Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to kick his arse about my dead cat

97 replies

ShouldITellHimToDoOne · 19/11/2018 15:20

I shouldn't even be thinking about this today because I'm upset enough as it is. I have a partner. We don't live together. It's a weekend thing really with a view to it becoming more serious as time goes on.

I text him last night to say that my beloved cat had had a stroke (she had a series of problems) and that it wasn't looking good. I'd been to the emergency vet and brought her home with me after some treatment. I was devestated.

She died in the night. I am beyond sad. He knows what I'm like with that cat and how she meant the world to me.

I texted him this morning with the news after taking her little body to the vets for cremation so I can bring her ashes home to me.

I've had nothing back from him.

He doesn't have a job. He's at home all day sleeping and playing video games.

He wrote off his car last week (no injuries - but is looking for a new one - so I suppose he could be busy with that).

I'm actually past the point of caring, I think. AIBU to tell him to sling his fucking hook? Or would that be an overreaction?

I feel let down by him a lot. He never answers messages or the phone. He won't get a job. He talks about us buying a house together and all the rest of it, but is it too much to ask for a little message to say he's sorry about my cat? To look at his phone more often? To check in on me? He knows I've chucked a wobbler about this so many times in the past... so what's going on?

What would you do?

OP posts:
scatterolight · 19/11/2018 15:23

The lack of compassion over the cat is the least of your problems. He doesn't have a job and plays video games all day? You really need to ask?

End it. Today.

notthiscrapagain · 19/11/2018 15:23

What's going on is that he's a dick. I'm so sorry about your cat ThanksThanks

cheesefield · 19/11/2018 15:25

He sounds like a total waste of space. Why are you with him?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/11/2018 15:25

I'd look after myself and leave him to his games.

I mean, what the fuck are you thinking? Refuses to get a job is enough to make him unfuckable!

krustykittens · 19/11/2018 15:26

Hmmm, a bloke with sits on his arse lalying video games all day, has no job and cannot emphasise with his partner when she is upset? Dump him, OP, now! An I am sorry about your cat. It is heart beaking when a beloved pet dies.

NancyDonahue · 19/11/2018 15:26

So sorry about the loss of your cat Flowers

What are this man's good points exactly? Hmm

TooTrueToBeGood · 19/11/2018 15:26

....with a view to it becoming more serious as time goes on.

Why? From your description of him I can't imagine why on earth you'd want to have a serious relationship with him. He sounds like a waster.

Sorry about your cat.

gamerchick · 19/11/2018 15:26

Sounds like the cherry on top OP. Time to bin.

So sorry about your cat Flowers

AnotherEmma · 19/11/2018 15:27

Sorry for your loss Flowers

Perhaps your cat's parting gift to you was making you realise that you need to dump this loser.

You can do better than a guy with no job who doesn't reply to your messages!

ProfessionallyUnoffended · 19/11/2018 15:30

So sorry about your cat. This man does not sound good enough for you. If he was a friend's partner, what would you think? Probably that she could do better...and so could you. Flowers

apostropheuse · 19/11/2018 15:30

Sorry about your cat Losing an animal is tough.

Obviously you need to dump him as he's a waste of space.

How does her propose buying a house if he isn't working?

Sunnyday1203 · 19/11/2018 15:31

Awww sorry about your little kitty. BF sounds like a tosser, can't do with people who don't like cats. Find new Cat and BF.

FoxBoxRox · 19/11/2018 15:32

He must be Jason Momoas double. I can't see any other reason you would still be interested in him??

Dotty1970 · 19/11/2018 15:32

Sorry about your cat Sad.
On the other hand I don't think you should worry about his reaction to the cat or lack of but worry about the fact he plays videos games and has no job!
How old is he! He sounds like my 14 year old, he sleeps too much, plays video games and doesn't answer his phone or texts... He survives only due to my maternal instinct.. You need to kick this man to the curb

Sisgal · 19/11/2018 15:32

Aw am so sorry about your cat. I know how heartbreaking it is Flowers

MyMumDimensionJumps · 19/11/2018 15:33

Definitely not being unreasonable.

ShouldITellHimToDoOne · 19/11/2018 15:34

Yep. He has good points. When he's around, he's very kind to me and my child.

But, I can't count on him. He is bipolar and so finds it hard to hold down a job, but he is very highly qualified and I think he could find something... or at least do something with his days - charity work.

He's always "going to" do another Masters or "going to get into teaching"... but none of it ever happens.

He has worked for ten months of the three years I've known him. It's online chess rather than video games. So, he's a brainy, over-qualified waster. He's bright and I do get on with him when we're together.

I'm very independent... but I do need a bit more attention than this from someone who is supposed to love me.

I don't feel I can count on him. What usually happens is I chuck a hissy fit, he is more attentive for a while... and then it carries on again.

OP posts:
Sisgal · 19/11/2018 15:35

@sunnyday1203 bit harsh telling OP to get a new cat the morning after her cat died Confused

ShouldITellHimToDoOne · 19/11/2018 15:39

He just sent a message now saying "Oh, poor Birdie. That's so sad. She was so nice. The smallest cat in the world. x"

She was the smallest cat in the world. But for me, this message is eight hours too fucking late. Sorry for the swearing. I'm just cross.

I'm not going to let him make this worse. I will ignore him for today and remember how wonderful my little cat was.

OP posts:
JellieEllie · 19/11/2018 15:40

Awww so sorry for the loss of your little cat ❤️

Your partner sounds like a man child.

Sunnyday1203 · 19/11/2018 15:41

sisgal I did not mean to the flippant sorry. When my cat was killed I was devastated, not making light of it, but def get a new BF ( maybe with a cat? Smile

Sisgal · 19/11/2018 15:42

Go have a good cry over your wee Kitty. Have a nice bath and relax. Your P sounds like a selfish arse

Goldengroveunleaving · 19/11/2018 15:42

No advice about the partner but so, so sorry to hear about your little cat.
Flowers

bengalcat · 19/11/2018 15:43

Get a new cat and dump the man

NoCanoe · 19/11/2018 15:46

Even my usually self absorbed nasty brother comiserated when I lost my cat and gave me support and sympathy/empathy.

I'd take it as an indication as to where you and yours are on his list of priorities.

I'm sorry about your cat. But she clearly much loved and knew she was. So please take comfort from that.
FlowersCakeWine

Swipe left for the next trending thread