and there’s no reason I can’t pop it in the indoor bin and take the bin bag out in the morning. AIBU?

The problem is that he insists there’s nothing wrong with him - he thinks I’m the one who is BU and I’m disgusting. He won’t seek help because he thinks his behaviour is normal.

It's perfectly normal to have a bathroom bin.
It's perfectly normal to put wrapped towels/nappies/tampons in an indoor bin.

What's not normal is him taking his issues out on you.
Or throwing a tantrum because you refused to bend to his will in the middle of the night.

It's not prejudice here, Graphista.
Nobody on this thread has callously dumped anyone, and if the OP were to decide that she preferred to separate it still wouldn't be callously dumping him.

He won't listen to her and accuses her of being disgusting when what she is doing is completely normal and reasonable. The thing he finds disgusting relates to her experience as a woman. It is hurtful as well as irrational.

This man thinks the OP's normal way of dealing with normal everyday used products in a way that millions of women deal with them is disgusting. He tried to make her go out in the rain in the dark to dispose of her sanpro in the way he wants her to.

He doesn't allow certain things that he considers dirty - a bin in the bathroom for instance. What sort of a person thinks they can forbid or allow a spouse to have or do something?

He criticises her cleaning.

He has screamed at her for wiping the baby's chin with her hand..

It's abusive and harmful.

There would have to be a huge amount of 'otherwise loving' to make up for that.

Loving isn't a matter of good intentions, or what you feel deep down inside despite appearances. It has to be shown.

is your health visitor any good? she might be able to help. the streas ov a new baby does push people from pre clinical to clinical symptoms , but dads get neglegted here.

Sounds like he has serious issues . He’s overreacting a lot.

If he’s struggling with mess now from weaning, you wiping baby dribble with your hand, etc, hows he going to cope when your baby gets older?

Kids are messy. My toddler’s currently dribbling on everything (i think he’s teething). We’ve had plenty of toilet accidents with my older DC, which have included wee and poo on carpeted floors. And vomit. My eldest is 7 and is only just starting to grasp the whole concept of trying to vomit into the toilet or a bowl when ill. We’ve had them painting each other instead of paper when doing crafts and then tracking paint everywhere. And all of them will heedlessly wander off and smear food covered fingers over things if you’re not fast enough with wipes or instructions to wash hands after eating.

And to answer the original question, in my house, my used sanitary products go in a bin in the bathroom. The bin is emptied when full.
Wet nappies go in either the bathroom bin or the kitchen bin, depending on which is nearer.
Dirty nappies go straight into the outside bin even if it’s the middle of the night and pouring down.

Well, this would seem to be the least of your problems. That is far from normal.

He is lucky you put it in a bag. I used to just wrap it in toilet roll and put it in the bathroom bin at home. If I was at in laws I would take down to the kitchen but and put it down well into the bin. No way would I be taking it outside each and every time.

I wrap mine in tissue and put in the bathroom bin (I don't even use a bag). He seems to have serious issues about bodily functions tbh

I had this with an ex. The only difference was I didn't have children.

In the end his constant stress, watching over me in the bathroom to make sure my jeans didn't touch the floor when I was on the loo and questioning about hand washing drove me to a mental breakdown. I was on such heavy medication I can't even remember most of one year.

You end up altering your own behaviour to ridiculous degrees just to avoid a meltdown. He knew he had an issue, but refused to see a doctor. To me that shows just how little he cared about my wellbeing.

Please either make him address his behaviour or leave. I've never said that on here, but what I went through I wouldn't wish on anyone. The thought of having a child in the mix and the impact it would have on them is frightening. If it can drive a grown, strong, independent woman to a breakdown, I dread to think what it would do to a vulnerable child.

Sorry, I know I sound a bit alarmist, but I have been there and it doesn't get any better.

You need to shove your dh in the bin for good. What a twat.

If he is shouting at you then that is not acceptable. I would sit him down when you are both feeling calmer and tell him that you won’t stand for being shouted at. You will support him to get help from the doctors but that he must do that because if he continues to shout at you you will have no option but to leave. And I would mean it.

I’ve never said this on here before but if he’s not going to get help I would leave him.

The damage he will do to your developing child is huge. You will end up with an anxious baby who is going to develop a lot of issues as he grows older.

I have a severe mental illness that could effect my kids, but I’m not arrogant enough to think I don’t need help managing it.
He’s being a total twat.

