Children giving up their seats..

[whatsthepointthen]

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

I agree, they should have either squashed up together, or the 6 year old should have stood up and held tightly onto you.

I am fed up of seeing children taking up seats while elderly people stand. Some parents won't even take the kids onto their lap, but take up four seats between themselves and their two children, leaving old people standing for the entire journey.

This should only be an issue on a bus filled with children and elderly people IMO. If there's a younger, able bodied adult sitting, or an older child, they should give up their seat. It's ridiculous that the groups of people who need more consideration than the average adult - frail elderly, disabled, small children - end up fighting it out for space.

A four year old and a six year old can hold on can't they? A four or a six year old falling over would be likely to sustain far less damage than an elderly person having a fall. They should have taken up one seat or stood.

I am 48 and was also brought up that children stood if there were a shortage of seats. It was absolutely ingrained. Manners seem to have changed over the years.

And OP, I don't think you would have said an old man was bitching, you might have said complaining, but would have been less offensive.

Yep there was plenty of young adults travelling to work. but its only kids that are expected to move. im not sure if they all would have fit if mine moved up, she was a larger lady

Bear in mind that, when you say young adults travelling to work, you don't know what their work might be - it might be a 12 hour shift where they are on their feet all day, or a physically demanding job such as care work, or a job involving manual labour.

Personally I think children paying no fee or half fare should give up their seats for any adults...

Yes im sure everyone on the bus was either disabled, pregnant, elderly or doing a physically demanding job which meant they couldnt stand for 15 minutes!

Young able bodied adults are the best placed to stand. Children below puberty and elderly people, pregnant women or people with disabilities shouldn't be standing while fit able bodied adults sit. Children should of course share a seat or sit on a parent's lap when necessary.

Just because something used to be normal doesn't mean its right - women didn't used to have the vote, children used to work as chimney sweeps, even in my childhood nobody had childseats, rape within marriage used to be legal, it used to be scandalously bad manners to go out without a hat - from the serious to the ridiculous a lot of things have changed for the better over time. Children who have not yet started puberty are more fragile and weaker than teens and adults who are not elderly, pregnant or disabled - factual risk analysis should trump manners "because thats what we always thought was best therefore nothing should change".

whatsthe I have a small daughter. I work. I know who is generally more exhausted at the end of the day and needs a seat (clue, it is not her).

it wasnt the end of the day, it was 8.40 this morning. plently of people with physically demanding jobs walk to work or cycle, so should be able to stand on a bus.

They should be able to, but given they are working all day, why should they have to.

There are arguments on both sides, but basically, your kids should have budged up and sat together.

Hisaishe it's not a competition over who is most exhausted, it's a matter of safety and strength.

it wasnt the end of the day, it was 8.40 this morning

Which could easily be the end of someone's night or early morning shift.

I doubt they were all night workers

I'm of the generation who were told to give up our seats if an adult was standing on public transport. However my mother (or father) would always hold on to my arm securely if I had to stand so that I couldn't fall over with the movement of the bus/train. If that was not possible (if they were strap-hanging and had a bag in their other hand) then I would be told to hold onto their body and they would try to put me next to a post or partition so their body was holding me up.

I can't believe some of the replies on here. So children should give up their seat to show good manners but the moaning old woman doesn't have to have any manners at all....because ???

blue what, the kids don't have the strength to sit together on one seat?

Wow, they must be incredibly weak/

perfectly because for a lot of us, we were brought up to believe that you should show respect to older people, moaning ones or no. Yes, I know it's fashionable these days to think kids should be the centre of everything, but not all of us think that.

OP-why didn't you ask your children to budge up and share a seat?

My point is that someone who is doing a demanding job either has a tiring day behind them, or a tiring day ahead of them. Quite possibly they are fitting housework and childcare around their job as well.

I would never make my 4 y/o stand on a bus, the way they’re driven around our twisty turny roads - I’ve seen grown men fall on people. Nasty woman should have asked a young adult nicely rather than make loud PA comments about small children.

I always make my children offer up their seats to an older person (ie 65+) or anyone who looks like they would appreciate a seat. They're perfectly capable of standing or sitting on my feet if need be. My younger one is usually happier killing against me than sitting anywhere that might leave me with some personal space anyway!!

And for the r cord, I think a 6 and 4 year old should share a seat if anybody is standing regardless of age or size.

Perfectly Exactly. I have seen my 12yo get up and offer his seat to elderly people even though he himself is in agony due to joint pain. I leave it up to him for the most part, but he struggles with saying "no" even when he is hurting and feeling ill, so sometimes I do step in and say "actually no, he can't get up, but I'm sure someone else nearby can" and look around.

We did have one woman (that was already sitting) that said to me "Is your child pregnant, elderly or disabled?" in a bit of sneery tone ,to which I responded "Yes" and ignored her (while the man standing next to me laughed). She did spend quite some time talking loudly about it, while my child got more and more stressed. I focused on keeping him calm. She seemed to expect me to explain why he needed to sit - I don't feel I owe ANYONE on the bus, tube, or train an explanation of his private medical needs.

I didnt notice the woman until she started bitching as i was busy sorting my baby out, by that point no way was i going to tell them to budge up or move. as i said she was a much larger lady anyway no way would they have all fit.