to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

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Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

Truly.... don't swop happy and settled and near family, for big unknown. With children involved, it's such a gamble. I'm speaking from experience, took me about 5 years to stop wanting to go back and my dc were only 6&3! With hindsight, I'd have stayed put.

Cardiff is lovely, but like anywhere, if you decide before you go that it's a bit shit, you won't enjoy it. It's interesting and arty and diverse and friendly.
Learning a new language is always a good thing- I'm flummoxed that anyone would think that an hour's language lesson a week is going to be too much for any child.
And for anyone saying Cardiff is a racist city, before going on to making sweeping generalisations about the inhabitants of a whole city, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

OP, if you’re going to end up eventually paying school fees for 3 in Wales anyway, could you not move a little way out if London into a cheaper house with a good state secondary?

No offence to Cardiff, but I do think that would be a very extreme move indeed. Living there as a family is a very different proposition to going there for uni, or the odd day with work.

Do not underestimate the difference in the weather because they do seem to get at least double the rainfall there. Of course there are all types of people in Wales, as anywhere, but it is a different mentality overall. It is the only place in the UK where DH has experienced racism.

On the plus side, you’ll be near some beautiful coastline eg Pembrokeshire. Are you outdoor-type people?

Think long-term - when your children get jobs, where are these jobs more likely to be? Even if they don’t work in London, it’s easier to fly home to London, or get there by train connections.

We moved from London to Abergavenny at the beginning of the year. I love it! The kids are happier here. They have more freedom and there’s still lots to do. Train to Newport/Cwmbran/Cardiff all on the same line.

My children started in year 8 and 9 and they DO NOT have to take Welsh language. They were given the option. Younger one wanted to do it but older one declined. It’s not compulsory.

Roath park area is nice, I've wanted to live there since a kid but could never afford it and I love my little valley home.

Btw, people saying about speaking Welsh, well only a small percentage actually do in South Wales, even though it's compulsory to learn at school and all public literature must be bilingual. Where I live in South Wales, there is a lot of unhappiness about the money spent on this and many teenagers are really not remotely engaged in learning it.

The Welsh language is in a far better state of health overall than any of the UK’s other indigenous languages (Scots/Irish Gaelic, Manx, Cornish). A lot of people are proud of the language even if they don’t speak it.

Yes, I agree with the above comment about pride in it, and a lot of people wish they actually could speak it, but it is not such a factor for op to consider, for having to learn it herself etc.

MonsterTequila - I didn't accuse all the Welsh of being racist. I said there was casual racism that I'd never encountered after 25 years in London, shockingly so. People using the word Paki in front of me - a neighbour of mine. And of course not everyone is small minded but again some are, noticeably so, and the casual racism is a reflection of that.

TroysMammy: lizzie1970a museums and theatres are not the b all of culture.

You got the wrong end of the stick. I only brought up museums and theatres in a counter-argument to other posters saying Cardiff has got loads of world class museums and galleries. It doesn't. Just stating facts. I've never bothered with them much in London either.

Cardiff is a great city but the way it is described by those that love it, describing the surrounding area etc is great if you are a middle aged walker (tbf even at my age posters aren’t putting the greatest spin on it) but no one has said anything about what would attract a reluctant teen who is used to the freedom London gives them and the current friendship group they have and ultimately it is the dc who will have the final say.

Whether they have to move with the op and ultimately end up voting with their feet and getting out ASAP and never returning.

I know my dc have grown up in London and dd has picked up friends from all over the country (even some in Cardiff) over the years from various activities, competitions she has been in.

The friends envy dds freedom. Equally dd doesnt envy their lifestyle.

At 10years old dd was riding the tube to school on her own and was able to stay out after school with her friends if she wanted to go and wander round Covent Garden or Oxford Street, She learned to skateboard in Hyde Park.

Whilst her friends even at 13/14 we’re still being driven around to play dates or driven to meet friends at a shopping centre.

I would have definitely had a mutiny on my hands if we had announced we were moving anywhere other than maybe New York or LA.

The questions I'd be asking myself wouldn't be so much about the move but about the job. Is it a job for life, until retirement - ie. is it worth such a big move for a job that he might leave in a few years? Will his industry be affected if there's a post-Brexit recession and will positions like his be affected? How easy would it be for him to get a position in London again, if things don't work out? Is there a chance his current employer might improve his salary to keep him on, meaning you can cut back your hours?

