AIBU primary teacher branding granddaughter racist

[midlifediva]

AIBU I am fuming, grand daughter was told off by her teacher and called racist, she is only 8. A child in her class siad her new hair style was horrible and made her look poor, she retaliated by saying at least I am not Russian. (the other child is Russian) She was punished by her teacher and marked as racist in some "bad mark book" The other child was not punished. She then cried and when her friends tried to comfort her they were also punished. She is good at school, works hard and is frequently praised for her kindness to others. This new teacher has overstepped the mark IMHO..

OP - how do you know the other girl wasn’t reprimanded or dealt with as per the behaviour system in place at the school?

Disgusting comment made by your DGD. In your position I'd be mortified and would have a good long chat with DGD about racism, and also how to be assertive without being offensive.

I should have clarified, yes the remark she made is technically racist and wrong and she needed to be told that, my issue was the reaction of the teacher seems extreme and unbalanced as other child was not punished and had started the issue with the "poverty shaming" comment. No idea why she said what she did, she is not racist at all. When asked she talked about the russian men in the news who poisoned people. IMHO both children should have been sat down and spoken to and the teacher could have explained why both comments were not appropriate.

IMHO both children should have been sat down and spoken to and the teacher could have explained why both comments were not appropriate

How do you know the other girl wasn’t spoken to?

Schools have to record racist incidents

If someone had said that to my half Russian children I’d want them punished.

And if one of your half Russian children had told another child her hairstyle was rubbish and made her look poor, I hope you'd want your child punished too.

Personally I think "at least I'm not Russian" is an odd thing for an 8 year old to say.

If the child is from a household where the news is on frequently, and she hears no other discussion of Russia, or positive cultural things like ballet (given these are 8 year old girls), it is possible she associates Russia with wrongdoing.

The school should not be letting go "makes you look like a poor person" even if it isn't subject to statutory recording.

AIBU primary teacher branding granddaughter racist

I should have clarified, yes the remark she made is technically racist and wrong and she needed to be told that

Right, so you seem to have answered your own question, then!

At only 8 years old, I would say both comments are indicative of the homes they both come from.

Both are derogatory, and both comments wouldn’t naturally come from 8 year old children without background influence.

I am more inclined to feel sad that either girl made these comments to each other to begin with, and what they are hearing at home that compelled them to.

Technically it’s not racist as Russian is not a race. Not nice to say but sound like she was retaliating so I think both should be punished

Her punishment took place in front of the whole class, the other child was not punished in front of the class as she was. Of course it is possible they were spoken to at a later time but as the last class of the day and had trotted off quite happy, it seems very unlikely.

How do you know what happened to other child.

Yes racist . It is now an important discussion to have with dgc about how to resolve conflict and how completely unacceptable her comment was

The insult about poverty is awful. As a kid who came from a poor family, I know this stuff really affects you.
I assume she said - at least I'm not Russian - as the first insult she could think of i.e. pick on some feature about the other kid. Unless she has been brought up to be anti Russian, it could just as easily have been - at least I don't have long hair.

I get where PP’s are coming from, but she’s 8. It’s not helpful just to brand her a racist. She should have been taught - quite sternly - that what she did was wrong and made to apologise. But just calling her a racist is unhelpful.

Even though only 8yrs old it is still a comment which your DGD should not have used,this wilol be recorded and the record will follow her through out her school years.
The other girl involved should have been reprimanded about her comments also.

It's not racist. Russian is not a race. It was a pretty nasty thing to say, though (as was the initial 'poor' comment). They should both have been chastised.

^ will ^ apologies.

The school had to record the remark in "the book."

But just calling her a racist is unhelpful.

But no one did?

The Russian thing isn't totally unsurprising as so much is in the news.

When my ds was junior school there was a high profile case of a footballer and rape and another student told him he was going to be raped by me when he got home.

Terrible terrible comment that neither my ds or the boy truly understood the full implications of.

I, however, made it clear to the HT it was time for him to do some educating about appropriate language.

But education and punishment are different things and are best applied together.

Russian is a nationality, not a race.

Of course the teacher has to draw a very hard line and make it incredibly clear racism is unacceptable. Your GD made a racist comment. It may well be the case that she herself is not racist but her behaviour certainly was racist. Children, even very nice children, say all sorts of things some of which are 100% unacceptable. They learn what is or isn't acceptable according to the reaction they get when they say this. Given your GD is a well behaved, kind girl, presumably she will now know disparaging marks about people's country of origin are unacceptable and won't repeat them.

Really the fact that your GD is hard working and well behaved normally is irrelevant. On this occasion she didn't react appropriately and has been punished accordingly. If I were you I would empathise with my GD that the other girl was unkind and she may well not have realised how serious her retort was but I would emphasise that it was unacceptable and stress she mustn't repeat it or similar.

As other posters have said the school are obliged legally to record the remark in the way they have. They're also always going to come down heavily on anything like that to stamp it out.

The child who described one of mine as "the girl with the chocolate colour face" when trying to point out the child that had kicked her was also recorded as making a racist comment. Schools have no leeway (and they panicked so much I had to remind them to punish my DD!).

They should have told off the other child, but your child needs to speak to your grandchild to explain why comments like that are completely unacceptable.

But just calling her a racist is unhelpful

Nobody did just that. The school has to follow the guidelines on situations like this and recorded the remark appropriately.