Help me word an email to the school that isn't full of expletives please.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I know I can do better that 'For fuck's sake, you petty-minded bunch of cunts', of course...

DS got a day in inclusion (ie isolation) because of his shoes. They are, admittedly, not quite regulation shoes, though they are plain black - but he was wearing them because his normal school shoes were discovered to have a fucking great hole in on Sunday evening. He wore the not-quite-right shoes yesterday and there was no problem - I got home from work too late to take him shoe-shopping as my shift overran - but I got a phone call at work this morning saying they were 'unacceptable' and he would either be sent home or have to spend the day in inclusion. I was halfway up the M4 at the time. I explained the reason and that we were going to buy a new pair tomorrow (because I wouldn't be home till 7pm), but they said if he didn't have proper shoes in the morning it would be the same thing again.
Mercifully our nearest Sainsburys is open till 10pm and is one of those big enough to have a clothing and footwear department, so we have actually got new shoes, but what the fuck is the point of taking a well-behaved kid out of class for the day when he's only wearing not-quite-right shoes for a perfectly good reason.

It occurred to me that I could have agreed to, or even suggested, that he come home and put on the shoes with the holes in.
But fuck that shit. It's been a vile cold day of pissing rain here and there is no way I would cause my kid physical discomfort to 'support' this sort of nonsensical bullshit.

I know a school local to me who were teaching a primary age child with SEN (who had an EHCP) in what was basically a store room. Child wasn't allowed near any children at break/lunch etc and the child was also excluded from all school events. Yet there's no paperwork required from the school for that. Not good.

Well quite. Is he more Ready For Learning, in black shoes which aren't regulation, or wearing regulation shoes with a big hole in on a wet November day?

Thousands of kids with additional/support needs in secondary schools all over the country in that situation Dobbin, only they're spending their days in isolation bins booths staring at walls or doing the same worksheets over and over. National disgrace.

And as for the idea that a kids should waste learning time walking home in the rain to put on a pair of shoes with fucking holes in them to satisfy the finer points of the shoe policy...surely, anyone who defends this is just being pig-headed for the sake of it

I know it's a disgrace Greensleeves. I have 2 with ASD, fortunately DS1 (13) is in an excellent ASD base. DS3's (5) school now has the same Executive Head of the school I mentioned above. He doesn't have an EHCP and Year 1 is already going wrong. I'd say I dread to think what's ahead, but I've got a fair inkling.

It puts me in mind, a bit, of the equally toxic idea that you 'shouldn't undermine' your partner's authority - when someone is being an idiot or a bully, the right thing to do is to demonstrate clearly that there is no need to respect 'authority' when it's bullshit and that objecting, complaining, challenging and disobeying are valid options.

Completely agree. Very unhealthy to teach children that any nonsense that comes from an authority figure must be swallowed wholesale, however toxic or plain ridiculous it is. My dc see me stand up to the school when it's necessary, they see me advocate for them when things are clearly unfair, and they also see me back up the school when the dc IS in the wrong. The schools certainly aren't teaching critical thinking, so somebody has to.

I wonder if it would be possible for the government to provide uniforms for all children that attend state schools where uniforms are worn. This would ensure everyone is wearing the same-no infractions or personalising-and no-one singled out for not being able to afford everything on what can be a very long list.

I don't know if police or army have to pay for their uniforms but, if they don't-why should parents have to pay for a uniform that is decreed from on high.

I used to work in a school which introduced the rule mentioned upthread about pupils standing up when a member of staff entered the room. The problem was that several classrooms could only be reached by going through other rooms. The interruption was annoying enough when it was just a teacher cutting through , but it became a royal pain in the arse when the students had to stand up every sodding time.

They said 'He can't be in school without the right shoes, either he comes home for the day or he spends the day in inclusion.'

Point out to them that excluding a child for this reason is against the law, and that their willingness to break the law is setting an extremely bad example to their pupils.

