Help me word an email to the school that isn't full of expletives please.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I know I can do better that 'For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts', of course...

DS got a day in inclusion (ie isolation) because of his shoes. They are, admittedly, not quite regulation shoes, though they are plain black - but he was wearing them because his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening. He wore the not-quite-right shoes yesterday and there was no problem - I got home from work too late to take him shoe-shopping as my shift overran - but I got a phone call at work this morning saying they were 'unacceptable' and he would either be sent home or have to spend the day in inclusion. I was halfway up the M4 at the time. I explained the reason and that we were going to buy a new pair tomorrow (because I wouldn't be home till 7pm), but they said if he didn't have proper shoes in the morning it would be the same thing again.
Mercifully our nearest Sainsburys is open till 10pm and is one of those big enough to have a clothing and footwear department, so we have actually got new shoes, but what the fuck is the point of taking a well-behaved kid out of class for the day when he's only wearing not-quite-right shoes for a perfectly good reason.

Whichever pp mentioned sending children to a school without a uniform policy, how many of those do you know of? They are as rare as hen's teeth, as far as I am aware. Certainly none in the whole of my London borough, nor any that I am aware of. There is no choice in this

I'm no longer in the UK, but the last time I looked at London schools only Camden School for Girls has no uniform. Oh, and excellent academic achievement, which is one in the eye for those who believe uniform and attainment are related, as if a glance at Europe couldn't; tell us all we need to know.

ShovingLeopard
Most secondary aged kids are more than capable of saying their shoes have a massive hole in them.
We get them turning up asking if we have superglue when they've ripped their sole and it's raining heavily. The vast majority of secondary pupils manage just fine and the vast majority of schools manage just fine.

In my experience when you get students not in school shoes, you get a couple who genuinely didn't think to say anything and then the others have left it until the last minute so they can wear trainers. Then I've called home and said 'DC is wearing trainers but there's no note, they've claimed for 2 days their shoes are broken'. Home have then found the shoes with a hole in and student hasn't told them because they just wanted to wear black trainers as long as possible

@Soontobe60 it's ridiculous to suggest that people can just change schools at the drop of a hat. It is also ridiculous to suggest that it is anyone's "fault" that a child has special needs: however, it certainly is the school's fault if it fails to adhere to its statutory duties towards such children and/or discriminates against them on the basis of their disability.

YANBU.
Stories like this make me so relieved my son’s school don’t have a uniform. He has gone off today in his non branded joggers, sweatshirt and trainers, warm comfortable and ready to learn.
What is the UK’s obsession with uniform all about?

I'm am expecting the same with my ds when he starts secondary next year. He always wears his shoes out (and too quickly too) but doesn't say anything until the hole is massive and that is usually first thing on a Monday (why not last thing on Friday when I can do something about it?)

While I do agree with a pp they have to be strict or lines get blurred and children see one child allowed so think they can too but it does seem daft at the same time.

While I do agree with a pp they have to be strict or lines get blurred and children see one child allowed so think they can too but it does seem daft at the same time

But it's not daft. All it took was for the OP to send in the reason for the wrong shoes on the day she let him go to school in them. Which she didn't.

(b) he could have walked to school in the other shoes and changed into the proper ones once he got there (to avoid wet feet).

Because often schools have rules about having to wear correct uniform to and from school.

OP

I'd go with asking them to clarify their policy on 'emergency uniform issues', ie when a piece of uniform is lost or damaged and cannot be replaced immediately. I'd then go on to give a number of unreasonable soloutions.

When you received the uniform list there didn't seem to be a policy for this.

Should the child be kept off school until the item is replaced? Work could be sent from teachers as it would if the child is in isolation.

Would this be reported as, 'educated off site' rather than unexplained absence?

Perhaps the school could take the child shopping and then bill the parent? Obviously this would be a payment spread over a number of weeks so families can afford it.

Perhaps they could link to a local shoe shop, the shoe shop can be called in to bring a selection of suitable shoes.

Maybe the school should keep a selection of shoes to be worn, a similar system to when you go bowling.

Maybe they could arrange for a local shoe shop to open up from 10pm to 8am in case any child's shoes need replacing overnight.

OP

It's ridiculous, I'm a bad teacher when ic comes to uniform, I never look at shoes and only ever pull students p if it's something like a bright pink hoodie.

I'm supply so I don't always know the actual detailed uniform but most of the time a child will approach me at the start of a lesson with a note or a message in their planner from head of year stating why the child is in bright pink trainers or isn't wearing a blazer.

Oh and I also start lessons now with, "If you want to remove your blazer you can, you don't need to ask me" because that's another fucking stupid rule.

This is outrageous. The school should have accepted your perfectly reasonable explanation over the phone and given your son a day's grace until the new shoes were bought.

Definitely complain to the governors - they need to know this sort of thing is going on.

My son isn't too young to be at school but I'm horrified reading about 'isolation' for uniform infractions. Is this a new thing?

I work in a secondary. We are strict on uniform. We are also sensible. Once a fortnight or so there will be a

"X's mum has told us that her shoes/ are broken/gone missing/fill in as appropriate. She will be wearing trainers today. Please do not issue any uniform sanctions."

Easy. Understanding. Sensible..

It’s not the bloody schools fault if a child has special needs, particularly mental health issues

Eh? Schools are meant to meet the needs of all their pupils. Pray, tell where these kids with special needs are meant to go (and yes I do know about special schools - my son went to one - he is non-verbal and had severe learning disabilities. There are many kids with SN who have no choice but to be educated in mainstream & tbh mainstream schools should be inclusive to them).

Schools don’t have to be obedience factories - my youngest son’s (state) school isn’t and mass anarchy hasn’t broken out. I always think the way their style of education is similar to the education you receive at university. Rather than a mass of rules to be followed without question (& there are some), they have more emphasis on personal responsibility & community.