I would seriously consider for the first three months/probationary period him staying in Cardiff for the week and coming home at weekends. The job might not work out.

Whilst her friends even at 13/14 we’re still being driven around to play dates or driven to meet friends at a shopping centre.

That's another point to consider, you may end up working less but you'll be spending much more time ferrying teens around. London offers much more independence as it's so easy for them to get around by themselves.

I agree with theodoracrainsgloves. Don't burn your bridges just yet.

The Welsh/Cardiff dwellers have been described on here as parochial and small minded. Isn’t it just as small minded to believe there is no life outside London?

We moved from a different big English city to a different part of Wales. We moved for DH's job and to be near an unwell parent. I'm full of regret and miss the life we had.

Schools are not a patch on those in England - poorly funded, misguided spending.
Healthcare - free prescriptions sounds wonderful, but, when you're generally well, waiting three weeks to see a GP means you never bother.
Local government - again, mismanaged spending. Lacklustre museum/gallery space in every town, but libraries are closing. Boarded up high streets. Non-existent public transport.

Things will only get worse when European funding stops.

My sister lives in Cardiff but works in Bristol, the commute is perfectly doable (unless rail replacement buses are on)

Elgin Park, Redland, Bristol, BS6
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-76963211.html

This is lovely in Bristol. However I've always found Cardiff to be lovely, quite cosmopolitan, encourages new and small business, loads of great options for eating out, good shopping, a stones throw to the country, a wealth of weekend activities and culture. I love it! I live in Leeds, however did live in london for 4 years, and I do really rate it.

People will always have bad experiences, if you are renting out your existing property and renting in Cardiff/Bristol you haven't burned any bridges if you do want to leave.

Go at it with an open mind and your DC might follow suit. It's awful to leave friends and a life you know, no matter where you're going. Good luck!

God this thread is depressing

I would worry about the school situation for your youngest if you are using state schools. Wales has the poorest educational outcomes for any area of the UK, and is about to bring in a fuzzy-looking skills-based curriculum which appears to have been modeled on Scotland's (fuzzy-looking, skills-based) Curriculum for Excellence and which has frankly been a bit of a fiasco, so their academic results are not going to get any better in the foreseeable future. And if you have to pay for three sets of private school fees, you are not going to save that much by moving.

Lolling at the language barrier comments. I live West of Cardiff. Grew up here and moved back after 20 years in London. I have never spoken a word of welsh (although my mother is fluent).
It is not compulsory in the private schools.
Also faintly amused re the horror of having to drive your DCs places. Isn't that the case everywhere (apart from London)? I'm a single parent of 4 DCs and work. I've never found this a hardship. The DCs share lifts and as they get older tend to do less clubs anyway. All their clubs/sports training are so close to home that I tend to drop off them then come home.
The private schools in Cardiff are very good.
I love Cardiff. Don't particularly like the city I live in.
Cowbridge and the Vale are nice, and Penarth.
Bristol will be a less daunting commute to you if you are used to London commuting.

User, why are you saying this thread is depressing? I think it's been amazingly helpful for the op and people giving really useful info!

Also if you do decide to go and rent your home out do check out the implications the recent budget rules brought in regarding the tax implications of renting out your primary residence.

Things have changed

Also faintly amused re the horror of having to drive your DCs places. Isn't that the case everywhere (apart from London

The whole point of this thread is that the op is from London. So that is going to be a consideration.

FWIW my dc upped their after school activities as they got older

Whatever you do, don't live in Newport 😁

@User10fuckingmillion

Why?

I adore Wales and dislike London

But they are worlds apart and that has to be taken into account on this thread, imo

Also DHs unilateralist approach makes me

When our daughters were at primary school, two sets of friends moved from here (London suburb) to South Wales. All their children seemed to settle and were happy. We used to go down and visit them.

Those that moved to Penarth did so specifically as they were from the town themselves, had migrated to London for work in the '80s, and wanted to return to give their children a good environment in which to grow up. Specifically they wanted their children to be able to go to Stanwell School, a state secondary school in Penarth. Both children did very well there.

The other family moved to Llantwit Major. They settled in well, but it is very small and probably not what the OP would be looking for.