International Men’s Day

[Pinkyponkcustard]

I don’t get it! My work is making a big fuss out of this today but it honestly makes me roll my eyes in a company where most of the execs and senior management are men.

Am I missing something?! I thought the whole point of “days” was to talk about improving things/raising the profile of minority groups.

Happy to be educated out of my eye rolling!

Yet you seem dead set against a single day of the year, where we try to challenge the damaging gender norms you hate so much.

Because I don't bloody want it to be just one day. I want people to be challenging, questioning and speaking up for these things every single bloody day.

I want to be able to talk about it without being laughed at, told I'm overreacting, thinking too much into it, called a freak for even challenging these things in the first place, etc (and yes all of these things have happened to me).

Don't see the issue myself.

Because I don't bloody want it to be just one day. I want people to be challenging, questioning and speaking up for these things every single bloody day.

And the way to start that is by small steps. But you will also have to tackle the "everyday is men's day" attitude of various people.

Male victims of DV, more female victims so we win

Yes I'm sure those two women a week who are killed by their partners feel like they're winning.

Seriously, WTF. .

And the way to start that is by small steps

Did you even read the rest of my post?

Because I don't bloody want it to be just one day. I want people to be challenging, questioning and speaking up for these things every single bloody day.

And I want people in Yemen to have enough food to eat, every single day.

It doesn't mean I get angry when an aid convoy delivers food.

How does railing against IMD help your stated aim?

I mean, if one husband, one father, one brother, gets a prostate check because of a poster he saw today, and his life is saved because his cancer gets caught early instead of late.... and then he goes on to tell everyone he knows to get a prostate check... how does this run counter to your stated aim of breaking down gender norms?

If one son, one nephew, one uncle sees a poster about suicide prevention today, and decides to call a hotline instead of hanging himself in his attic... and his mother and father and uncle and aunt get to keep their boy alive instead of attending his funeral.... how does this hurt what you're trying to achieve?

I don't understand why you're so angry about a day that is literally designed to help tackle the problems you're passionate about.

PlantsArePeopleToo

Did you even read the rest of my post?

Yes thanks. So I'm not sure what your issue is with my reply.

I just wish I thought all the people whining about "When is it International Men's Day" on IWD had spent today organising events around men's mental and physical health, support for male victims of violence, work/life balance, the representation of men in caring professions, the pushing of boys into rigid sex stereotypes, toxic masculinity.....But I suspect they haven't

I don't understand why you're so angry about a day that is literally designed to help tackle the problems you're passionate about.

And I don't understand why you're constantly goading an autistic poster who has clearly struggled with mental health issues and has nowhere to turn to.

It might make you feel great and powerful but really it just makes you a bit of a twat.

Of course they haven't BertrandRussell.

They've just spent the day harassing disabled women on the internet instead.

@PlantsArePeopleToo

Can you please find a post of mine where I've expressed anything other than calm, polite disagreement with part (and only part) of your stated position?

I fully agree with you on gender norms.

I fully agree with you on false statistics.

I fully agree with you on idiots using IMD or IWD to gain a platform for their false victimhood.

However I simply don't understand how you can have a hostile position to the concept of IMD as an event, which is how I'm reading your opinion. If I'm wrong, please tell me. This is the only part of your posts that I disagree with.

For the record my sister and my father are both on the spectrum, and your condition has nothing to do with my responses apart from my genuine belief that you have a closer understanding of what it is like to live life as a male than many of the women on this forum. Not once have I insulted or belittled you based on your condition, and if talking to me is causing you genuine distress then I'll simply stop posting. This has nothing to do with my ego, I'm simply putting forward and then defending my point of view in a rational and civil debate. You're also more than welcome to cease posting and unfollow the thread if you feel personally attacked on it.

All of the above being said, having Autism doesn't give you an automatic right to your opinion being unchallenged. You're still an intelligent, probably quite sensible person. As am I. As are most people posting here. Everyone should be prepared to defend their opinion logically, or be happy to be labelled illogical. That's the basic premise behind rational thought and debate.

Fuck me, they already have 364 other days that are theirs.

However I simply don't understand how you can have a hostile position to the concept of IMD as an event, which is how I'm reading your opinion.

Uh, what?

And as soon as you mention your own suicide, I'm out.

Peace.

And it's autism, not Autism.

I said you can have your bloody day!

Because it's terrifying when you are faced with the reality head on.

People say they'll be there but when you have an actual real problem and it's screaming people in the face they suddenly don't care. It's too scary and they run away.

I found it ironic that our Women in Business group organised all the IMD events....

Yabvu, having witnessed the shocking aftermath of male suicide, and having a son that I never ever want to see go through that level of pain and torment, what fucking harm does it do to let that be higlighted? It doesn’t diminish the feminist cause? It is a seperate issue? Because we are women and have suffered opression at the hands of ‘some’ men, doesnt mean that they do not deserve to have their own issues highlighted!! Privilege matters fuck all when a family is destroyed by suicide. This is hugely turning me off to the feminist movement here on mumsnet, if some of you think that diminishing another’s suffering somehow bolsters our own cause?!! Dissapointed doesn’t cover it

Oh and for the record, I have seen the aftermath of female suicide too, one does not cancel the other out because of privilege. The devastation is the same, that I can promise you.

No, Plants. Because this is an internet forum where strangers talk to strangers about topics that they are interested in discussing. If you want to talk about Men's Day then by all means go for it. But we're not talking about that any more, are we?

I'm not running away from you committing suicide. I'm deeply saddened that you feel the way you do. But I didn't join this thread to talk about you and your autism and your pill stash. I joined it to debate Men's health, and to challenge people who think that somehow men who suffer and die are less worthy of sympathy than women who do the same just because of their gender. You've taken the discussion so far away from the original topic I have no interest in taking any further part. I'm deeply weary of being unable to have a polite conversation without you feeling like you're being personally victimised. A criticism of your opinion is not a criticism of you as a person.

For the record, I'm a teacher. I've spent the whole day discussing toxic masculinity with my students, and promoting resistance to harmful gender norms. I do this as a matter of routine regardless. Every time I see sexism in my class, I challenge it. Which only makes me more sad that somehow you feel the need to play the disabled victim card at me. I'm not out to get you.

Have a great rest of the night.

I'm not running away from you committing suicide.

I'm not talking about that.

I mean other people run away.

They say you can talk anytime but that's not true is it?

challenge people who think that somehow men who suffer and die are less worthy of sympathy than women who do the same just because of their gender.

Nobody said they weren't.

OK.