Children giving up their seats..

[whatsthepointthen]

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

I think children should be sitting down on buses as it's safer for them. There is a tendency for people to treat kids like second class citizens - they were on the bus first and therefore got the seats and have no moral obligation to give them up any more than the adults who were on the bus first. That's how public transport works and if she doesn't like the rules, she is free to get a cab!
It doesn't matter that children travel for free - that's the bus company's decision, not the OP's and presumably older people also travel free of charge.
You should have told her to wind her neck in.

Why didn't you have the 4y/o on your lap?

You can very easily sit one adult and three small children on a bus seat. Smallest on adults lap, two others squished up.

YABU

I’d not ask my children to stand. They have as much right to a seat as anyone else.

hairspray read the full thread.....

I wasnt sat down, my baby is in a pram and im not going to leave her alone in the pram to sit down and its also not recommended to leave your pram unattended either. tbf the bus whizzed around a sharp corner, he was holding on but it sent him flying.

If they were 4 and 6 then they shove up and free a seat.

At 4 and 6 they are safer sitting down so YANBU.

Obviously bunched up on one seat would probably have been best but if she was rude from the start I wouldn't have made an effort to move them either.

NObody would have had to give up a seat if the children where told to squash up and share!

It depends on circumstances really. I’d move kids around if I could But she shouldn’t have bitched.

To me bitched is a discrption of attitude, men can be bitchy too
On a side note, infirm is a horrid word.

Sorry started typing ages ago and didn't post!

Why not squish them up then that still stands? Especially if it is a busy route I would have made sure they squished up as soon as they sat down.

My DSD is 6 and we often get the bus with her 3 of us on one seat two adult and a child squished up together is also fine.

Seems like this woman just wanted to have a moan about children and you didn't want to be accommodating to that which is fine.

I don't think I would be pleased if I saw two small children taking up a whole bus seat on a busy bus when they could easily just shuffle up. Then no-one has to stand and it isn't an issue.

Why children and not other, able-bodied adults?

I guess some would say it's because the children haven't paid for a seat. Having said that it's not like they have an option to pay or not.

No I wouldn’t have my children standing on a moving bus. Specially if I was already stood up.

Some other able bodied person can give up there seats instead of children

A six year old is old enough to hold on tightly, and I'd expect them to stand.

The four year old, I would expect to stand and hold your hand if you were standing, or on your lap, if you were seated.

The only exception would be after a very long day, or a late night, when they were very tired and needed to sit more than another person.

It's just good manners. If you don't get them to stand for people who need the seat more (and in general adults, especially older ones, do need it more than energetic kids), you are teaching them to be that adult who wouldn't stand to give a pregnant lady or an elderly or disabled person a much needed seat. Is that how you want them to grow up?

All depends on age and mobility
Any able bodied person should stand to give their seat to someone who may ave trouble standing for any length of time.
However, if I’ve paid for seats for my dc ( which I do as they are old enough to be paid for) they have as much right as an adult to that seat

cant hold their hands, Im holding onto my babies pram and the bar myself usually! seen far too many prams tip i always hang onto mine. And my son DID fall over on the bus so whether other children go to the playground or not is irrelevant. its like saying the woman stood up for 20 minutes waiting for the bus but cant stand up on one when it comes

I'm sorry but I wouldn't make my children stand up, not when there were other adults who could have offered her a seat. I would usually offer my seat but since I'm 20 weeks pregnant I dont think I would be inclined to do so. Maybe if she had asked nicely I would have asked my children to share a seat or stand up but with an attitude like that I would have left her to it tbh

A playground is stationary and a child is in control of their movement and momentum. A bus is travelling at up to 30mph and makes sudden unexpected jerks. It takes a good deal of my (healthy, adult) strength and balance to hold on sometimes when the driver slams the brakes. And most of the poles for holding on are beyond the reach of a small child.

It's just good manners. If you don't get them to stand for people who need the seat more (and in general adults, especially older ones, do need it more than energetic kids), you are teaching them to be that adult who wouldn't stand to give a pregnant lady or an elderly or disabled person a much needed seat. Is that how you want them to grow up?*

im more concerned about their safety tbh. there was many other people on the bus. she could have targetted someone else rather than small children.

The 4 year old could have sat, but I'd make a 6 year old stand up for an adult tbh, any adult, whatever their age. Or they can just sit together on one seat.

I live in a very child-focused country and watching 10 year olds ramming other people out of the way so they can sit down is very disconcerting to me.

@amicissimma it’s the unpredictability that is the issue and the speed. Plus having an adult fall on a small child is more dangerous than on another adult. I’ve seen enough adults fall that I’d rather children were seated. Why we moan at mothers for children not standing while the young adults sit and ‘sleep’ in the priority seating I have no idea...

I'd have told her that she'd been offered a seat and refused so obviously had no need of one. That said, I can be quite rude to people when they piss me off.

I'd say that a child under 8 should sit, as it's difficult to keep your balance on a moving vehicle, as you have already experienced. If there were plenty of other people who were able to get up and give their seats, then it's to them the woman should be directing her venom.

@mrsm43s I teach good manners by modelling them. I have given up my seat when necessary or if possible made DS sit on my lap to offer the seat to someone else. However watching adults run to seats is just as disconcerting. I’ve had men push me out of the way for a seat. Why pick on small children?

My bus hierarchy would be:

Elderly/infirm/pregnant women
Young children
Able-bodied adults
Teenagers
Fat people taking up two seats

I would give up my seat for the first two. Everyone else can go fuck themselves unless the person next to me smelt so I could use it as an excuse to get away from them.

When my children were young I often sat with two on my lap. I'm 68 now, and though it's harder for me to stand, I will always offer my seat to someone who looks older/more infirm than I am. I think healthy children should give older people their seats... one day it will be their turn to sit! I didn't realise when I was younger that when you hit about 60 you get a lot of aches and pains.