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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help me word an email to the school that isn't full of expletives please.

454 replies

ReanimatedSGB · 20/11/2018 22:04

I know I can do better that 'For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts', of course...

DS got a day in inclusion (ie isolation) because of his shoes. They are, admittedly, not quite regulation shoes, though they are plain black - but he was wearing them because his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening. He wore the not-quite-right shoes yesterday and there was no problem - I got home from work too late to take him shoe-shopping as my shift overran - but I got a phone call at work this morning saying they were 'unacceptable' and he would either be sent home or have to spend the day in inclusion. I was halfway up the M4 at the time. I explained the reason and that we were going to buy a new pair tomorrow (because I wouldn't be home till 7pm), but they said if he didn't have proper shoes in the morning it would be the same thing again.
Mercifully our nearest Sainsburys is open till 10pm and is one of those big enough to have a clothing and footwear department, so we have actually got new shoes, but what the fuck is the point of taking a well-behaved kid out of class for the day when he's only wearing not-quite-right shoes for a perfectly good reason.

OP posts:
ILoveAutum · 20/11/2018 22:49

’For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts'

You, SGB, are a disgrace. Call yourself a mother?

...you should have sent it by now!🤣😂 but work in Wankbadger before you do.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 20/11/2018 22:51

Don't schools have better things to do then petty BS like this?

Goldenbear · 20/11/2018 22:51

Titchy, do you actually work in an office? Every office I have and do work in does not involve working in isolation in a booth, quite the opposite! I have been able to use the look when I want, get a tea/coffee when I want to, go out for lunch.

Didactylos · 20/11/2018 22:51

Totally agree with you OP, its ridiculous to punish a child over such a thing, especially when they have no control over the circumstances or the length of time it might take to get new shoes. I think exclusion affects the childs education and social relationships much more than the rest of the class are affected by having a peer amongst them with (Shock whispers non regulation shoes!) for a day or two.

Ooplesandbanoonoos · 20/11/2018 22:52

Yanbu schools are too obsessed with minute detail re uniform in my opinion!

CherryPavlova · 20/11/2018 22:52

If it’s a great big hole, it would have surely been apparent before Sunday night. Assumedly it didn’t get there all by itself over the weekend?
School acted reasonably and you could have bought new shoes on Saturday. If your son chose not to mention the hole, hats his daft fault and he’ll learn about consequences.

Eliza9917 · 20/11/2018 22:53

Please email the school this thread!!!!

BewareOfDragons · 20/11/2018 22:53

I agree with you. Completely.

But schools are so wrapped up in their own bureaucracy and self-importance over the most ridiculous of things, and also worried that there are enough families that will take the piss with the rules,, that common sense doesn't actually prevail.

RedHelenB · 20/11/2018 22:54

I'd just say I'll keep him off school until I get the new shoes if he's going to be in isolation anyway. And they won like the effect this has on their attendance figures.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/11/2018 22:55

Yanbu.

You have to allow someone some time to replace a product.

Especially when the suppliers you are forced to use take days to deliver the order, and and for shoes well the6 can wait a day or two til you can get to a shop. Seriously....

Dds were over 70 quid and cake from.a shop several miles away. Id not he buying shoddy shit from Clark's when she has to walk 3/4miles a day . Nor would I send her in an unfitted supermarket pair to appease am impatient head...

tolerable · 20/11/2018 22:55

give em all youve cunting fucking got.arseholes on exclusion toast.non-defuckinbateable

Greensleeves · 20/11/2018 22:55

In our school they are constantly drilling the kids about taking responsibility for their own actions...maybe something in the letter about how punishing children - quite severely - for their parents' financial/time limitations sends entirely the opposite message?

WaxOnFeckOff · 20/11/2018 22:55

And do the staff also have a stringent clothing policy they have to follow?

