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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect neighbours to come and collect their missed parcels?

175 replies

DiamondMine · 20/11/2018 16:45

One of our neighbours orders a lot of stuff online (fair enough, so do we) however, they are out all day at work (again, fair enough) DP works shifts so is often around in the mornings when post/ parcels are being delivered. They always ask us to sign for them and then they pop a note through their door.

However, every bloody time they never come over to collect, we always have to bring their parcels round to them. Ive just arrived home from work, DP is at work and obviously signed for some parcels for said neighbours as there are 4 (quite big) boxes here and an ASOS bag.

WIBU to not go back out again tonight in the pissing rain and cold and just wait to see if they bother to come and collect?

AIBU? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind popping people's missed post round on the odd occasion but I’m not bloody Royal Mail and I’m inclined to think if it’s your parcel, it’s your responsibility to collect?

It’s taking up a lot of space in the hallway too

OP posts:

Custardee · 21/11/2018 20:53

If you have their number text them to say they're there and could they pick them up as soon as they can as quite large and you 'don't want them getting damaged'

JessieMcJessie · 21/11/2018 21:27

Er, you just did post something marinerscove...

Pixie2015 · 21/11/2018 21:31

I prefer to take parcels to neighbours rather than them disturbing our evening meal / bath or waking to kids

YearOfYouRemember · 21/11/2018 21:37

Maybe they are trying to start a thread or maybe they think they are being funny.

Chocaholicjellybelly · 21/11/2018 22:02

We reguraly take in parcels for our neighbours .Before I accept a parcel I always tell the postman/ courier to put a note through their door. I don’t mind taking deliveries for them but it is their responsibility to come and collect it.YANBU.

Jenny17 · 21/11/2018 22:16

Unless you have an agreement with your neighbour you have no business accepting parcels and demanding / expecting they go and collect them from you.

You cannot force a favour on someone then complain when they don't do as you want.

Your neighbour does not have a contract with you, they have one with the supplier and no where do they agree to their parcels being delivered to a neighbour or your collection terms.

Lastly I can never understand why people collect parcels then complain later. The ball is fully in your court.

sophisticatedsarcasm · 21/11/2018 22:29

I’d just wait for them to come around, your doing them the favour, we sometimes have parcels delivered for our neighbours and despite him being a miserable fuck he’s always comes to collect. And the same if they get delivered to our other neighbour. I thought that was the etiquette for this situation.

PeapodBurgundy · 22/11/2018 06:36

Have they got little ones? I sometimes don't go right away to collect a parcel if I've got home and taken the toddler out of the pram and the baby out of the carrier before noticing the card (usually when it's stuck in the letter box rather than on the mat). Ballache to take them with me, and too young to be left in the house.
That being said, if you see them coming and going, nothing to stop them collecting on their way back out again and sticking it in their own hallway/porch before they leave.

bimbobaggins · 22/11/2018 07:02

must stop taking them in, you are under no obligation to do so, just say no. I’m happy taking in parcels for my neighbours I’m on friendly terms with but if they didn’t even smile or nod hello then it would be a no from me. They’ve probably got it on their account if not in to deliver to yours

MasonJar · 22/11/2018 08:33

Unless you have an agreement with your neighbour you have no business accepting parcels and demanding / expecting they go and collect them from you...
...Your neighbour does not have a contract with you, they have one with the supplier and no where do they agree to their parcels being delivered to a neighbour or your collection terms.

Good points Jenny17.
If I've bought something online, especially a valuable item that needs a signature, I've paid for it to be given to and signed for by me, not handed over to someone living in the next street.
Although I try to be at home for deliveries, if I'm not am quite happy to go to post office/collection centre to get the parcel.

JessieMcJessie · 22/11/2018 08:39

The problem is that most of these deliveries are not Royal Mail and the likes of Hermes, UKMail, DPD etc don’t have a sorting office that you can go to to collect. I think the drivers are also under pressure to offload stuff as quickly as possible, and Amazon, ASOS and the like do not pre-schedule delivery slots with customers. It’s a bit of a shambles.

VeganCow · 22/11/2018 08:49

I always take in for neighbours if I'm in when deliveries come to our road. They also take in for me. When I get home and theres a 'left with number whatever' card, I go straight round before doing anything else, the minute I walk through the door. And they do the same. We also have each others keys/feed pets/do odd jobs/send christmas cards etc and generally all look out for each other. Its nice to be a good neighbour and it surprises me that so many people want to stay insular and keep distance from meighbours. But saying that, none of us takes the piss and I can imagine it being a right pain in the arse having cf neighbours.

haloumi · 22/11/2018 09:00

I'd Drop the last lot off,

Then never accept a parcel for anyone else again. And similarly, never expect them to accept mine.

