to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

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Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

I think our plan would be to rent our London house then rent in Wales at the start. We could rent London for about £4500 a month but would want to rent for about £2750 a month in Wales so we could cover our mortgage and rent with the London income.

I think you should consider that as a long-term option, not just at the start. Once you sell in London you will find it extremely difficult to move back. But remember that the rental income is taxable, but the rent expense is not tax deductible. Though if you are joint owners then the rent is split between you. The mortgage interest is not tax deductible, but agents fees and repairs are.

Also remember that career moves do not last forever these days, in a few years time you/DH could be planning the next move. At that time you do not want to be locked into a property in South Wales that may be hard to sell.

Good luck

Oliversmum, I raised the point because of OP considering Bristol as an alternative.
One of my DCs (14) does a lot of sport but his training is very local and I drop him off then come home, and share lifts. So it impacts on me very little. That would be much less likely the bigger the city.

Excellent points @filka

I moved from the north to South Wales quite recently and live just over half an hours train ride from Cardiff.

It's a culture shock but the kids who are top end of primary and beginning of secondary have settled in very well.

The people are so friendly and it's quite rural, but with the train it's ok, I wouldn't want to live somewhere without trains to Cardiff.

Penarth is a lovely place and not far from Cardiff.

To be honest it sounds like you don't want to like it.

I know it's a huge decision and it has to be right for all of you.

I personally wouldn't want to live in London but if an opportunity came up for DP I would consider it.

I love Cardiff it's one of my favourite cities.

OP, you have a 50% chance your marriage will end in divorce. If that were to happen, where would you rather be, London or Cardiff?

I moved from London to Swansea (wanted Cardiff but suitable job came up in Swansea). Either city would be a big big change, especially at 12 years old. I also have the advantage of family in the area. BUT. if your child is at all interested in outdoors activities, riding, surfing, rock climbing, camping wales is a brilliant place to live, especially as you can get to the outdoors so quickly. In terms of history South Wales is literally littered with castles and small museums. None are massive and fancy like the British museum but they do a lot with what they have got. In terms of music and nightlife your nearly teen might thank you, Cardiff is still a great city for that despite closures in recent years. Really disturbed by how many people are shitting on learning welsh in school. Learning a foreign language, any one, develops unique parts of the brain and increases your chances of being successful learning other languages too. Be pissed off modern languages aren’t Compulsory to gcse anymore in England rather than shitting on wales. all that said, we moved to Swansea cos we wanted to and we were excited and it was still a hard few months adjustment. I’m happy but I really miss somethings about London. I don’t think you’ll make a success of it if you are dreading it.

We’ve found South wales to be great.
We’ve lived in many different parts of the UK and in several locations we've ended up knowing ex Londoners who were all told they’d never manage away from London that they'd regret it None of them did as the lifestyle pay off were worth it to them. I image that's not representative as one who hated it would probably move as close back as they could.

Best advice I can give is do as much research a possible and visit to get a feel for locations.

Though if you’ve got a year 8 you should consider it’s usually in year 9 options are chosen and in some schools GCSE.

The Welsh/Cardiff dwellers have been described on here as parochial and small minded. Isn’t it just as small minded to believe there is no life outside London?

I think posters (with experience of both) are saying that life will be very different, which is true. And tbf I think you need to have lived in London for a decent period to appreciate what this means.

Having made a similar move thirty years ago my advice is expect to adjust your expectations on everything. People outside of London tend to be more accepting of shall we say different standards, so plumbers, decorators etc will find you picky on details. Of course you will be able to find brilliant places to eat, shop, be educated and entertained but they aren’t the norm. You’ll find a lot more of the run of the mill in your day to day life.

There are many pluses. There is much less pressure to be at the top of everything. People are less competitive outside London and frankly, less neurotic.

You’ll find your DC will be much better at entertaining themselves than they would have been in London where so much is on tap.

You’ll feel safer.

It could be a good move, but it’s going to be different.

And I agree with other posters, DO NOT sell your London house. If you do there’s no going back if the job doesn’t work out.

Bloody hell. Actually I also find the blanket statements from @lizzie quite offensive. I've lived all over the UK, including towns/cities/suburbs in Wales, London, the west Midlands and East Midlands but am actually from Wales.