This stuff does my head in. By all means have a uniform and ban anything offensive or that contravenes health and safety but otherwise, honestly why does any of this shit matter? I also strongly object to having regulation hairstyles. Why does a school get to decide how someone looks when they are in their free time? As long as it's not offensive or likely to cause an accident then what does it matter?

Miscible · 20/11/2018 22:56

Isolation when used repeatedly as a punishment - particularly for something the child cannot help - is arguably illegal. Children are entitled by law to full time education, and sitting doing worksheets in isolation self-evidently isn't education. When it's used by one of the schools that operate incredibly rigid uniform and discipline policies, it almost inevitably involves serious discrimination against disabled pupils. This really ought to be prioritised by Ofsted.

gladimoutofit · 20/11/2018 22:57

Strongly suspect i know the school you are talking about. Quite frankly it does need a discipline shake up but sadly things have gone OTT and not just in the uniform department Sad

Valasca · 20/11/2018 23:01

“his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening”

What sort of shoes develop a “surprise” hole. Shoes wear out gradually. You can see them wearing out, so the idea that his shoes suddenly and inexplicably get a hole out of nowhere and you’ve had absolutely no time to get new ones are a bit ... far fetched. I can see when my kids’ shoes are at the point where they might break off or snap. The school expect you to anticipate - like the rest of us - and not wait until they actually fall apart.

Maelstrop · 20/11/2018 23:01

Why didn't you just write a note like other parents excusing the lack of correct shoes until the following week? I've never once queried this as a teacher. I perfectly understand lack of funds/time to get to the relevant shop. I sent a student to Tech today to get his sole hot glued back on and lent another elastic bands to keep the sole from flapping til he went home.

WaxOnFeckOff · 20/11/2018 23:01

When I went to school most people didn't wear a uniform or occasionally wore some items of uniform, I still managed to grow up and wear a suit as required or dress smartly and appropriately for work the rest of the time. I do a job that is in regulation so is all about having to follow rules and regulations and comply. Wearing a uniform to school is not preparation for the working world where most jobs have no uniform and dress codes are generally more relaxed nowadays anyway.

NonaGrey · 20/11/2018 23:02

I would personally be writing to the Head and asking for an explanation as to why “not quite right” plain black shoes were more important to the school than their primary function, which is educating my child.

I would be incandescent in your position. You child is effectively being punished for having a working mother.

Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire

Unless of course you are wearing the wrong shoes and then you miss the opportunity to learn at all.

Incandescent

everybodypuuuuulllll · 20/11/2018 23:05

If you don't get any joy with the complaints channels, then sad face story in the local press if your DS is up for it. WTF is the school thinking?

Maelstrop · 20/11/2018 23:08

If you don't get any joy with the complaints channels, then sad face story in the local press if your DS is up for it. WTF is the school thinking?

Omg, seriously?!

NonaGrey · 20/11/2018 23:09

If you don't get any joy with the complaints channels, then sad face story in the local press if your DS is up for it.

Nooooooo

jcsp · 20/11/2018 23:09

I’m a retired teacher. I’m with you.

If your son had been in my form I might have noticed them, had a chat, listened to his explanation and then told him to keep a low profile that day!

I was never one for enforcing the unkind and unreasonable rules my younger and betters thought would sort out everything from attendance to exam results!

everybodypuuuuulllll · 20/11/2018 23:10

Yes seriously. The school should be called out on this. They should change their policy, kids should not be put in isolation for having slightly wrong shoes, it's utterly nonsensical.

DobbinsVeil · 20/11/2018 23:11

Did they clarify what they meant by sending him home as an option? Were they expecting him to return with a regulation pair, or just sending him as an informal exclusion? Because the latter is a big no-no.

My DC primary school introduced ties as part of the uniform. Ties go missing regularly in the Yr1 class during the school time. School say the DC are old enough to take responsibility for their belongings and then introduced a system allowing those wearing ties to be allowed to go to lunch 10 minutes early. This was short-lived.