AIBU primary teacher branding granddaughter racist

[midlifediva]

AIBU I am fuming, grand daughter was told off by her teacher and called racist, she is only 8. A child in her class siad her new hair style was horrible and made her look poor, she retaliated by saying at least I am not Russian. (the other child is Russian) She was punished by her teacher and marked as racist in some "bad mark book" The other child was not punished. She then cried and when her friends tried to comfort her they were also punished. She is good at school, works hard and is frequently praised for her kindness to others. This new teacher has overstepped the mark IMHO..

Yes of course it is reasonable to clarify what happened. But if it is reported correctly, then the teacher was in the wrong not to take both insults seriously.

PS why is it relevant that the teacher is new?
Are you saying her previous teacher would let comments like that go?

Where has she picked up the idea that there is a problem with being Russian ?

I think the teacher was wrong for not 'punishing' both kids. The other kid started it by making an equally prejudiced remark (saying OP's GDD looked 'poor') but class-based discrimination isn't listed on the Official Handbook Of Bad Words.

Yabu - racist remark! Of course she was going to get called out on it

Your granddaughters parents can go and discuss it with school if they are not happy about how the situation has been dealt with. Anyone going in fuming and talking about someone being branded a racist is not going to help matters.

Those comments clearly have stemmed from family attitudes. I know I’d be much more weary of a racist family than if a snobby one, and I’ve been a target of both.

When my eldest son was in school he was attacked by another boy. He was jumped on by this boy who said "take this you white bastard" as he punched him. My son punched him back and said "take this you black bastard." This whole incident was witnessed by several members of staff, who obviously broke it up.

My son was excluded for a week for racism. The other boy, who happily admitted to starting the fight, did not receive any punishment. The school said they had no choice but to deal with things in this manner.

Of course, what the OP's GD has reported to her GM, and what actually happened, in total, might not be the same thing..

But both 'reported' comments are odd things for 8 yr olds to say

The most likely scenario is that the school has a policy for comments about children's race/nationality but not about their hair. Rightly or wrongly.
It probably also went something like this:
"you've got shit hair, it makes you look poor"
"at least I'm not Russian"
Teacher "give over the pair of you, child B, your comment was extremely inappropriate and you're going in the naughty book"

What does poor hair look like incidentally?

@sweetmelissa1943
What is mumset coming to used to be a welcoming parents forum.
So many racists on boards now

Insults about being poor is much more than snobbery.

midlifediva
Her punishment took place in front of the whole class, the other child was not punished in front of the class as she was.

So both have been punished, your gripe is now that your DgD was told off in front of the class.

I believe dgd only retaliated with her comment because the other child is Russian and it was all she could think of to say in that split second. My issue isnt if she is racist. She made an unkind remark in retaliation to an unkind remark and she was punished, the other child wasnt. I work somewhere that supports vistims of HATE crime. Hate crime is prejudice against a race or social group. Calling someone poor is just as bad as being racist and should have been dealt with equally. Perhaps someone can tell me if the schools/LEAs have to report Hate incidents as well?

My ds1 was recorded in the racist incident log when he was 4. He has autism and was going through a phase of calling everyone and everything "poo-head". Inevitably he ended up calling a black child "poo-head" and the reception teacher recorded it as a racist incident.

I was very upset at the time. But it's not hard to see why racism has to be recorded and monitored in schools. And this little girl's comment is worrying, I would be wondering where she got it from and why it was her go-to insult.

No, my gripe is the other child was not punished at all.

Op, did the teacher ask your granddaughter why she said this? Because if the teacher did then your granddaughter could have explained about seeing the news article. The situation could have been dealt with by having a discussion with both girls about being kind to each other.

I believe dgd only retaliated with her comment because the other child is Russian and it was all she could think of to say in that split second

It’s a very bizarre remark to say in a split second. I do wonder where she’s picked these attitudes up.

GDG has been - rightly - punished. You don’t know whether the other girl has. I think you need to spend less time being concerned about that, and more time about ensuring DGD doesn’t use ethnicity as a negativity again.

Nationality comes under the heading of 'race' for the purpose of definition, and discipline in schools.

To those of you inclined to split hairs...

The situation could have been dealt with by having a discussion

It has to be recorded

One is protected by law - the other isn't

@midlifediva
If you work with victims of hate crimes you should know how important it is that your granddaughter refrains from making bigoted remarks

The first comments aren't hate crime. The second one is a hate incident.

So didn’t she retaliate because it was all she could think of in that moment, or because she was making a link to the Salisbury poisonings?

Come on OP, be consistent.

Somewhere along the way (I don’t know where - from her family maybe?) this girl has got the idea of insulting people based on their race/ethnicity/nationality.

A natural spontaneous dig back for an insult about hair would be about their hair - or similar physical attribute, their coat maybe, or shoes.

It’s not the norm to home straight in on nationality.

As others have pointed out, schools are only legally required to record racist bullying. We can quibble whether it meets the definition of 'racist' (the Equality Act includes nationality under the protected characteristic of race) but from the school's perspective it's likely best to err on the side of caution.

I agree that both children should ultimately have been told off.

The poor hair thing is also a bit of a red herring- because we don't know if the grandchild is poor or not. The other child said her hairstyle made her look poor. It's a shit comment, but it is nowhere in the same league as criticising a Russian child for being Russian. And it's disingenuous to compare the two.