To not want my mil to smack my children

[watsmyname]

My mil looks after my children 2 days a week while I work. I am very grateful for this

It has always been known that I don't smack my children. I was smacked as a child as was my husband. IMO it's hard to tell a child not to hit if that's how they are being disciplined.

My lb has told me this evening granny wasn't nice to him and hit him on the bottom with a wooden spoon. He said he didn't cry so I imagine it wasn't too hard.

Aibu to ask her not to smack them but to discipline in another way.

Don't leave your children with her ever again.

I don't have kids but yes if I did and they were naughty they would 100% get a smack.

You don't have to leave your kids with your MIL, as I say, give up your free childcare is you don't want your kids disciplined.

She used a spoon to hit your child with??? I'd be reporting her to the police!!!

MakeAHouseAHome as you can see from my previous post I’m not completely anti smacking but there are plenty of other ways to discipline without smacking.
You might find you feel differently if you do have childcare.
In your position OP I would absolutely be looking for alternative childcare because there would be no way my children would want to go back.

There are methods of discipline that don't involve slapping. It isn't a great tool to use tbh and is lazy parenting. You obviously don't have kids if you think smacking is the answer

@MakeAHouseAHome does that mean if for example you worked where I do, and you did something wrong I could give you a clout?

OP has not even found out what actually happened yet. We have minimal information..and you're all going batshit.
How old is the child?
We're they playing game?
Was mil angry?
Why did she 'smack' ?
No one knows the real facts yet.

@MakeAHouseAHome

We Scotland is making it illegal to smack children at all, and the rest of the UK will likely follow, so hopefully that will put a stop to this attitude of it being acceptable.

It is physical abuse. You wouldn't hit an adult who did something wrong, so why hit a child? It's just used by adults who lose control of their own behaviour and lash out.

Plenty of things Scotland do that we don't follow suit in (thankfully....). Nanny state dictating how parents can disipline their kids!!

Thankkfully, "nanny state" already dictates that you can't hit a child with an implement, nor can you hit somebody else's child.

So the poor excuse for a grandmother in the OP has already broken the law.

So you think it's ok to use an implement to hit a child....ok then

Considering it's being supported bu English and Welsh MPs it's likely, thankfully.

I'd rather the 'nanny state' intervened in poor parenting and abuse of children.

No, MIL shouldn't have done that and you need to tell her!

But to the OP who said A MIL should it discipline at all is wrong. If left in charge then of course discipline comes down to them! It just doesn't need to be draconian.

Many years ago (many) using a wooden spoon or a belt was acceptable means of discipline but no more. As someone else posted, it’s actuay illegal now.

I totally agree with PP about a calm discussion concerning discipline, use other methods and also let mil know what she is going is illegal, will not be tolerated. Additionally. Should she feel the need to do so again, and does, last she will be seeing your dc

You have every right to whack your MIL across the face with a wooden spoon.

DO IT. Also, film it, and then upload it to youtube, twitter, AND facebook!

Even if your children were poorly behaved, they shouldn't be hit as punishment. If she couldn't cope with them she should have ended the childcare agreement with you. Based on what your son said, it sounds like this isn't the first time that this has happened. I'd be finding alternative childcare and have your MIL only see the kids when you or your husband is there.

I'd lose my shit if my MIL did that.

@Ceecee18

It is physical abuse. You wouldn't hit an adult who did something wrong, so why hit a child? It's just used by adults who lose control of their own behaviour and lash out.

This. ^ Also, it proves what a shit parent you are if you have to resort to physically assaulting your small child to try and keep them in line.

Poor parenting at best, child abuse at worst.

I’d be straight round to her house to find out exactly what happened and if she had indeed hit him I would be furious. She would never ever babysit again and quite honestly I think I’d find it difficult to have any kind of a relationship with her at all. I can completely understand why you feel sick even at the thought of it. Your poor DS, how horrible for him to be assaulted by someone who is supposed to love and protect him 😢

So the poor excuse for a grandmother in the OP has already broken the law

Except you don't know what really happened yet.
A while ago, my 6 year old grandson told my dil I made him eat his lunch in the shed. I didn't. We had been talking about me having picnics in my dad's shed when I was a kid.

You have every right to whack your MIL across the face with a wooden spoon

Actually,....she doesn't have that right.

OP, once the competitive outrage involving a "weapon", the police, total NC and cutting MIL's hands off has simmered down, you might want to find out exactly what happened - personally I liked KM99's suggestion at the start of the thread

FWIW I'm another who disagrees with smacking and never did it, but before making any rash decisions I'd want to go into this calmly and much more deeply

Based on what your son said, it sounds like this isn't the first time that this has happened

Really? What did he say to make you think that?

i was smacked as a child as was my husband

Yet neither of you thought to have this conversation with mil before allowing her to do the childcare?

Times have changed. Gone are the times it was ok to hit children. She needs to be told that