....to go on strike???!!!

[barney2]

I'm tired, exhausted, fed up, surrounded by loads of housework, never get 5 minutes to myself anymore, have two lovely kids that are permanently on my back, a lovely dh who can't understand why I'm so done in all the time, I'm only 39 and I'm going grey already, I've got saggy boobs, saggy arse and generally saggy all over and I HATE IT!!!!

Help!!

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Thanks to everyone.

I do try to spend time on 'me'. I love to have a soak in the evenings and as I've said before I like to go to bed with a book etc.

And yes I live in the same old clothes - whatever is easiest to put on normally - jeans/t-shirts etc - gone are the days when I'd wear a pretty long skirt or a nice pair of boots. For one I don't have the spare money to spend on clothes for me but also, in an odd sort of way, feel guilty for buying anything for me because I do so few hours at work I don't want to spend what money we have on me. I've been known to receive gift vouchers for M&S for my birthday and spend the lot on something for the kids.

Anyway must go...have got tea to sort out before dd2 falls asleep on the sofa and, as a result, cause mayhem during the evening when she'll be really difficult and tetchy!

Barney, you are being too self-sacrificial. If YOU feel dreary etc, it will rub off on the family, including your dh. Spend something on yourself. If someone gives you vouchers, they are for YOU. Never mind that you only work a few hours. You need to start feeling good about yourself. Be selfish - like me !!!

Don't iron! Buy yourself a pretty summer frock! Hang the housework! There are some nice things in the cheaper shops like Primark, charity shops, etc. Treat yourself! Please!

Can I make a suggestion? You say that you don't have any time for you? well, timetable it- look at what you need to do the evening before ,for the next day, timetable it- by the half hour- and block out some time for you. Unless you physically do this, the day will disappear. You need to give yourself time in the same way that you give time to the ironing, cleaning etc etc.
You need to accept that evenings are hectic for all parents- but if you slot in some you time earlier in your day, you won't feel so fed up.
And don't be a martyr- if you earn a bit of money, put some away for buying a few new clothes - why on earth should you feel guilty?
It's all about a change of attitude- change that and it will seem a lot better -promise!

anyone fancy doing my ironing tonight? i want to strike too

Sparkles....I would offer to do your ironing but I've been told not to!!

ah it was worth a go

I can add to your pile if you like??!!!

lol - no way my 4 DC's generate enough for anyone! I hate ironing and normally end up drinking nearly a bottle of wine whilst doing it Poor DP's shirts sometimes come out a bit funny

you could take strike action but you would probably still find the iron pile the same and still have everything to do, arrange to go out for lunch or something with a friend, go out for a walk or a trip to the libray on your own,

Lots of stuff:

1. You're doing too much. I work 4 days a week and I still make sure I have time for me and with DH. Start looking at what you can get away with not doing round the house. Are you doing too much washing? Does everything in the ironing pile need ironing? My ironing is now up to my waist and it's just going to have to stay that big for now because I want to go and drink wine with DH. And if he wants to talk to me, the TV goes off. If I want to talk to him, the same.

2. Talk to DH until he listens - tell him it's no bloody use telling you just to go out if he doesn't help to make that happen. And what does HE think about not going out with you for 6 years?

3. Get mercenary. Make friends with someone who can have your kids and you can have hers, etc.

4. Go and buy some new stuff - a top and some earrings or something, doesn't have to be expensive.

Do it bit by bit. You sound overwhelmed.

hi barney, you sound just like me. i have now trained my self to say no or just dont offer if anyone takes advantage of me. everyone used to because i never said no. i dont bath my dd every night, no bedtime story either im afraid as it extends bedtime by 45 mins, im lucky i do have a cleaner twice a week but im still behind on everything.i try and prioritise as much as poss .try and not think you have to do everything, what do you all do at the weekends? every month for a weekend i force dh to help me with things that need doing, nwe just about keep on top of things,you have to do something or you will go into meltdown.

Hiya all.

Weekends are typically very busy - I work Saturday mornings and dh works Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings....he also works all week and is often away at night too.

TBH there isn't a lot of difference with weekdays and weekends - they all roll into one big day!

I do try to leave jobs around the house and I have made a special effort to sit down a bit more today - like now! It's still been a very busy day today though - loads of running around - in and out that front door I don't know how many times.

I told my dh this evening that I could really do with a break - and he just got up and walked out the room complaining he was hungry and what was for tea? I told him I wasn't particularly hungry so he just dived into the biscuit barrel instead - how helpful is that?

It's in my nature to help people too - I've always been like that. Just before my Dad died 18mths ago he told his neighbour (who told me just after he died) that he'd commented that out of the three kids he had I was the one who helped out the most and what a kind warm hearted girl I am - he never told me this but he pretty much summed up what I'm like. What he failed to mention is that I'm also a doormat!!

Hi Barney, how are you today? Perhaps when h was hungry wasn't the best time to talk to him - though I'd have been sorely tempted to go on strike there & then! Perhaps try to sit him down after dinner and the kids are in bed, and stress how seriously down you feel. I had a session with dp after a party on Saturday night - got rather tearful (too much wine) but dp took my point & fixed dinner last night.

And we came home to find dd had done the washing up for the first time in her life !!!