Isolation rooms should not be used full stop. I would be complaining very strongly about that. Especially as it wasn’t even an urgent safety or extreme behaviour issue. Back it up though and ask to go in and have a chat or on the phone.

schools can send home for uniform and it’s not counted as an unlawful exclusion because they can come back into school with the correct uniform

Not true, Cauliflowersqueeze. Every time a pupils is sent home it counts as a half day fixed term exclusion and the parents must receive a formal letter notifying them of the exclusion, the reason for it, and their right to ask the governors to review it. If the school doesn't send such a letter, it's an unlawful exclusion.

Even if they do go through the formalities, government guidance makes it clear that exclusions can only be used in very limited circumstances and cannot be used to punish the child for something his parent has done. Where they are not permanent, they must be for defined periods. Obviously if a school sends a pupil home and says they can't come back without the correct uniform, they don't know how long that will be since the parent may not be able to buy the relevant item. Therefore, again, the exclusion would be unlawful.

YANBU.

Ohhhh, God! Where do I start?!! It's such twisted, petty nonsense!!!

How can they possibly justify taking kids out of lessons in this way when they're also fining parents for attending family funerals etc??

On top of that, this sort of policy inevitably affects the poorest families the most. It's a truly horrible, mean way to treat a child.

Please make sure your DC knows what utter nonsense this is.

Part-time timetables are legal as long as they are a short term response. Where they are used long term they are not legal.

Also not true, Cauliflowersqueeze. Children are entitled by law to full time education and failing to provide it is both unlawful in itself and disability discrimination. If they are not coping in school, that is likely to be because they are not receiving the right support and that needs to be addressed.

If they cannot cope due to mental health difficulties, certainly part time education might be appropriate, but it must be backed up by medical evidence - schools can't unilaterally decide to impose it.

Hate the idea of these isolation booths. I am so glad i work in primary, where we are able to care about our puupils and families.

Whilst this situation is bad enough what about those families who have no money, families using foodbanks struggling just to keep a food over their head. Should they not pay the rent to pay for shoes that week when there is a perfectly usable (non conforming) pair there.

These are kids i will never understand hwy people feel the only way to teach a child or animal is to break them first.

OP - The uniform obsession in some schools is ridiculous. One would almost think that those in charge want the pupils to have identical minds to match.
Every year Y7 pupils are turned away from secondary school on their all-important FIRST DAY in September because some blinkered head teacher thinks the shoes take priority over the child's right to an education.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-uniform schools can send home for a uniform infringement to be remedied.

Reading this thread has upset me.
The school is supposed to be in a Partnership with the parents to provide the best education possible for each and every child.
It is also a basic rule of Law that no one should be punished for the actions of another.
The school does not possess the right to ever punish a child for the failings of its parents, or have the right to cause them and us situations to occur as this breaks the Partnership.
Throwing a child into isolation or kicking them out onto the street when the parents are out working, because the parents have failed to supply alternative suitable footwear within a couple of hours...This would make me very wild eyed and speaking very quietly and controlled. Teacher, Head of Year, Headmaster, Govenors, LEA...Etc. rapidly.
I failed to stop my kids school from doing this kind of bull through reasoning with them.
I eventually resorted to treating my kids to a slap up breakfast and took them to school several hours late each time the school did so.
The school eventually realised they were losing through damage to their attendance figures and stopped doing it. They actually cared about their figures.
I was lucky to be in the position to do this.
I would look for ways you can cause hurt or at least inconvenience to them in return.
Do whatever you need to do to teach them that anything like this will not be tolerated.

Part time timetables are NOT legal if they’re short term. School’s often try to get parents of kids with SN to accept them but they are always advised to make sure it is included as an exclusion.

The whole obsession with ‘office’ shoes at ds2’s school was weird. My son walked 40 mins to school. I wanted him to have comfortable shoes for walking in. Was always a nightmare getting something that satisfied their ridiculous requirements and was actually suitable for walking in outside in all weathers.

