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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU primary teacher branding granddaughter racist

257 replies

midlifediva · 17/11/2018 17:14

AIBU I am fuming, grand daughter was told off by her teacher and called racist, she is only 8. A child in her class siad her new hair style was horrible and made her look poor, she retaliated by saying at least I am not Russian. (the other child is Russian) She was punished by her teacher and marked as racist in some "bad mark book" The other child was not punished. She then cried and when her friends tried to comfort her they were also punished. She is good at school, works hard and is frequently praised for her kindness to others. This new teacher has overstepped the mark IMHO..

OP posts:
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5
Aeroflotgirl · 17/11/2018 17:45

Why was the other girl not punished for that nasty remark. Yes your dd said what she said and should be told that it is not acceptable, but the other girl should not have been nasty in the first place. How is your dd going to learn, if she is punished for her remark, and the other girl is not.

DameFanny · 17/11/2018 17:46

A teen who is white British but was born and raised for formative years abroad was told by a black kid in school to go back to where they came from. Kid replied "I could say the same to you".

Well this is also racist - to assume that the black kid wasn't born here because of his skin colour. Have a word with yourself youarenotkiddingme

cariadlet · 17/11/2018 17:48

Russian is a nationality, not a race.

True, but the whole concept of race is questionable and this was clearly a racist remark. As others have said, teachers have a legal duty to record racist incidents and schools have a legal duty to keep records and report to their LEA.

However, the other child's poverty-shaming comments are awful and started the whole incident.

Aridane · 17/11/2018 17:49

Child 1 made a mean and spiteful comment (about appearance and social class). Child 2 responded in kind (about race).

Aeroflotgirl · 17/11/2018 17:50

If I were your granddaughter's parent', I would inform the school that I hope that the other girl is going to be disciplined for making a poverty shaming and nasty remark.

Monestasi · 17/11/2018 17:51

I have two daughters. Multi-cultural backgrounds, several languages and living in a country that I wasn’t born in.

I’ve never heard of anything like this before. My girls come home with usual gripes about what other girls have said etc. But never attacks on social or ethnic backgrounds. I simply can’t imagine either being able to attack someone based on economics or nationality. They aren’t raised this way.

My point is that both girls made comments that didn’t naturally come from them. Not at 8.

This is the issue, not the punishment. Which I think shouldn’t have been only assigned to one of them. An example should have been made of both.

Jesus, they are only 8. This is not of their doing.

abacucat · 17/11/2018 17:51

I would be kicking up a fuss about nothing happening about the poverty shaming insult.

Greensleeves · 17/11/2018 17:52

It could and should have been a teaching moment for both children. Sadly there just isn't the time for much personal and social education for children at the moment. i don't think punishment would help, a constructive conversation about why we resort to insults and the effects those insults have on others would have been better imo. But if there was going to be punishment, it should have been applied to both girls.

Yes, the teacher does have to record it as a racist incident. But this doesn't need to be brought to the attention of the children.

RomanyRoots · 17/11/2018 17:53

It's not racist, Russia is a not a race.

LinoVentura · 17/11/2018 17:54

From having worked in a number of primary schools I know of 2 incidents that were extremely racist that were not reported anywhere. And as Russian is not a race it could be argued that reporting this incident was unnecessary. (Personally I wouldn't have bothered.)

What is obvious is that the original comment and the retaliation were both wrong and deserved equal consequences. That this didn't occur suggests to the children that the former was of less or no importance. Not a good message to send.

ButchyRestingFace · 17/11/2018 17:55

Personally I think "at least I'm not Russian" is an odd thing for an 8 year old to say.

Agreed. Sounds like she's somehow formed quite a negative view of Russians.

The other kid's remarks were deeply nasty too. All in all, very unpleasant exchange.

Sethis · 17/11/2018 17:55

You don't have enough information to be having a go at the teacher.

All you have is your daughters word for it.

Lessons learned. Next time someone insults you, roll your eyes or say something clever back at them. Not a slur on ethnicity or nationality.

puzzledlady · 17/11/2018 17:55

Confused what’s wrong with being Russian? Both should have been punished. At 8 I’m surpised your granddaughter would even say that. Where has she heard it from?

MissMarplesKnitting · 17/11/2018 17:59

It was meant as a slur. It's xenophobic, rather than racist but that's semantics.

What's more important is BOTH kids spike inappropriately and with an intended to hurt.

You won't know whether the other kid was punished but concentrate on dealing with the child in your family and sort out her attitude to others.

abacucat · 17/11/2018 17:59

Very saddened at how many on this thread do not seem to realise the impact on kids of being insulted for being poor.
Have to say it was the same when I was a kid.

LinoVentura · 17/11/2018 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 17/11/2018 18:01

And it’s jokes like that that make this attitude ok. Dick.

JacquesHammer · 17/11/2018 18:02

Very saddened at how many on this thread do not seem to realise the impact on kids of being insulted for being poor.
Have to say it was the same when I was a kid

Has anyone said that? Most people have said both comments deserved dealing with.

However (a) we only have - I assume - the granddaughter’s word that the other child wasn’t dealt with. I absolutely wouldn’t go in “all guns blazing” demanding punishment. It would be reasonable to request a meeting with the teacher for clarification surrounding the incident. And (b) the remark surrounding being poor isn’t one that is required to be noted in the same way.

LinoVentura · 17/11/2018 18:02

No one in their right mind thinks that the comment in question was ok, and my last post is not going to change that.

abacucat · 17/11/2018 18:07

Jacques No most people have not said that. And if the other kid was told off for insult about poverty, then the class did not know about that. The insults have not both been taken as seriously by the school.

JacquesHammer · 17/11/2018 18:08

And if the other kid was told off for insult about poverty, then the class did not know about that

How do you know Confused

Hence why I said it was reasonable to request a meeting with the teacher to get clarification as to the outcome of the incidence, not just hearsay.

JacquesHammer · 17/11/2018 18:09

No most people have not said that

Go back and read the thread. There are many posts to that effect.

Northernparent68 · 17/11/2018 18:09

What do the parents think ?

Ghanagirl · 17/11/2018 18:09

@youarenotkiddingme
I don’t believe you because you’ve posted racist crap before

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 17/11/2018 18:10

What are your grand-daughter's parents going to do, OP?

They might also find the account isn't quite as your granddaughter has told it if they go into school and ask.

I would have told child A off for making stupid comments about hairstyles, and child B off for making nasty comments about other children's nationalities.

Both interjections from 8 yr olds sound extremely bizarre. The first because very few 8 yr olds I have ever known would ever make a connection between a certain hairstyle and economic status, the second because she's been told by somebody that being Russian is a bit shit.