Help me word an email to the school that isn't full of expletives please.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I know I can do better that 'For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts', of course...

DS got a day in inclusion (ie isolation) because of his shoes. They are, admittedly, not quite regulation shoes, though they are plain black - but he was wearing them because his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening. He wore the not-quite-right shoes yesterday and there was no problem - I got home from work too late to take him shoe-shopping as my shift overran - but I got a phone call at work this morning saying they were 'unacceptable' and he would either be sent home or have to spend the day in inclusion. I was halfway up the M4 at the time. I explained the reason and that we were going to buy a new pair tomorrow (because I wouldn't be home till 7pm), but they said if he didn't have proper shoes in the morning it would be the same thing again.
Mercifully our nearest Sainsburys is open till 10pm and is one of those big enough to have a clothing and footwear department, so we have actually got new shoes, but what the fuck is the point of taking a well-behaved kid out of class for the day when he's only wearing not-quite-right shoes for a perfectly good reason.

Isolation is the Pindown scandal of this generation.

Yes because children sitting down at a desk all day clearly puts their life at risk. Ffs. They don't spend months in isolation- they go gone at 3pm, same as every other kid, and return at 9 the next day. They can go to the loo and get lunch when needed.

While it does sound ott for a minor uniform infringement, the way some people talk about isolation makes it sounds like they're handcuffed, deprived of food and drink and made to sew mailbags in minus 6 degrees.

Our school is very strict on uniform conpliance. But if I was in the OPs position I would have sent ds1 in with a note, and he would have been issued an exemption note for the next few days. It's perfectly possible to combine strictness with common sense.

This uniform police mentality in schools is getting totally OTT. Imagine being told at work that you would be sent home because your plain black shoes don't quite fit the bill (how could they not??) It is totally wrong to lose a day of education over that.

But what if parents can't afford to get replacements immediately?

And I agree that this isolation business is awful, and psychologically cruel. Sure, use it for unkindness towards each other but not because the plain black shoes aren't plain enough ffs!

I think schools seem to think a lot of parents don’t have a life outside doing the school run, they need to understand that parents work. Considering most work days end at 5 I’m not sure when they feel like you can shop for a pair of shoes which are most certain.y not gonna affect your child’s education unless they do stupid stuff like put them in isolation. I’m not really sure what this solves. My sister told me that kids at her school do stupid stuff to get put in isolation. I really don’t think it makes a difference.

Oh I like that pur school is strict (see above re: common sense). It avoids all that "but everyone else is wearing trainer shoes" nagging because their policy is clear, unequivocal and adhered to. The uniform is also affordable which helps.

Actually titchy in many schools they can't "go to the loo or get lunch" when in isolation - there is a loo in the isolation suite and they eat lunch in there, they speak to nobody, all day. Often for quite long periods, in schools where the SEND/Learning Support/pastoral care provision has been cut to the bone and isolation is used as a bin for children who need support that doesn't exist any more. In many schools (such as ours) teachers fail to provide work, so students are actually sitting staring at a blank wall for hours. It's horrendously damaging to their mental health, particularly given that the students who are in there most frequently are often the ones who already have additional needs and social problems.

So no, I don't think I am being overly dramatic. But then, I do have a 16yo with severe mental health problems, cutting and suicidal ideation, of which a large part of the cause has been the perfect storm between his ASD, the "Ready To Learn" regime and austerity cuts to school-based support.

In exclusion for the full day. Over shoes. Shoes.
Uniform police jump in about 'rules' and 'uniform policy' thinking its not BU. MN at its finest.

Sorry for the me-rail SGB, I kind of had to respond to that.

Still think you should go with "Oh FFS you petty-minded cunts". And send me a copy so I can use it too.

I work in a pastoral role in an 'obedience factory' school. I D E T E S T being made to deal with students because they're wearing the 'wrong' shoes when I have a queue of students waiting to see me for mental health related issues. So no, YANBU.

YANBU. Are his shoes affecting his ability to learn? No. Is putting him in isolation away from his peers? Quite possibly. Ludicrous and OTT.

YANBU. So glad DD's school has no uniform.

Punishing a child for something out of their control is wrong. What sort of message does this send?

It's sending the wrong message to children I.e it's the superficial things that count not your education, it's important enough to exclude you from that education. I mean it's ridiculous and out of touch with most workplaces I know where you wear casual smart clothes, more casual than smart so why go to such lengths to enforce that rule.

To be fair to the school, their 'inclusion' policy is not too brutal - he got set work, got fed. But he came home a bit miserable, thinking he was in trouble, as the other thing with inclusion is you get to stay an hour later than everyone else as well.

Why couldn't he have either (a) worn the shoes with holes in? Damp feet for a day or two isn't exactly a big issue (bloke at work next to me has a split across the entire sole of his work shoes and manages to survive. When he stops working stupid hours he says he's going to get them resoled)
Or if that's too shocking,
(b) he could have walked to school in the other shoes and changed into the proper ones once he got there (to avoid wet feet).

It's quite easy to stick to the rules if you choose to.

Oh I entirely agree that putting kids in isolation instead of dealing with their SEN or MH is a travesty.

I just don't agree that sitting in a warm dry booth, with access to a loo and food is the Guantanamo that lots of people seem to think it is. Yes it's dull, but for a day or two, for a NT pupil, pretty harmless.

Let's be honest a lot of office work is sitting in silence in a booth...

Isolation IS the scandal of this generation - think of all the lost teaching time and damage to mental health that happens at an already hard time in life.
It seems to be punishing children and their parents for things out of their control. Imagine the effect on a quiet anxious child of all this disproportionate punishment - I am not looking forward to my ASD DS potentially having to suffer this treatment.

Why the fuck should he have to suffer wet feet because idiots are obsessed with rules-at-all-costs? It's not like he went in wearing neon-pink stilettos.

All those who want to have a few days off on holiday without getting fined could really use this.

Slight uniform infraction. Child gets sent home. Can't return till uniform correct.

Go on holiday back in the new term.

It's fucking ridiculous, maybe just email school the link to this thread!!

(It also annoys me they call it 'inclusion' when it's the exact opposite. Very Donald Trump imo, ie completely deluded)

And also is making children wear clothing innapproprate to conditions or activities supposed to help learning in any way?

I wonder if people making these rules are actually on a massive comedown from something illegal? Or do they all line up for some blunt force trauma to remove the first 15 years of memories?

Because uniform rules are there to be followed. If you allow small exceptions then clear lines get blurred. Don't complain.

Why would it matter? How does this in any way affect teaching and learning? Why should schools not be expected to exercise a bit of common sense and recognise that parents can't necessarily get to shoe shops at the drop of a hat?

Insane to send a child to school in shoes with a bloody great hole in them when he has a perfectly good pair of black, sensible, non-damaged shoes to tide him over until his mum can get a new pair