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Original poster

To think he doesn't realise I fancy him?!

79 replies

Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:05

There's a guy at work that I really fancy. I've been dropping lots of hints but ge never seems to act on them but never backs off or encourages me to back of either. I think he might be attracted to me but just be totally unaware of my signs. Have you ever met a guy like this who really needs it spelling out and who doesn't pick up on hints? I think I'm being reasonably clear but maybe not. I know that the other glaringly obvious answer is that he's just not that keen...but my 6th sense is telling me he is. I would really appreciate your thoughts please.

OP posts:
paintinmyhairAgain · 15/11/2018 22:07

ask him out, just go for it he'll either say yes or no, men run the risks of rejection so can we Smile

Cherries101 · 15/11/2018 22:07

A lot of men don’t notice the attentions of the women they don’t fancy.

JudasPrudy · 15/11/2018 22:08

In my experience if a bloke fancies you he will pursue you whether you send him signals or not.

Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:09

paintinmyhairAgain the last guy I asked out said no (6 years ago) and so did the previous one (7 years ago). So I'm feeling twice bitten, thrice shy! I don't want to make a fool of myself.

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Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:10

Cherries101, this is true. But he's always there. Always texting me. Always seeking me out. But never giving me a proper sign.

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Scientistic · 15/11/2018 22:11

'Have you ever met a guy like this'

He's downstairs

Told him I fancied him after a sustained flirting programme and he said 'YOU fancy ME?' He was oblivious.

Cherries101 · 15/11/2018 22:11

I would personally stop flirting and see if his behaviour changes.

Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:12

JudasPrudy, ha! Yes. But he did tell me about a previous crush and he said it was only years later that he realised that she was actually giving him some signs.

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Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:12

Scientistic, oooh! Please tell me more!!!

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Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:13

Cherries101, what do you think the options might be in that scenario?

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Scientistic · 15/11/2018 22:15

I was so obviously giving off signals. He thought I was just friendly. We are married with several children and have been a long time.

To be honest I just thought f* it I've either got to get on with this or move on, so let's see if he's interested. Seems he was, and was just pretty shy around women, even though he didn't give off that impression.

chumbal · 15/11/2018 22:17

Ask him or you will never know Wink

Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:18

Scientistic that's a lovely story and gives me hope!

My guy is very friendly, very chatty, very warm. But he just confuses me.

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Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:19

chumbal I know but we have become such close friends. I'm scared to ruin it all. And I don't want him to feel used or cheapened that this whole time we were being friends I was actually fancying him.

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updownleftrightstart · 15/11/2018 22:26

I got into a guy's bed with him, when he was naked, and he still didn't realise I liked him.

(I had just been very reliably informed that he was definitely very interested and had been for 3 years, and we have now been married for 15 years)

Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:33

updownleftrightstart, wow! What did he think you were up to? Trying to get warm?!

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ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 15/11/2018 22:42

If he's single why don't you ask him for a coffee

Laiste · 15/11/2018 22:43

When i was (much) younger i was in your situation OP and in the end i said to him -

''There's a guy i really like but i don't know for sure if he likes me. What's your advice? How should i let him know?''

He became instantly miserable. He sighed and snapped ''oh i don't know ... just kiss him or something''.

So i leaned over and kissed his cheek. His smile was something i'll never forget (and bloody hell he was good at snogging ;) )

Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:45

ineedtostopbeingsolazy we could easily go for coffee, lunch or a drink as friends though. And have already done so. So I don't think he'd get it!

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Original poster
Trixibelle1983 · 15/11/2018 22:46

Laiste that's a very sweet story. I could say something like that in a roundabout way.

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userofthiswebsite · 15/11/2018 22:47

Laiste
That's such a cute story...

garethsouthgatesmrs · 15/11/2018 22:47

In my experience if a bloke fancies you he will pursue you whether you send him signals or not

not in my experience. Men are nor all arrogant and cocksure.There are plenty of shy, self conscious men.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 15/11/2018 22:49

If he is a good friend could you just get into a conversation about relationships, has he got his eye on anyone etc. see of you can deduce anything from his responses.

Laiste · 15/11/2018 22:52

Yes. It's a cheat's way out really. Watch him carefully and his reaction will give it all away. Hopefully.

If he's enthusiastic about helping you get together with someone else it'll tell you lots. Any advice will tell you lots about how he likes to be approached. In my case the way he was so obviously and instantly pee'd off thinking i fancied someone else that it gave me the courage to just kiss him Grin

updownleftrightstart · 15/11/2018 22:52

Yes, I think that was exactly it! He just never thought it possible I would actually like him back (no idea why he'd think this) so there must be some non-romantic reasoning to my actions.

Awwww Laiste that it sweet