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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to tell. At school due to unexpected absence

94 replies

gg1234 · 19/11/2018 05:29

I woke up with 103 temp and quite shaky at the moment. Hubby is completely bedridden due to spinal pain' child is well not one there to drop him what do I tell at school.

OP posts:
HettySunshine · 19/11/2018 05:31

Is there no way you can drop them in or a least leave with another mum at the school gate? Having a bored child st home isn't going to help you relax and get better.

Original poster
gg1234 · 19/11/2018 05:32

Yes true, have to ask for emergent help thanks

OP posts:
hmmwhatatodo · 19/11/2018 05:42

If you have no one to help then you just all have to stay at home. It isn’t the end of the world.

Monty27 · 19/11/2018 05:46

How old is your child? Can you afford to get a taxi?

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/11/2018 05:50

You’re going to have to stand up to feed/ look after your dc anyway. I’m chronically ill and school runs are often extremely difficult for me. I can categorically tell you it’s easier to drop off and pick up than keep your dc at home. Clothes / coat over nightwear then back to bed.

Devilishpyjamas · 19/11/2018 05:51

How far is school? Dose yourself up and run them in.

What sort of spinal pain does your dh have? If it’s back pain they really don’t suggest lying still with it because it just gets worse & goes into spasm (sorry if I have the wrong end of the stick and he has had major spinal surgery or something).

lovetherisingsun · 19/11/2018 05:51

Oh god, I had to do this once. I didn't trust myself to drive so left early and dragged the three kids (4 yr old and two younger sibling) slowly along the street whilst vomiting into a bag. It was torture.

ivykaty44 · 19/11/2018 05:55

Taxi there and back

SofiaAmes · 19/11/2018 06:04

Seriously...are people telling a mum with 103 temp and feeling shaky to get out of bed to get her dc's to school. What has our world come to? What on earth could be happening at school that is that important that she should feel guilty not taking them?

Please OP, just stay in bed and take care of yourself.

Monty27 · 19/11/2018 06:13

Like said above, get the child to school even using a taxi. And try and get yourself better OP
Not knowing how old etc it's difficult to comment really

Devilishpyjamas · 19/11/2018 06:13

She can’t stay in bed though as she’ll then have a child to look after if they’re at home. Also if it’s a state school there will be loads of hassle for missing a day if she tells them the real reason.

Sirzy · 19/11/2018 06:17

Even if just keeping them off was a wise idea (which it isn’t!) struggling to get them to school and then being able to rest until pick up time is much better than having a day of having to sort the kids!

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/11/2018 06:17

SofiaAmes
If I stayed at home because I felt incapable of taking my dd to school she would hardly ever go to school. Pick up is a nightmare. I have collapsed several times at the school gates. What I’m saying is it’s easier to send your dc to school than to have them at home.

Do calm down. Yes, she feels really shit. Luckily for her it’s only going to last a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. I’ve been like this for years and years.

NearlySchoolTimeAgain · 19/11/2018 06:23

Ask someone for help. It’s early enough to easily be factored in to the morning preparations.

Scrumptiousbears · 19/11/2018 06:30

Id take paracetamol and run DC in.

SofiaAmes · 19/11/2018 06:35

Mummyoflittledragon having a one off illness is not the same thing if you have a chronic illness and therefore presumably a plan in place to get your dc's to school even if you feel like crap. I understand that you've figured out how to power through it and it really sucks to feel like crap every day, but that doesn't mean that everyone else has to feel guilty about not feeling like crap every day. I know what that looks like as my ds has multiple serious chronic illnesses that we have had to make accommodations for and probably the only thing worse than feeling like crap everyday yourself is seeing your child in pain every day and not being able to make it better. But ironically, what I expect him to do when sick is in some ways far more than what I expect my dd to do when she is occasionally sick, because we have a plan for ds and he knows what his limits are because he has to test them every day. Dd just doesn't have the practice or resilience to manage when she's ill. That doesn't make her a bad child, just a less resilient one.

I suspect that the OP will put a plan into place for the next time she's ill.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/11/2018 07:38

SofiaAmes
I’m sorry your ds is ill. I do understand what you’re saying on comparing your children. Of course I have far more resilience than a lot of people because I have to deal with chronic illness on a daily basis. I still had a start point to my disability / illness and had a very young child at the time. I can only tell her she will get more rest if she sends her child to school. 🤷‍♀️

GottaGoGottaGo · 19/11/2018 07:38

How old is you child? If they are under 10 then there is no way I would want them at home if I was ill. I would want to get them off to school. Do you not have a friend / sibling / parent you could call? If not, then I would call a taxi.

GottaGoGottaGo · 19/11/2018 07:42

I've just looked up what 103 is, it's only 39.4. Not pleasant but not deadly. Under those circumstances I would take some paracetamol, have some breakfast and take child to school. The paracetamol and breakfast are likely to ward off the shakes after about half an hour for long enough to get child to school. Then you can spend the rest of the school day relaxing and recovering without child bothering you.

Steelesauce · 19/11/2018 07:42

Just ring another Mum and see if they can help? Most the mums round here rally round if needed.

Dyrne · 19/11/2018 07:44

SophieAmes most people are actually pointing out that if the OP doesn’t take the child to school then she will have to deal with said child at home all day, which will actually be more exhausting...

OP can you call one of the other school mums? Maybe send DC off in a taxi to their house and they can take them in?

NerrSnerr · 19/11/2018 07:48

Do you have a school or class Facebook page or WhatsApp group. I'd post a message on there asking if someone can take them to school. I bet someone would help.

AuntieStella · 19/11/2018 07:49

How old is the DC, and how long have they been at school?

Because I thinkyou should be ringing DC's classmates/friends' parents to see if they can help you out with the school run (less easy if it's the first term in a new school and you know people less well, but still worth asking anyone who looks halfway friendly)

You will get better rest if you are not having to look after a child.

Also, as your DH is bed-bound, what are the emergency arrangements for his care? If you have none other than crossed fingers, it might be worth, when you are better, thinking a bit about what you need to have in place should you be suddenly totally unavailable (say 48 hours in hospital with appendicitis and very limited for several days after that).

Original poster
gg1234 · 19/11/2018 08:01

Thank you all my fever went down its 101 now hso now I am. Drooping dc to school. Its just a 10 min run from. Home.morever I think it's a better decision as we both have to attend Gp appointment today and with ds at home. We would be stuck I presumely have bacterial flu for which I need antibiotics. Have a nice day

OP posts:
EmeraldVillage · 19/11/2018 08:07

Flu is viral not bacterial

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