To wonder which fictional boarding school you'd like to have attended?

[Clothrabbit]

For me, Malory Towers. I still love those books and always enjoy reading about the outdoor pool, Gwendoline's misdemeanours, and Mamzelle's eccentricities.

Yes, the St Clare’s/Malory Towers books had such ridiculous stereotypes in them...
All American girls are obsessed with their hair, makeup and films.
All French girls are prissy and never play sports, don’t understand why the English love sports, and spend all their time sewing instead.

A sewing class has started in my French village and all my (65-75) year old friends are signing up as they don't know how to sew. 😀
I don't think any of them went to boarding school though....

Now I want to read Masha, and the Youngest Lady-in-Waiting - but the only copies available start at £65 and get rapidly more expensive. Such a shame that books like this which are so well-loved fall out of print.

Was it the Chalet where everyone is supposed to have cold baths or, if they are seriously lacking in moral fibre, chill off? Definitely not for me. I'd have liked the Malory Towers pool and seaside location, but not sure I could stand the focus on hearty games.

Not a full time school, but I guess the closest is Madame Fidolia's. That would of course be on the basis that I was a brilliant dancer/actress/singer, natch.

Yes - the Chalet School was the cold bath one! Maybe EM Brent-Dyer had heard about Gordonstoun?

Religious fervour at Chalet School? Urgh. The languages bit sounds good, though.

Alicia from MT was horrible. The way she behaved over the pantomime would have made me want to slap her. June was very very similar. But they were OK as they were super-intelligent.

The religion and the cold baths are definitely off-putting, but the cakes....

St Clare's or Mallory Towers for me.

But I am intrigued at the Real Life St Trinians in Edinburgh. Never heard of it despite living here all my life.

Trebizon would be my preferred actual school. They seemed nice (and modern, boyfriends allowed!).
My fave series was/still is Kingscote. I still have them (and trebizon which take all of 45 mins to read each one) though sold all my chalets (then rebought, then resold)
Wish we did have a Terbizon in 6th form book, the author is still alive i think so maybe it will happen!

I'm so happy to see Masha and The Youngest Lady In Waiting mentioned!

I absolutely adored them in my earlier teens (still do). I read them so many times. My school library had both, hardback with lovely illustrations. I so wish I'd kept them and never returned them to the school library. I bet they just got thrown out at some point when stock was renewed.

I got Masha in paperback when it was reprinted but it's not the same as the lovely hardback 😬

Yes Madame Fidolia's would be good. Does Sadlers Wells count? I would be kind to Veronica and not hide her tights.

Hogwarts without a doubt, even now I dream about it 😀

Lossie Laxton!

I wonder if Enid Blyton had anyone specific in mind?

When I was older I definitely wanted to go to Marcia Blaine School and be taught by Miss Jean Brodie.

There's a movie called "Spud" which is based on the first in a four-book series set in a boarding school. (John Cleese plays a teacher.)

The author based the school on one he went to, which was related to one I went to. So in a sense, I can say I've been to my fictional school.

Someone once asked me how accurate the portrayal was, I said it packed in more incidents, but the nature of the incidents was spot on, I could imagine them all actually happening. Mostly the routine violence, the "lord of the flies" atmosphere where no adults were directly involved in supervising daily life. For example new juniors being stuffed in a metal trunk and sent sliding down the stairs. Not that that actually happened in my school, but it's the sort of thing that would have happened, if the trunks hadn't been stored away before anyone got round to it.

@Firesuit, was Spud set in South Africa? I'm sure I read a boarding school book with that name but it was in SA rather than UK. A kid died of malaria IIRC.

I think the movies might be available for download for those with a Sky cinema subscription. (Despite any impression to the contrary I may have given, they are supposed to be comedies.)

www.sky.com/tv/movie/spud-2010
www.sky.com/tv/movie/spud-2-the-madness-continues-2013
www.sky.com/tv/movie/spud-3-learning-to-fly-2014

It was set in South Africa.

Yep. Chalet School is cold baths. Although would you not just run it warmish & then run a dash of cold over the bottom of the tub when you're done, so bloody Mary Lou or Len or which ever junior saint bounced in afters wouldn't rumble you. Clearly whatever was in the kaffe und kuchen also stopped periods as I refuse to believe no one ever just ran their bath hot to relieve cramps! I have circulation problems so would have been chill off.

Would need a sex-change but would also love to experience Carne, the public school from "A Murder of Quality" by John Le Carre. Although you could go as a school spouse, which may be a more curious tradition. Perhaps, as a Chaletian, I could marry a nice young master whom I came across on an alpine walk/visit to san/via an old chaletian/delete as appropriate and go back to Carne with him as a Masters wife. Hopefully not to be sneered at by scary Shane Hecht or double crossed by secretly evil Stella Rhode.

I never wanted to go to any fictional ones as I went to a real one IRL and it was fucking awful.

[misses point of thread]

HumphreyCobblers

Hope that’s not a lasting injury, sounds nasty...

Assuming your Google turned up that Elinor Brent-Dyer taught at a school in the town (or is it a city, have they a cathedral?). And the Green Dragon Hotel gets mentioned in the books...

I live in London & was always fascinated by the idea of the “boat train” from Victoria Station.

I went on the "boat train" from Victoria in

Bash Street.

Except that it wasn't a boarding school. Sorry, been awake for hours.

...the sixties. I remember once that it was very rough and full of public school chaps going skiing who were saying "would you mind awfully passing me a sick bag?"
Apologies for split post. This is a Mumsnet ipad problem that still hadn't been fixed.