There will always be occasions where rules are unavoidably broken through no fault of the transgressors but that doesn’t mean that penalties should be waived.

Really? penalties should not be waived when somebody unavoidably broke a rule through no fault of their own? So we punish somebody for doing something they could not have avoided doing through no fault of their own? so, in other words, we punish somebody who has done nothing wrong and is entirely innocent? hmmm

This is not even draconian, it's just plain wrong

Sashh when Ds2 was at bootcamp uniform School he always much preferred the teachers who let the kids take their blazers off when it was 30 degrees in the shade. I think it’s a small way of showing that you recognise you have a class full of humans in front of you.

He wouldn’t have articulated it like that, but anyway swearing in hideous polyester blazers on a boiling hot day in summer probably didn’t help anyone get ready to learn. God knows what a room of 30 sweaty teenage boys smells like.

I very much doubt it's mainly parents who want this sort of pointless bullshit about uniform. It seems to be mainly driven by the wank fantasies of tabloid columnists and elderly male politicions - a mixture of 'teach the lower orders some RESPECT by endless bullying' and 'Schoolgirls in white socks and pleated skirts fappity fap'.

School uniforms are often both expensive and of poor quality, particularly when you have to have everything branded from the school shop. They are also frequently impractical - ties and hats and blazers are extra shit for kids to lose or damage. And let's not forget the failing schools where a new (overpriced and often incompetent) head teacher is brought in once a term or so and the first thing s/he does is change the uniform so parents have to find another £100 or more out of nowhere...

The uniform bullshit is another example of what is going so badly wrong with education in the UK. It's all about pointless box-ticking, over-testing, surveillance and 'respect' ie unthinking, unquestioning obedience. No wonder UK kids' mental health is so poor compared to that of other countries.

I work in a secondary. We are strict on uniform. We are also sensible. Once a fortnight or so there will be a "X's mum has told us that her shoes/ are broken/gone missing/fill in as appropriate. She will be wearing trainers today. Please do not issue any uniform sanctions."
Easy. Understanding. Sensible

^^

And had the OP done this, her DS would not have been sanctioned.

they have more emphasis on personal responsibility

Couldn't agree more.That would be the parent's in this case.

When I was at school if you turned up in trainers you had to walk about in your socks all day.

Where I work now you would be lent a pair of shoes to wear (they are disinfected between uses). You can also purchase shoes through the school which are heavily discounted for people on low incomes.

Cost wise bootcamp uniforms school cost a fortune. The PE kit was about £200. And I had a total cat’s bum face about it as it was a grammar - so just another barrier for those without much cash.

Ds3’s uniform is dirt cheap. I grab him black joggers from supermarkets or H&M. Plain T-shirts and I sometimes get the school logo screen printed on for 50p. He has a jacket and some sweatshirts but they’re not essential. PE kit was about £15 if that iirc. And any shoes including black trainers so he doesn’t need school only shoes.

Ds2 being at a non-uniform 6th form is even cheaper. The cost argument for uniforms being cheaper is bollocks - the kids still need none uniform clothes.

The main reason I didn't send a note was because I thought his other shoes would do. They are plain black walking shoes from Millets - the sort of thing that's that bit heavier than trainers. And he'd been wearing them to school on Monday and no one had objected so, having planned to take him shoe shopping today, I wasn't anticipating any trouble.

The main reason I didn't send a note was because I thought his other shoes would do. They are plain black walking shoes from Millets - the sort of thing that's that bit heavier than trainers. And he'd been wearing them to school on Monday and no one had objected so, having planned to take him shoe shopping today, I wasn't anticipating any trouble

If they weren't uniform shoes, then that wouldn't do, so your DS needed a note of some kind that explained all you've said. In the absence of a note, the rules were applied.

It's time uniforms were scrapped altogether. Teachers have more important things to do with their time than be the fashion police.

It's time uniforms were scrapped altogether. Teachers have more important things to do with their time than be the fashion police

Uniforms are not national policy. Academies can do what they like. State schools are still overwhelmingly in uniform because of what parents want. Like homework.

Surely the sensible thing would have been to send him in with a note explaining and with the shoes so that they could see it wasn't bollocks? (Or like a PP suggested wear the other shoes to school and change there).
Rules are there for a reason - they teach children that you can't do what you want all the time for a start. That sounds like a valuable lesson given the way some children (and parents) act these days. And it puts children on a more level playing field - not everyone can afford the flashiest new trainers and if it takes a source of bullying off the table then great.
I can't see the problem.

Isolation shouldn't be used over a uniform infraction - regardless of parent notes etc. A lunch time detention would be more appropriate.

It sounds like they gave him a pass for one day, then came down heavy on the second day when there was no communication from home.

I agree its overkill, but parental communication can avoid these things, they were probably mightily pissed off at having to chase you about it.

Academies can do what they like. State schools are still overwhelmingly in uniform because of what parents want. Like homework.

Doesn't make it right. Parents want uniform because they are afraid to say no to their children. It happened at DS's school. Parents too afraid to tell the kids they weren't buying them designer stuff so expected the school to do it. Lazy parents have made a rod for the back of decent parents and teachers.

To actually answer your question...

Start by apologising for the lack of communication from your side. Acknowledge that its unfair for the school to have to have chased you.

Explain what happened.

Confirm you support the uniform policy

Then raise your issue that the sanction was over the top, deeply distressing for your DS, when it wasn't in his power to fix it. Ask for clarity on levels of sanctions for infractions, and suggest that a lunchtime detention would be more appropriate in instances of well behaved kids having uniform issues.

Your aim should be to get them to reduce sanctions to a sensible level and you've no chance if you go in all guns blazing.