Help me word an email to the school that isn't full of expletives please.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I know I can do better that 'For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts', of course...

DS got a day in inclusion (ie isolation) because of his shoes. They are, admittedly, not quite regulation shoes, though they are plain black - but he was wearing them because his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening. He wore the not-quite-right shoes yesterday and there was no problem - I got home from work too late to take him shoe-shopping as my shift overran - but I got a phone call at work this morning saying they were 'unacceptable' and he would either be sent home or have to spend the day in inclusion. I was halfway up the M4 at the time. I explained the reason and that we were going to buy a new pair tomorrow (because I wouldn't be home till 7pm), but they said if he didn't have proper shoes in the morning it would be the same thing again.
Mercifully our nearest Sainsburys is open till 10pm and is one of those big enough to have a clothing and footwear department, so we have actually got new shoes, but what the fuck is the point of taking a well-behaved kid out of class for the day when he's only wearing not-quite-right shoes for a perfectly good reason.

I agree it's not right. I abhor uniforms and always have. I don't think it's about parents being afraid to say no their children, just the entirely erroneous mystique surrounding uniforms and respectability/academic attainment, yadda yadda that's bought into.

Then raise your issue that the sanction was over the top, deeply distressing for your DS, when it wasn't in his power to fix it

The sanction was known in advance.

Then all uniform infractions could be explained away by the parenting, so nothing would change as, whoops. parent fucked up again. Possibly keep them in at lunch.

Ask for clarity on levels of sanctions for infractions, and suggest that a lunchtime detention would be more appropriate in instances of well behaved kids having uniform issues

No lack of clarity has been suggested by the OP. Er....how exactly would you suggest the school distinguishes between "well-behaved" kids out of uniform, and utter toerags who deserve the full penalty of the rules? I'm trying to envision the rule here: if you're good kid and out of uniform, we'll go easy, if you're not... Seriously

It's what the rules are for. In this case, the parent let their child down, not the school's rules.

Echt so you think schools don't know who's trying it on? Do you really think kids that have black, non uniform shoes should miss a day learning when they are generally well behaved, good kids?

It is different if its a kid who's doing it repeatedly, and clearly pushing boundaries.

There needs to be some ability to apply context to things.

IMO missing a days learning over school shoes is over the top.

I'd like to see the teachers wearing uniform too. Set an example to the kids. And if you think - crazy idea! - why not? Lots of people wear uniforms at work, bank employees, nurses, airline staff etc. So come on teachers and heads...stop the hypocrisy.

Just to be clear, I hate school uniforms. I just think what's good for the goose..

Moved my kids from a very very strict school and this time last year I caught the Head to just quickly ask if the girls were allowed to wear boots as the weather was turning crap. She looked absolutely shocked at being asked and replied that as long as they were wearing something sensible she didn't care at all!

DD2's school shoes snapped recently and her class teacher looked amazed that we got her replacement shoes sorted out for the following morning (nanna had been buying bargains in sizes ahead again) - think they were perfectly resigned to her coming in in trainers or whatever for the remaining week or so until the half term.

Kids still look beautifully smart, school's pushing over into Ofsted outstanding (they're due back because they can't give outstanding off a short inspection so in line for a full jobbie), standards are phenomenally good - without identical spirit crushed children emblazoned in the school logo everywhere - supermarket uniform's acceptable, uniform list is a general list of colours and items of clothing and it's lenient enough that you can find something for kids with sensory or motor skill needs to wear that fits both their needs and the school uniform and doesn't make them stand out.

The OP didn't describe designer trainers though, they're black shoes from Millets, can't teachers just use a bit of common sense and appreciate that by day two the working parent has not been able to sort this out. My year 7 child would not highlight holes in his shoe if it was a dry day and I don't think he's unusual to not notice these things amongst his peers. As a working parent I have better things to do with my time than write notes to the school. I am more concerned with spending my free time getting them to do their homework, talking to them about their day and friendships, encouraging them to think about the news and politics. I often have to work at home in the evening after these things are done, the work I do on my laptop pays the bills, writing notes to school to cover him over petty rules which won't be relevant at all in the real world, is not an efficient use of my time! It's very infuriating in my son's case as the school shop have a turnaround of about a week from ordering something online to delivering to the classroom to the children, their website was down the whole of last week so I am effectively writing notes four times to cover their ineptness! Oh and if I had a shoe problem I do have Amazon Prime and we can afford them but I can't hasten their delivery time- it is what it is!

It sounds like the school went over the top, but agree with those who say to contact them in advance.

DH is a teacher, and works in a relatively deprived area. They often have kids in slightly the wrong shoes etc as the parents can't afford to replace them until payday - as long as they've told the school then they are fine with it.

Rules are rules and that's the punishment.

Just get the new shoes and move on.

Parents want uniform because they are afraid to say no to their children. It happened at DS's school. Parents too afraid to tell the kids they weren't buying them designer stuff so expected the school to do it. Lazy parents have made a rod for the back of decent parents and teachers.

So, why do schools go over the top to enforce uniform regulations?

Frankly, I think it's much better and more important to teach children that a lot of rules are bullshit, and that any rule should be examined before being unquestioningly obeyed. We have a bunch of vicious morons running the country at present, and the last thing the younger generation need is this idea that you must Obey Your Betters.