To tackle a few points... The worst bullying I've ever experienced was in the east mids where my school peers would consistently tell me to 'f*ck off back to Wales.' Delightful but bullying can happen everywhere and anywhere. There are plenty of young children in Wales who go through their entire school life without a problem.

You won't need anywhere near £2750 per month for rent so, I assume, paying for private school will not be a problem. PPs are correct in that this would be better than the state school system for the most part but there are also some fantastic schools that aren't private. Just make sure you do your research.

RE a car. Of course you need a bloody car in Cardiff. Like you need a car pretty much ANYWHERE outside London to get around. This is a mute point really.

There are plenty of theatres, museums, galleries etc around the place but I would treat Cardiff like you are moving to a suburb of London, rather than a city like London. That would be much more comparable.

Racism- I did not come across this living in Cardiff. Came across a more (although not a massive amount) further west but the communities there are much more insular. Cardiff is a lot more cosmopolitan and almost European in its feel.

Strongly recommend you taking a holiday there. Penarth, rhiwbina, Llandaff and Cowbridge are all really lovely. Roath and Cathays are very studenty so would avoid. Arrange to go see a show at the Millennium Centre and spend an evening in the bay. Then spend the next few days exploring the centre, the museums and the castle and then perhaps branch out for another couple of days to Penarth or one of the surrounding suburbs to explore.

Hope this helps.

I'm not Welsh. I went to university I. wales decades ago. Cardiff was growing and modernising even then. From what some people are writing on this post I'd think the thread was talking about some tiny village in the middle of nowhere!

Children do activities and sports all over the country, not just in London. Probably for a lot less money. Children make friends and learn all over the country. I can't imagine what activities your children do in London that can't be found in Cardiff, unless you spend all your spare time visiting the natural history museum and other galleries and not much else. Plus in Cardiff you are within easy reach of amazing countryside and outdoor activities, both costal and up in the hills. You've just got to widen your vision.

From your initial posts and reactions I think you're more likely to go down the Lizzie/Oliversmum route and end up hating Cardiff rather than embracing it, same for your child. (Not meaning it in a nasty way, you just don't come across as though you're going to adapt well).

OP you say you’ve been living in London for 20 years. Where were you before that? Do you have any realistic memory of what life was like?

Life IS different outside London - no two ways about it. I’m not saying it’s better or worse, this is a matter of opinion, but there are distinct differences and it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

When my DC go beyond the M25 they feel just as out of sync as when we’re in some far flung place abroad. Especially as it should feel “normal” (it’s still Britain after all), but somehow it just doesn’t. Yet they’re fine somewhere like NYC or Paris because the atmosphere and pace is more familiar to them. It would be exactly the same to move a child from a rural location into London - they are bound to feel like a fish out of water. A five year old will probably adapt, but 12 is a tricky age.

My DS lives in Cardiff. Stayed there after being a student in the University of South Wales. Granted we are from West Wales but he has several friends who are Londoners who were at Uni with him who have stayed and don't intend returning to London, they love Cardiff. I would love to live in Penarth myself.

Is the intention for you to also work in Cardiff? Or are you SAHM?

I think you’ll find anyone who went to Cardiff University absolutely loves the place, wherever they came from originally.

I'm an ex Londoner, now living in South Wales. I'd much rather raise children here than in London. We were living in London when my eldest son turned 16, and he moved to Lincolnshire to live with my dad, because he no longer felt safe in London.

The pollution alone would put me off having children in London now, and then there are all the stabbings.

I'm a Cardiffian and if you want rural best to head West! St Fagans, Radyr and around Cowbridge are lush areas! Lush = Great.
Avoid Ely, Pentrebane, Llanrumney, Rumney (east) and St Mellons. They have always been a bit 'rough'.

Penarth is a lovely town with 2 good secondary schools. This is what we looked at when we relocated here.

