to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

[AutoFillUsername]

Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

Nice houses though, agreed.

Unless it's changed in the past couple of years.

I moved to Wales when I was 8, not Cardiff, but a much more rural location. It was fine, we settled and made friends. We go back home for Christmas, and I don't hate my parents for it! Just to offer an alternative voice.

Yes, 50:50 how it can turn out. Wish I'd realised the odds before I moved as a 50% chance of it being good wouldn't have been comfortable enough. Anyway AutoFill I won't post more but if you want to PM me with any more details that's fine.

I personally found the kids very small minded and the bullying was horrendous

How odd. I'm Cardiff born and bred and have rarely come across bullying as both a pupil and a teacher. I'd say the children are quite the opposite of small-minded. Cardiff is a wonderful, multicultural city with people of all nationalities and cultures.

As for racism, never come across any either. The only racism I've come across is further West, from English people who move here then don't like it when we speak Welsh.

I would suggest renting for a year - as much as this means moving twice, you can see if you like Cardiff and where you want to live. Choosing private schools close to dh's work makes sense as it doesn't matter where you eventually live

Saying that learning welsh is compulsory is tosh

Yes they do have lessons sometimes, I think when in my local comp it's was one 30 min lesson a week. They teach the basics in Welsh thats all. Yes there are welsh speaking schools but plenty of non welsh schools as well.

I moved from London to a small village in a rural area when I was 11. Hated it. It ruined my life for at least a decade and I've never quite forgiven my parents, even though I know logically it wasn't their fault and I'm being ridiculous. Left as soon as I could to go back to London and will never ever live near my parents again because of it. Sorry to be the voice of doom and gloom!

Ok, even the other night the shop keeper said something about too many black people when she went on holiday to New Orleans. How she felt this appropriate to even mention this I don't know. Another said she'd moved out of Cyncoed as too many Asians had moved in. Another woman I was walking to school once with saw a purse on the floor and picked it up - smelt it! and said I think it's an Asian person's! Utterly bizzare. I could go on.

If you're Cardiff born and bred you won't have experienced what someone moving here has experienced.

Yes, there's bullying everywhere. It can be difficult moving to a new school, being the new kid. Harder the older you are possibly. Some won't experience it and that's great but our experience was horrendous.

I was actually born in Cardiff and think the people here can be unfriendly. I'm not the only one that said that. A friend moved from Manchester and said Whitchurch very cliquey and she was the most lovely person. People have different experiences. It's worked for some, it didn't for us.

It is compulsory in Cardiff up to GCSE and it's more than half an hour a week. It was only one or two lessons less a fortnight than English and maths at my DCs school. Learning up to GCSE is more than the basics. You don't have to learn it at private school though.

That's what's happened to my kids peach. I'm thinking of moving back to London because of it or as close as I can get.

Cardiff airport doesn't go many places and is very expensive. It gets boring having to travel to Bristol or London to fly somewhere at a decent price.

I grew up in penarth (one if the naice areas mentioned earlier), and I would agree that Cardiff is a nice city and South Wales is a fab place to grow up. I would echo the PP who said that don't try to emulate your life in London in Cardiff. It's a very different city, with a different vibe.

Cardiff is a really small city - you can get accross it in about an hour. However the advantage is that there is some gorgeous areas of natural beauty on your doorstep. The disadvantages is that communities are somewhat closed, especially the more rural you go. There is definitely a lot of casual racism (I am of Indian descent) however there is a lot of ignorance as well so people are willing to be corrected. If you're white, you won't need to worry so much about fitting in.

The Welsh language is mandatory at school, however only up until GCSE (and it's only 'half' a GCSE), so it isn't like your kids will be expected to speak it! I went to a private school so never had to learn Welsh and to be honest, I never needed it. You'll come accross epople who are very passionate about the whole thing...just nod and move on.

If you have a medical condition that will need NHS support further down the line, I would check the provisions are the same for your condition as they are in England. The health services are slightly different, and not always in a good way!

I guess the other option for you would be to live in Bristol/bath and for your DH to commute to Cardiff. It's a very common commute (about 60-90mins on train).