I posted after your first post saying he sounded crazy but after you have given more information, clearly there's a lot more to it so my last post doesn't apply.

If he does have OCD, he really does need to get some help. Start with your GP. He needs to realise that this isn't a 'normal' response. Your post about him being unhappy with you wiping your baby's chin with your hand is even more extreme. He sounds very anxious and it's a very difficult thing to live with both for him and you. I hope he manages to get some help. I can imagine it's difficult, but try to understand that he must feel very anxious.

Oh jeez. He sounds really ill. You cannot indulge this - he will just get worse. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting used pads in the bathroom or kitchen bin. There is no health risk - it's all in his head.
He needs to see a doctor.

I wrap mine up and put them in the bathroom bun. DH shops for them for me and in our house it's no different from me texting him to ask him to bring bread or milk in. When I have cramps, he makes me a comfy nest on the couch and runs me baths, exactly the same as he does if I'm not feeing well with anything else. It's treated as a normal part of life, which is what it is.

Out of interest, what does he do with used condoms?

My DP is great. When I used disposable products they'd go in the bin in the bathroom, then I'd put them with the burnables to go on a garden fire. Once or twice I'd just hand the bag to DP as he was going out to light a fire. He knew fine what was in the bag but wouldn't blanche. Now I use washables and, again, he has no problem with them going soiled into the washing machine with his clothes if necessary. (My mother, on the other hand, would have had a fit if she knew I'd washed one of her jumpers with them!).

I had norovirus last week. By the end I didn't have the energy to clean up after myself so just threw towels down everywhere. It hit during the night so DP was asleep, and it took him a while the next day to realise what had happened. I did clean up eventually, but I asked him a few days later if he'd have done it if I'd asked, and he said yes, surprised I might think he wouldn't. He's definitely at the other end of the scale to yours, OP.

He’s an idiot and needs to get a grip. Did he expect you to take your maternity towels outside when you’d just given birth too? Your disposal method is more than fine.

It's perfectly normal to have a bathroom bin to put all sorts of stuff in and for guests to use. He doesn't need to get involved with it at all.

He does sound unwell.

He seems to need some help as this behaviour is not at all normal! Periods are no more disgusting than other usual bodily functions, and as long as your pads etc are wrapped in toilet paper etc and binned then that's fine. Bathroom bin more suitable than kitchen I guess, but it seems lots of MNers don't have bathroom bins! (which I don't understand ...)

He sounds very unwell. He needs to see a doctor. It’s not just about sanitary stuff it’s about hygiene.

Wow he sounds like he needs help, I'm sorry OP it must be very hard that he is denying he has an issue and is blaming you for all his hygiene worries.

At least this thread has shown you his behaviour is 100pc not normal.

Could he actually explain to you what he thinks is going to happen if they are in the kitchen bin overnight? Surely you have worse things in the bin - raw chicken bits that have been left for a day or so? How does he think it's going to infect his food that is stored and prepared in a different area? Surely a rational part of his brain knows germs can't get out a plastic bag, out another bag, through a lid and into the fridge?

Unless his behaviour is affecting lots of other people who are prepared to stage some kind of intervention then I think you're going to have to just sit down when everything is clean so he is less anxious and go through everything and say you will walk unless he acknowledges an issue and tries to get help. Good luck

Is your child your first? Many people -fathers and mothers can develop mental issues after the birth of their first child in particular. Fear of flying, OCD, anxiety. It's all due to their internal stress at the new level of responsibility and the sense that they are no longer autonomous or in control. It is quite normal and can usually be quickly resolved with therapy but it seems you have a problem on your hands as DH doesn't accept that he has a problem.

I'm not saying people should put up with abusive or harmful behaviour, and certainly the ill person must seek and engage with the help available (which btw also isn't easy) but to callously dump someone because they're ill is out of order. It wouldn't be suggested if the sick person were suffering from a physical condition that made them angry/upset/frustrated yet repeatedly, especially recently on mn it seems to be becoming acceptable to say ltb if they're mentally ill. Often without even giving them a chance to seek help

And if he refuses to seek help? Where should the OP draw the line, when it's potty training time and he's screaming at the kid for pissing on the floor?

Christ. What a twat.

So much plastic waste. Use a mooncup

I will never use a mooncup, they aren't for everyone.