I'm from London - moved here at 14. I adjusted just fine, so don't automatically assume your kids will struggle. They may love it.
For those who say the schools are rubbish, my dc attended a lovely primary school and got into Russell group unis with the education they received here. Uni education was subsidised by the Welsh govt, so they have less debt than kids in England. Like in all places, some schools are better than others. Another thing is that AS levels are different to England in that they can be converted to A levels in yr13, rather than being entirely separate. That's a long way off for you, but trust me, it comes around quickly! I prefer the Welsh systrm as I ferl it offers greater flexibility. I've not waited 3 weeks for a drs appt either. If you are unwell and need long term medication, free prescriptions are a godsend.
OP, you have money and therefore choices. You could be very happy here.
I love London, but in all honesty I wouldn't want my teens roaming there right now, not with all the knife crime. Cardiff has shops, cinemas, clubs etc - your kids won't be bored.

A friend of mine used to commute from Bristol to Cardiff, he's now moved there with his wife and children and love it; they are in Rhiwbina. I'd say go for it.

I’m moving from northern England to the Cardiff area with my children next summer to be with my partner who is from there. We can’t wait!

You can’t compare Cardiff to London but that doesn’t mean London is a better place to live. I’m from London originally but wouldn’t move back there although I like to visit very occasionally.

I don’t doubt there are some racist/anti English people in Wales, in fact my partner readily admits they do exist but in all my times I’ve spent there already I’ve yet to meet anyone who has said anything horrible or made me or my 2 children uncomfortable. I have been verbally abused by someone who mistakenly thought I was polish actually. I was called amongst other things a polish whore who stole British men and stole British people’s jobs. By a woman in London. Who had a London accent very much like my own. Basically where there are people there are arseholes who are nasty/racist/whatever.

Culture.... I’ve yet to meet a welsh person who was ashamed of being welsh for example, much like I’ve met to meet a scouser ashamed of coming from Liverpool. There are museums, castles, beaches, beautiful buildings, lots going on as there there is in plenty of other places outside of London.

Education wise we’re hoping the eldest will get into either one of the high schools in Penarth (lovely area, dead easy to get to Cardiff from there on the train and no doubt the eldest will be able to do that before long on her own with her friends when she meets some). The youngest has additional needs and as luck would have it there is a very new very good special needs school that he will be able to attend close by. I can’t speak for all of Cardiff and surrounding areas but Penarth doesn’t seem to be lacking. I know plenty of schools in the area I live now that are massively struggling. It’s not a problem that only Wales is suffering.

Also if you truly miss London it’s 2 hours on the train from Cardiff to Paddington.

I think you should get excited about this move.
Your health is so important.
Working 50-60 hour weeksand a nanny means you can't be seeing much of your friends on a daily/weekly basis.
Going part time would allow you to meet people at school gates, join groups and make new ones. The old ones can visit.
It's probably easier to be parttime not in London. You will have a culture shock at first just because the pace is so different outside London. You will miss living at the centre of things.
And then you might find you start to relax and enjoy the new pace. You'll like the fact your snot is no longer black for a start.
You prob take commuting for granted but you'll quickly enjoy your DH's 30 min commute. And nipping up to London with a seat is a whole different thing to SE trains.
Penarth is fab. Cardiff has lots to offer. The kids will adapt and your 12 year old can go visit her old friends.
Don't bury yourself in the countryside too much stay central. You might find you need to go into the estate agents and do the old fashioned thing of getting on their books so they ring you up first. I've noticed not all estate agents in Wales use Rightmove.

How bizarre that someone said we have to wait 3 weeks for a Dr appointment in Wales. I've always been able to see someone that morning, wherever in Wales I've lived.

@professorMoody the same! As long as we phone between 8 and 10 we get a same day appointment

I've lived in both. Currently raising in DC in London and happy here, but if I had to move back for work, I'd go to Penarth, or poss somewhere around the Chapel Arts centre area. Severn Grove is jolly nice. I wouldn't go rural any more than I would go rural in England. Stay in the city (or best of both worlds in Penarth) and with a little adjustment I think you and your DC will be happy - and arguably you'll arguably be healthier and more chilled. Keep hold of the London pad though, not a good time to sell but always a good investment in the longer run.

I'm currently working for the Welsh Government on the National Survey for Wales. LOTS of questions relate to people's experience of GP services, and waiting times to see a doctor vary hugely between local authorities. In many places, it can easily be at least a week or two, and there is huge concern about this.