OK, pretty much hyperventilating in panic now. We are incredibly happy in London, we have such a lovely community of friends locally and further afield around the city. The kids are all at great schools. We try and explore a new thing in the city each weekend and we can still do that despite having lived here forever.

But my health needs me to work less and this move would mean I could do that. I have to look at it positively!

I’ve just tried to look for lovely rentals in Cardiff on rich move but everything seems to be uni accommodation. Also looked at Cowbridge but not one large house to rent there. Hmmmm.

Is a Bristol to Cardiff commute doable?

Saying that learning welsh is compulsory is tosh

Erm, what? That statement is tosh. The Welsh language is compulsory to learn in ALL schools until Year 10, and compulsory for GCSE options in many schools.

OP, Cardiff is wonderful but VERY different to London. I've done a Cardiff to Bristol commute and it's fucking horrendous.

When people say it’s v different from London can I ask in what ways? What would people who know both cities say is the biggest diffence beyond not having a range of world class museums/galleries/theatres etc?

It's not half a GCSE in all schools. It was a whole GCSE in my DC's so you'd need to check Autofill as it seems like it differs.

would want to rent for about £2750 a month in Wales so we could cover our mortgage and rent with the London income.

TBH you will struggle to find many properties to chose from at that price, as that is really at the luxury end of the rental market for Cardiff.

Yes, that is one of the things my kids hated - going from one of the leading cities in the world to a small one.

That’s going to be a shock. I’d keep your London hse if you can until you’re certain it’s for you and permanent. Do you work? Losing your friends network and support will be difficult, working gives you somewhere to fit into straight away.

Op, is it an option for your husband to work in Wales and come back to you and the kids in London at weekends? Sounds like a huge upheaval.

Cardiff has world class museums, galleries and theatres. I'd much rather see a show at the Millennium Centre than a West End theatre. Cardiff Museum and Gallery is so much easier to access than anywhere in London and far less rude, pushing people. There may be less of things because, well, it's obviously smaller, but they aren't of a different class.

In what other ways is it different? The people are friendly, transport is great, you can park and drive in the city centre with ease, you're ten minutes away from the Welsh countryside, there are plenty of things to do without everything being extortionate prices, crime rates are lower, schools are better, there are no awful tubes.

I know both cities, can't stand London. Cardiff is wonderful.

I’m based 20 mins outside Cardiff and love it. I moved to the south east for a few years but longed to come home. The cost of living is enormously better here! Cowbridge and llandaff are lovely. I agree there can be an element of small mindedness from welsh people but mainly because there is very little diversity and hardly anyone moves away (people are happy to stay in the town/village they grew up in) so not much to challenge opinions. If your children are secondary school age I would convince the school that they don’t need to learn welsh (unless they want to have a go) most schools will go along with this if you give a reasonable suggestion (like sitting at the back doing maths without fuss) they may have to be entered for the exam but not sit it. If you can afford to work less than full time then I’d highly recommend volunteering or joining something in your new community as the welsh are much more likely to know their neighbours than SE. I’m in a town that’s not where I grew up and on maternity leave, I have been amazed by the groups/events on and kept busy while making some new friends!

If you are likely to be ill setting DH up with an awful commute from Bath/Bristol sounds like a bad idea. I agree with another poster that renting before buying might be a good plan. If not, maybe air bnb for some experiments on what different places are actually like.

I’d go with Penarth/Cowbridge/Pontcanna/Lisvane/Whitchurch I think.

Your current attitude might well form a barrier to making friends with the locals.

Well I love cardiff. Lived there for ten years, now live in Abergavenny. I loved that you could live in a decent sized city, with museums, good restaurants, theatre, live music, shopping etc but be within half an hour of lovely beaches, amazing countryside, hills to walk up and trails to cycle on. I found it a very friendly place to live but agree it’s not as multicultural as London. The schools are generally very good, with excellent option for private education if that’s what you want. I’d look at pontcanna, llandaff, Whitchurch if you want to live in the city.

This isn’t to do Cardiff a dis service but it’s parochial. As any smallish city would be. It’s a population of about 330k versus 8 m in london or whatever it is these days.