I do think a lot of the push for impractical, expensive uniform with loads of stupid additional rules is all about trying to force children into frightened, passive compliance, so they'll grow up to accept benefit sanctions, voter suppression and the steady removal of employees' rights, some days.

I've used Next's "order by midnight for delivery the next day" for this specific reason.

So, why do schools go over the top to enforce uniform regulations?

Because parents complain when they see the rules being broken. I was a teacher, it happened a lot.

I also think alot if it is to push out the people they don't want.

Expensive uniform and immediate sanction for accidental or unavoidable slight violations, will stop people who would not be able to afford it, or immediately be able to replace broken equipment from applying. Theoretically leaving them with a cohort statistically more likely to have the money too top up with tutors or he supportive and active in their childs' education and he well educated enough to assist and support well and ergo keep the results up...

Of course in many situations kids are given a school as there is no such thing as a choice and kid course there are plenty of rich shits disrupting classes too....

Must leave many kids and parents in a perpetual state of panic and stress.

Also seems to be the stricter the uniform the worse the school it's true round here anyway

Because parents complain when they see the rules being broken.

I'm curious as to how many parents actually complain. And how often.

I suppose it's natural that some parents, who comply to the rules, then don't like it when other parents get away with it.
But, I do wonder how many parents would actually want uniform (let alone strict uniform regulations) or want the rules enforced with no flexibility.
Have any surveys been conducted?

Devilishpyjamas

I don't do heat well, some schools insist the teachers wear a jacket outside the classrooms. I honestly believe UK schools should have either a different uniform policy for summer and winter or the PE kit should be designed as an alternative. So long baggy shorts instead of a skort and a long baggy t shirt.

I also never deny a child the toilet, with a couple of exceptions ie, "It's only 5 mins until break can you wait?" or, "When John comes back you can go, write a note in your planner and I'll sign it"

It's not like he went in wearing neon-pink stilettos.

But if he had and announced that he identified as a girl that day, he may well have got away with it.

Look, the kid went in in sensible black shoes and was isolated from the main body of students for the school day. On what planet us this reasonable or right?

@ReanimatedSGB Your most recent post is absolutely bang on!! It is most certainly more important that our children get the teaching we are so frequently reminded is of the utmost importance and cannot and should not be missed for reasons that are not what is classed as authorised! Being given work to do is not the same as being taught else what would be the need in teachers. Quite often the work given does not reflect the work missed so then that child not only punished by spending a day in isolation but later punished to spend more time catching up on the work missed or not understood. Anyhow I couldn’t agree more that rules should not just be blindly followed because they are labelled rules, they should be challenged! If they were not challenged women would still not vote, black people would still be slaves and evolution would not exist!

We need to evolve from this ludicrous idea that the education department of the government have got it all sussed out when they absolutely do not! And we must challenge them to make changes as and where it is necessary!

And at the end of the day they’re fucking shoes! Fair enough if it’s been a week or two and new shoes still have not been bought then fine contact the parent and ask for an eta on the new shoes but guess what then there are other ways around it. Have a system that helps children and parents in such a situation by having spare shoes that can be worn during the school day and returned at the end! If they really want to be that anal about it! A little girl who was mistreated at the school I used to work at was coming to school is shoes two sizes too small. What did the school do...put her in spare plimsoles til the end of the day! Everyday! Until the situation was resolved!

Feel free to send me the schools email and I’ll be happy to jump on the band wagon...hell....I’ll park the thing right outside the entrance!

I am a teacher (in an international school). We of course have a uniform, with uniform rules. I do not check they have the correct uniform on, most kids wear trainers. We wear special slippers in the classroom but Outside the class there is a wide variety of light up, sparkly, leather, etc shoes.

We have a seperate uniform on or/swimming/scout days. Occasionally kids wear the wrong stuff. So what I do is:
Remind them Wednesday is swimming, so wear the pe shirt.

When kids come in with coloured hair I tell them it’s cool. Their Dino jacket is awesome, it does not disrupt their learning in any way. Some teachers are stricter about classroom attire. They have rather a lot of battles. Do your work, listen to me, and look smart that’s what’s important v

Schools have to be ‘ obedience factories’ because allowing hundreds of adolescents to make up their own rules would lead to anarchy.

Apart from the fact that there is a big difference between allowing adolescents to make up their own rules and obedience factories, this is such a depressing attitude to teens. As if there will be violent anarchy unless you suppress every bit of initiative and individuality from them. I have 3 teens. They and their friends like an ordered learning environment. If they had to make up rules for school, there would be no anarchy. And plenty of schools enforce rules without isolation booths, petty rules, and obsession with obedience.

Have only skim read your replies OP. Apologies if I am repeating.

I think the school's behaviour might be illegal and if it isn't it jolly well should be. Your DS is entitled to a state education. What if you were ill, disabled or had no spare cash? Had a new baby, were a full time carer...... ?

I take it this is secondary?

Primary schools can’t engorce a dress code.

Enforce

I think it would be the same in my dcs' school. I like to think if i sent a note in with them that would help, but i suspect it may not do and they'd end up in isolation. Trouble is to avoid it you'd always need to have a spare pair.

Yes - and there are many, many families who cannot afford to have a spare pair of school shoes 'just in case'.