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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

419 replies

AutoFillUsername · 11/11/2018 21:46

Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 12/11/2018 13:06

Bristol to Cardiff commute is a nightmare, the traffic is crazy and theres always accidents on the M4 that cause chaos especially by newport tunnels. Bristol is also alot more expensive.
We are in chepstow so not far to bristol (and once the tolls stop ext month we will probably go to bristol more often) and not far to cardiff either.
Chepstow is a small town, not very exciting but we have loads of countryside on the door step - wye valley/forest of dean, and then easy access to the M4 and several cities - Bristol and Cardiff as well as Newport for more mundane things - hospital, everyday shopping etc.
You may be best in going completely different than your london life and embracing the rural life - chickens the whole works!!!!!

BrieAndChilli · 12/11/2018 13:06

My son does 1 hour of welsh a week

SerenDippitty · 12/11/2018 13:08

*PoisonousSmurf

I'm a Cardiffian and if you want rural best to head West! St Fagans, Radyr and around Cowbridge are lush areas! Lush = Great.*

Although quite nice places to the north too - Rudry, Draethen, Lower Machen.

bubbles108 · 12/11/2018 13:41

Lush = Great.

One of my favourite TV programs is Gavin & Stacey

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/11/2018 13:45

I actually think the op would give it a go but I have said before it is the dc who would be the sticking point.

I don’t get the bit about not feeling safe in London.
Or the black snot

Always felt safe and feel very safe about dc wandering the streets of London and never noticed black snot

L0kiWh0 · 12/11/2018 13:57

@oliversmumsarmy I was born in London and lived there til I was 28. The part I lived in (newham in east London) got so bad I had to get the kids away from there. Even just Looking at someone could get you beaten up.

pennycarbonara · 12/11/2018 14:02

I was moved as a kid out of London to a different part of the country and mostly hated it, as lizzie1970a's kids did - BUT in the long run I can see that it gave me a perspective that people who've always lived in the home counties don't tend to have, and a better understanding of both the London bubble and what it's like outside it. I didn't really start to appreciate that until my late 20s though. Before that I was still resenting not having had access to stuff in London as a teenager (and also being forbidden from going to uni in London because it was too expensive). By my late 30s I saw the move as a pragmatic and financially beneficial decision that I may well have taken myself.

pennycarbonara · 12/11/2018 14:03

And which I'm actually grateful for now.

Motoko · 12/11/2018 14:04

I never noticed black snot when I lived there, but when I go to visit my mum now, it takes a good 2 or 3 days to clear the black snot when I get back to Wales.

I also felt as safe in London as anywhere else, but my (then) teenage son didn't. He says he saw a gun when we lived there. Of course, he didn't tell me that until after we'd left, but he said it was getting worse. He lives there at the moment, through necessity rather than choice, and sometimes has to work in Croydon, which is not far from where we lived for a few years, and he said it's gone really downhill. Other people I know, who live there, have said the same.

I guess it depends on which area you live in. Where he lives now is fine, but it's become a very middle class area since the 80s.

Violinboymum · 12/11/2018 14:05

LokiWho, so why don’t you compare like for like? Rough areas to rough areas and vise versus. It’s not fair to compare one of the deprived areas of London to better parts of Whales. There are some lovely safe areas in London with excellent schools and strong community. So compare those to best parts of Whales and I bet you’d rather stay in London than move.

Violinboymum · 12/11/2018 14:07

vise versa.

pugalugs90 · 12/11/2018 14:14

Cardiff is an absolute dump! It's extortionately over priced and is really not a great place to live. If you have to live in Cardiff I'd look at Whitchurch or Thornhill way. Alternatively, look for a small town setting that's rural such as llantwit Major, Cowbridge, Welsh St Donats. You'll get a lot for your money in those places. Cardiff would eat your budget up quickly.

ProfessorMoody · 12/11/2018 14:16

Cardiff is an absolute dump

How fucking rude. No it isn't.

What delightful place do you live in?

Violinboymum · 12/11/2018 14:23

I have a place in Bristol that we rent out so visit quite often. It’s a friendly city with lots of activities for kids but I always feel ancient and out of place, it’s mostly very young families or students. If I had to make a move I’d go there. I know lots of people that moved from Cardiff to Bristol but hardly anybody who moved from Bristol to Cardiff.

