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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect neighbours to come and collect their missed parcels?

175 replies

DiamondMine · 20/11/2018 16:45

One of our neighbours orders a lot of stuff online (fair enough, so do we) however, they are out all day at work (again, fair enough) DP works shifts so is often around in the mornings when post/ parcels are being delivered. They always ask us to sign for them and then they pop a note through their door.

However, every bloody time they never come over to collect, we always have to bring their parcels round to them. Ive just arrived home from work, DP is at work and obviously signed for some parcels for said neighbours as there are 4 (quite big) boxes here and an ASOS bag.

WIBU to not go back out again tonight in the pissing rain and cold and just wait to see if they bother to come and collect?

AIBU? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind popping people's missed post round on the odd occasion but I’m not bloody Royal Mail and I’m inclined to think if it’s your parcel, it’s your responsibility to collect?

It’s taking up a lot of space in the hallway too Angry

OP posts:
CharltonLido73 · 20/11/2018 19:28

Do they ever take in any parcels for you? If there's no reciprocity, they aren't even very civil towards you and they are expecting you to deliver to their door, I'd quite simply refuse to accept any further parcels on their behalf.

Soconfusedbylife · 20/11/2018 19:34

You might be my neighbour! The delivery driver here tells my neighbour he’s going to post a card but doesn’t. Or he posts one saying left with a neighbour then I have to knock on every door enquiring and it turns out to be 6 doors away.

AGirlinLondon · 20/11/2018 19:36

Our NDN has one of those doorbells where you can see who is at the door from your phone? If he can’t be arsed to come downstairs for his package he just won’t answer - so I discovered I was taking parcels for people who are actually IN their house 😂

MrsChristianTrevelyanGrey · 20/11/2018 19:43

"Whenever I see them I smile and say hello (or try) but they just avoid eye contact or give me a dirty look, get in their car & drive off etc"
^
Op stop taking their stuff in! If they can't be polite and collect them and even acknowledge you then don't do them a favour^

Lwmommy · 20/11/2018 19:44

The couriers might not leave cards, we have some great couriers and some who, if I'm honest, I don't know how theyve survived to adulthood.

Todqy the amazon delivery person didn't knock, posted the parcels through the door, then left a card on the front doorstep, in the pouring rqin saying he had posted them through the letterbox??

I had to pick up the parcels, t o open the door, to find the soaking wet and smudged card???

Other delights round here have been

  • Not leaving a card but updating the online system to say it was with a neighbour, no idea which one
  • Chucking it into next doors back garden when they were on holiday. Why not our back garden?
  • Leaving the parcel in the bin, on top of rotting food
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/11/2018 19:45

Stop accepting for the unfriendly neighbours! A few trips to the sorting office might warm them up.

MonsterTequila · 20/11/2018 20:01

Yabu I think you’re being a bit ott about a non issue. Takes 10 seconds to take their parcel to them- it’s part of being a good neighbour.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t accept their parcels.

CandyCreeper · 20/11/2018 20:05

i really dont think its that common to not get a card tbh. ive never not got one. and i doubt they havent got a card every.single.time!

mundaymoaner · 20/11/2018 20:12

omg i'm guilty of leaving the parcels at other people's houses but it's cos i'm sorting out the kids and they drop them over before i get a chance to go over. i also take in parcels and text my other neighbours to let them know. but we are all friendly so it's fine.... i think ha

StoorieHoose · 20/11/2018 20:16

Take the ASOS bag to them. Knock the door and hand over the parcel and tell them you have more boxes in your hall and now that you have spoke to them they can walk up to yours and get them

And then stop taking in their parcels

Fridaydreamer · 20/11/2018 20:18

First - don’t take any over. You are being a mug. If they don’t collect them after a fortnight put a note through their door while they’re out saying we’ve had parcels here for two weeks, please come collect or we’ll return to sender.

Second - stop accepting parcels for them.

Seriously you are allowing this behaviour so either stop it or you’ve no right to complain.

Jocasta2018 · 20/11/2018 20:31

I was at home a lot and Royal Mail/couriers would try do deliver to me. For awhile I would take parcels in then started to stop - I certainly didn’t take them to their owner. I would accept only for my neighbour’s in the flat upstairs and vice versa.

One guy still used to take the piss though - he’d actually written my address in the delivery instructions in case he wasn’t around. This personally made me feel uneasy so I would accept them.

It was a small one bed flat so space was at a premium. Luckily I had a garage. It was not that close to the flat, I didn’t keep much stuff in it precisely because of this reason plus it used to get quite damp - the garages had been built in the 1980s and weren’t that great. I’d store the parcels in there until he collected them.

Once he realised I wasn’t keeping an eye on them in my cosy flat but in a cold damp garage a street away, my name was removed from his delivery details!

AutumnGlitterBall · 20/11/2018 20:33

DH and I work opposite shifts and the postman comes quite early. He’s clearly cottoned onto the fact that there’s usually someone home and asks us to take parcels in. Took four items in for the bloke across the road last week. I watched the postie put a card through the door. They sat for three days and weren’t collected so I went across at half seven on return from nightshift and woke him up to hand them in. Wasn’t the least bit grateful and I got snash for waking him up (yeah, okay, I did it to be an arsehole but I’m not the sorting office) so that’s the last time I take anything in for him. Everyone else is across the moment they get home!