Job Done

SilkenTofu · 22/11/2018 09:13

Your neighbours are CF'ers. If they work FT they should try and arrange it so they do not inconvenience their neighbours. No offence to delivery drivers but I do not like opening the door to strange blokes I don't know when I am on my own in the day.

They can buy lots of products which are click and collect. They can have things from Amazon delivered to drop points. They can buy stuff and ask for it to be delivered on a Sat in some cases. I have loads of things delivered to me and I do not want to go to my elderly neighbours to get them. I have a massive box outside my front door with a sign on to leave boxes inside. My house is pretty private though and no one has stolen anything to date.

TurquoiseDress · 22/11/2018 10:05

I would be inclined to refuse to sign for neighbour deliveries, it seems to be a regular thing and you have packages building up.

We do not have a spare room or garage/shed to house other people's deliveries, so that makes a difference to what I would do.

If it's a one off, I don't mind, but in your case it sounds like it's turning into a regular thing.

TurquoiseDress · 22/11/2018 10:07

When I order off Amazon, tend to choose a pick up point/locker which is a 5min walk from where I live.

IMO your neighbours should be doing this if they work FT and are generally never at home during the day.

Also, it's a pain when neighbours take your stuff in for you but then they are out/away for the next few days (this has only occurred once, but that was enough!)

cantfindname · 22/11/2018 10:27

Stop being a snowflake and enabling them!! Just say, 'I don't mind taking your parcels in but could you please collect them promptly as they take up my space'

Easy. Polite and inoffensive.

JessieMcJessie · 22/11/2018 10:36

I don’t like delivery drivers disturbing my elderly neighbour, although he is always charming about taking in parcels when asked. However I find it impossible to specify with vendors that drivers should not do this- special comments on orders or Amazon account etc just get completely ignored, it’s clear that either the drivers are never shown them or they don’t bother to read them. I suppose I could put a note on my door but I feel that draws attention to the fact that I am not in.

Rinceoir · 22/11/2018 10:44

When I use amazon we usually use a pick up point. Ditto for any other services which allow it. There are services which don't though and they often ignore your chosen slot. For example a few weeks ago we ordered some items form John Lewis, paid extra for a Saturday slot but somehow the bulk was delivered to a neighbour on Friday. Luckily we often take in parcels for each other on my street and it wasn't an issue but it is very annoying trying to arrange deliveries at times.

MasonJar · 22/11/2018 11:02

I once spent a very frustrating few hours on phone and email trying to explain to various Amazon support people that I don't want any of my deliveries left with anyone except me. It was like speaking to a blank wall, they couldn't or wouldn't understand what I was trying to say.

JudasPrudy · 22/11/2018 11:06

Don't see the big deal tbh. I always take parcels in for my neighbour, sometimes they knock and sometimes I just nab them when I see them outside. They've had a parcel of mine since yesterday but I didn't like to knock their door in the evening as they have young kids in bed.

ClarabellaCTL · 22/11/2018 11:52

What happened to being friendly and neighbourly? You have 3 options:
1 - don't take their parcels if it's bothering you that much
2 - take the parcel round if the fact that it's taking up space in your hall is bothering you that much
3 - wait for them to come and get it while you fume about it taking up space in the hall.

HoustonBess · 22/11/2018 12:58

You're being a bit English about it maybe? Before refusing to take more parcels, next time they get one say 'please could you make sure you pick up parcels quickly as they take up space. Can I have your mobile number so I can ask you to get them if you don't do it fast enough.'

If they still take the piss, then I'd stop taking them in. Easier to send a text than go round with the parcel though.

Iggity · 22/11/2018 12:59

We have had 2 parcels for a neighbour's son (in his early 20s so not a child) sitting in our hallway since last Saturday. The mother is not the friendliest and she complains anytime they can but they have taken in parcels for us so one good turn etc.

A note was put in through their door but they have yet to collect. We have neighbours on the other side who also leave parcels with us for extended times until we are fed up looking at it.

My DH and I are perplexed by this behaviour. As soon as we know a parcel has been left with a neighbour, we rush to collect it. Not just because of the inconvenience to the neighbour but because we want our parcel. Is this an English thing? We are Irish and struggle to understand why people (from our sample of 2) are like this. It's not as if the neighbours aren't there or are working 6am to midnight...they just don't come and get it. Is the expectation that we will deliver it? This thread is timely as I do not understand if it's cultural or laziness.

Boulty · 22/11/2018 16:20

My parents (being retired) had a similar problem with numerous parcels (some quite large) taking up space in their hallway. My (silly) mother used to run around popping them over and complaining to me about how much of a nuisance it was/too heavy for her/bulky etc yet never addressed the neighbour. I had a quick polite word and now they come over the minute they arrive home from work and collect. They still have someone to sign for parcels and parents no longer troubled....

So YANBU but you must communicate the problem with neighbours and let them do the running around or stop taking in their parcels - simples.

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