PsychedelicSheep · 12/11/2018 14:24

I was coming on to say how about Bristol? About 90 mins max by car and less by train, they're getting rid of the Severn bridge toll so definitely doable.

Bristol is a fantastic city, Cardiff...meh.

LilMy33 · 12/11/2018 14:24

I can only assume pug has lived a very sheltered life if they think Cardiff is a dump! I don’t doubt there are some less than desirable areas (I don’t fancy living in splott for example) but come on!

brizzledrizzle · 12/11/2018 14:26

@brieandchilli We are in chepstow so not far to bristol (and once the tolls stop ext month we will probably go to bristol more often) and not far to cardiff either.

We've said the same but in the opposite direction - we'll wave at you as we cross the bridge Grin

Talkingfrog · 12/11/2018 14:27

Most people in Wales are very friendly. When I stated working a number of my work colleagues were originally from London before the office moved to Wales.
I can't advise on areas to choose as I am in Newport. I would avoid having to go through the tunnels though as Newport gets congested if there is an accident on the m4.

lyndar · 12/11/2018 14:36

I am not a city girl so hated the busy atmosphere there
As a young girl though I loved Roath and the park especially however it's becoming quite rough down that way
In fact overall Cardiff has a great problem with homelessness drugs and people are generally bad -mouthed there
I would not ever if you paid me live in Cardiff again but that's just my take

londontocaerdydd · 12/11/2018 14:37

Cardiff is an absolute dump

Pray elaborate why Cardiff is a dump?

(Looks out of Cardiff window at tree lined street houses (leaves are beautiful colour) and mountains in the distance.)

(Remembers London view of grim HMO across the street and the drug dealers who lived there (and stole our car). At the time houses were going for a million quid a pop.)

ILoveAutum · 12/11/2018 14:38

I have read your posts, but not all the replies.

I do think your DH’s heart is in the right place, but I think you have better options.

There’s NOWHERE like London. You and the DC obviously love living there. Rejig your life THERE to accommodate you needing to do less hours (🌷sorry. It’s crap isn’t it x) but don’t move out of London. You don’t want to!

Encourage DH to apply for new jobs in London that are exciting, it’s not ‘this job’ or staying where he is.

Oh and it has nothing to do with Wales per se. I love visiting Wales and have only had good experiences there. It could have been anywhere in the UK you were saying you were moving to.

londontocaerdydd · 12/11/2018 14:41

lyndar I do agree there is a homelessness problem, but that is a problem in every UK city.

Givemeyourbunsandyourbiscuits · 12/11/2018 15:01

We moved from a big town near London to deepest rural Wales when I was 12. It was absolutely fine. I enjoyed learning Welsh, it was not a chore. Wales is absolutely my home and I would never return to where I grew up. Lived in Cardiff for a few years and absolutely loved it. It's small, friendly, lots of culture and things to do. It's a very green city with lovely parks, beautiful Roath Park lake, lots of cycle paths. It's nothing like London where I could never live as I love the countryside but it's a completely different pace of life.
My older brother and sister who were teenagers when we moved also survived and are very happily bringing up their families in Wales.

IamaBluebird · 12/11/2018 15:17

To say Cardiff is a dump just shows ignorance. Sitting in Bute Park surrounded by trees, watching the squirrels. Then off on the boat to the Bay for a walk to the barrage.
I could be very 'meh' about Bristol , like every City, Cardiff included it has its good and bad points.

PennyArcade · 12/11/2018 16:34

How bizarre that someone said we have to wait 3 weeks for a Dr appointment in Wales. I've always been able to see someone that morning, wherever in Wales I've lived

I agree.
There is a 2/3 week wait for a routine apt, with a doctor of your choice but if we call between 8 and 10am we can get an apt the same day. We can get a routine apt within a day or two if we are not fussy about which doctor we see. Once surgery closes at 6pm the open hours surgery opens for patients who can't wait until the morning.

It's very misleading for someone to say you can't get a GP apt for 3 weeks, in Wales. And total rubbish!