Ds3’s school (with the sensible uniform policy) has a similar walk home. He nearly always stops off on the way home to play football with his mates for about half an hour. All easily done with his sensible uniform and sensible shoes (he tends to wear black jogging bottoms to school so fine for a post School football game).

It's complete, complete and utter madness.

When I was at school there was a uniform or a dress code and as long as what you were wearing was reasonable for the purposeand the right colour, it was fine. We got an education and didn't descend into anarchy.

I live abroad and there are no uniforms here for very good historical reasons. my dc are getting an education in schools that don't descedn into anarchy. Indeed, I dare say they are getting more education due to their teachers not being distracted by nonsense like this. And when the kids start work they seem to have no issue dressing appropriately for their professional environment.

I agree with you, SGB, re the authoritarian thrust behind this ridiculous pettiness, which - i can assure you - looks completely and utterly bonkers from outside the UK.

That's wrong OP. I would be furious too.

My dd school have a policy that lost, damaged uniform must be replaced by the Thursday of the following week. Paremts are expected to semd a note and provide closest alternative . The reason for this is that the school uniform shop run a mail order service which delivers for pick up to the school reception on the Wednesday. Sadly they do not do shoes but it gives a few days to replace

isolation for wrong shoes is
unreasonable especially as they were plain black

This annoys the shit out of me, this petty rule-abiding jobsworth nonsense.

They were shoes, they were black, they did the job of keeping his feet warm, they were enclosed - what the actual FUCK is wrong with that??
Different if they'd been white with fluoro stripes on, yes, that's an issue - but they're not.

School rules like this are total wank.

Schools have to be ‘ obedience factories’ because allowing hundreds of adolescents to make up their own rules would lead to anarchy. I agree that for some DC this is not a suitable environment, these DC are not suited to institutional life and would probably be better home schooled. If that’s not possible, for whatever reason, they will have to put up with the less suitable alternatives available.

I worked in a school when isolation units were an experimental idea. There was a lot of rumbling when a Deputy Head introduced it as the idea sounded draconian however the (positive) difference was incredible. Disruptive students were taken out of the class and teachers were free to teach rather than wrangle and other students were free to learn without distractions or threats. It often had a positive effect for the isolated students too who responded well to the quieter and boundaried atmosphere of the isolation unit and the focussed presence and attention of the SMT members on duty there.

I am not sure about the benefits of putting an otherwise good student in isolation because of a uniform infraction, but I can see how hard it is to start making exceptions to rules in large communities. If you allow X to bend the rules for 2 days how can you then justify enforcing them for A, B, C and D etc? There will always be occasions where rules are unavoidably broken through no fault of the transgressors but that doesn’t mean that penalties should be waived.

I don't know if it would help but I think one of the main points to highlight to the governors, if it comes to that, is that it undermines the 'education is important' message. If what being in class offers is so weak that it's fine to miss it because of slightly wrong black shoes, then the students get the message that it can be missed.
Is that what the school wants students, or parents, to think?

And yes as pp have said - totally in contradiction with fining parents for holidays, funerals etc. Either being in class is so important that we should organise our lives around it and miss funerals, weddings, holidays, we should go in when ill, etc, or it isn't. The message is loud and clear from the school: it isn't.

Loonoon - I get what you're saying, buit doesn't that mean, by extension, that rules (the kind that need to be inflexible) should only be applied to things that actually make a material difference to the general conditions for learning? Someone else wearing slightly un-regulation shoes doesn't impact my child's learning (or their own). isolation for a small difference in clothing (which is also outwith the control of the child), because it serves no material purpose in reducing actual disruption, can only be about imposing an environment of total discipline, which has several disadvantages - it's removed from the flexibility and areas of tolerance that exist in the 'real world', it prizes conformity over the individual and his or her circumstances to a concerning extent, and it teaches (or models) an ethos of blanket exclusion of difference/divergence which is almost exactly the opposite of the skills that will be needed in the world of work.