Stop taking parcels in!

EricTheGuineaPig · 20/11/2018 20:34

Whaaaat?? They're so unfriendly that you don't even feel you can approach them and you're taking their parcels in?? Why?

Nightgremlin · 20/11/2018 20:53

I've been the neighbour that didn't collect - twice.
First time the card just said 'with a neighbour' which is great when I live on the corner of 2 streets...... Knocked on all immediate and the downstairs neighbours - nope. Then contacted Royal Mail and it took 10 days for them to find out which neighbour, it was 9 houses away! They weren't impressed and nor was I.
Second one said they'd left it at number 8 (my number) checked downstairs, nope, checked number 8 on adjoining road, nope. It was at number 6 and they'd had it a few days by the time they came to me.
I tried the same neighbour in the first instance first but wasn't there, they'll dump it wherever here!
I've now taken to putting 'do not leave with neighbours' in additional information and it gets returned to the sorting office and I get it from there.
I don't take in parcels for others after having them for up to a week because of the same issues.
Just refuse to take them in especially if your neighbours aren't very nice towards you.

Amazonian27 · 20/11/2018 22:07

Also sometimes when you get in you are dying for a wee, completely knackered, one of the kids wants something, you get destructed or you don’t want to disturb neighbours at tea time so I don’t always go for parcels right away but I do collect them
Usually within an hour or two of getting home if the neighbours haven’t been round to drop it off first.

ShodAndShadySenators · 20/11/2018 23:09

Other delights round here have been

- Not leaving a card but updating the online system to say it was with a neighbour, no idea which one
- Chucking it into next doors back garden when they were on holiday. Why not our back garden?
- Leaving the parcel in the bin, on top of rotting food

I've had this too.
Card marked "left in designated safe place". I didn't have a safe place, and the parcel was actually left with a neighbour instead. Had no idea. Neighbour eventually asked when the hell I was coming for parcel...
No card left, parcel placed inside a storage container in my back garden. I had contacted the sender and had a replacement parcel sent out in its stead. Had to contact sender again with the news that I'd found it and we went through the rigmarole of returning it. A card saying where it was put would've saved us all that pother.
Parcels placed in wheelie bin. Usually the recycling one but one bright star of a courier thought the garden waste bin the perfect place to leave my goods. Which were - ta-da! live plants.

OP if your neighbours are unfriendly and unhelpful to the person doing them a favour, then stop doing them the favour.

Branleuse · 20/11/2018 23:15

That reminds me, its almost that time of year where i put my "am only available to take items addressed to this address" note on the door. I remember the year i was studying and seemed to become the local sorting office. I took in seven parcels one day.

Leyani · 20/11/2018 23:20

Maybe just talk to them? Say you’re happy to take them in principle but please can they come and collect as soon as convenient as you don’t have the space. See what happens. If it still takes the days then don’t accept them.

I work at home lot so take in a lot more than others but it’s nice to be able to help and know that they’d do the same if they were at home and I wasn’t

bananasandwicheseveryday · 20/11/2018 23:27

We are usually happy to take parcels in for neighbours, just as they do for us. We always collect parcels asap, as long as we've had a card through the door. One, newish neighbour failed to collect a package for over six weeks earlier this year and although I tried to take it to them several times, they were always 'out' (even though we could hear them in the house). We eventually put the parcel back in the post box and now refuse to take in any of their packages. I suggest you do the same.

PickAChew · 20/11/2018 23:30

I will say yes or no to looking after the parcel , depending on the neighbour. One no was a crazy flicker who came and hammered on my door, accusing me of stealing her mail {that I hadn't even received.)

The other was a bit like in the op. After a week I stuffed it in a carrier bag and put it in their back yard, with a note through their letter box.

DNAP · 21/11/2018 00:08

We regularly take in parcels too. One neighbour works from home in her office which is visible from my house, yet she never ever answers her door. That has become my job. In fact they have started just dropping them to our house to avoid wasting time knocking on her door. For a long time the parcels used to pile up uncollected, but now her kids are older, she just sends them to collect instead.
Our other neighbour was a regular non-picker up too, and we still have a 6ft garden equipment box in our garage that was delivered 6 months before they moved. Confused

LondonLassInTheCountry · 21/11/2018 00:17

Dont take the parcels in.

Problem solved.

They are lazy and know that you will take them there

Pinkprincess1978 · 21/11/2018 06:25

We have a neighbour who very kindly takes in parcels for us - but then never opens the door to collect the 😡 one night my son and I between us went knocking 6 times. We could see windows (including the big French windows) open, see the tv on and hear music from a bedroom but no answer. In the end I posted a note through the door and within 15 mins they were round.

gamerwidow · 21/11/2018 06:31

If they’re not even grateful stop doing it. Our neighbour takes in a lot of parcels for us and last year I bought them a Christmas present to say thank you because I’d has so much delivered over the Christmas period.