Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

419 replies

AutoFillUsername · 11/11/2018 21:46

Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

OP posts:
Unfinishedkitchen · 12/11/2018 07:07

I wouldn’t risk it. Brexit will hit Wales very hard. London will be able to withstand the financial hit better and come out of the downturn quicker. If DH loses the job in Cardiff, it may not be easy to get another great one quickly.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/11/2018 07:15

That’s a good point ^, how secure would that new job be?

I couldn’t wait to leave London, but haven’t moved that far away. But you don’t want to leave London - it’s screaming out from all your posts.

I’d stay put, or move to a cheaper London house to free up some money.

2018Already · 12/11/2018 07:15

Don’t do it. I recently moved (from big city to a smaller one) and I regret it every day. It’s not a problem with the place, it’s that I was perfectly happy where I was. If I could go back in time I would. I don’t even have kids to think about. You need to think about all the things you’ll lose by moving, not just the things you expect to gain.

TroysMammy · 12/11/2018 07:17

lizzie1970a museums and theatres are not the b all of culture. There are loads of castles in South Wales, more than I believe are in London. It doesn't always rain in Wales and we have slightly more beaches and forests than London. Also there is a railway which goes direct to London too.

OP the only way you are going to find out things about Wales is to go there yourself and not get worked up about a load of randoms on the internet.

Floottoot · 12/11/2018 07:30

Cowbridge isn't as nice as first impressions might suggest - I've lived there for 18 years since moving from Surrey.
Yes, the area is beautiful, but house prices are hugely inflated, the high Street is dying, 'newcomers' aren't welcomed ( for that, read the English).
The phrase " fur coat and no knickers" is often used to describe Cowbridge and some of its residents.

Don't believe the league tables when it comes to the secondary school either. We've had to make the decision to send both DCs to private school after DD soent a truly miserable and damaging year in the comp.

Pontcanna, Llandaff, Penarth are all nice areas with good private and state schools, or look further out towards Monmouth.

SerenDippitty · 12/11/2018 07:36

Cardiff and it’s environs has

The National Museum Of Wales
The Museum Of Welsh Life at St Fagans
The Roman Legionary Museum at Caerleon

Venues:
The Wales Millennium Centre
St David’s Hall
Motorpoint Arena
Welsh College Of Music and Drama
New Theatre
Sherman Theatre
It doesn’t do too badly.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 12/11/2018 07:39

Autofill - you have ONE person on this thread who doesn't like Wales and had a bad experience there. One person. Everyone else is saying they like it, or recommending nice areas.

I bet I could drum up far more people who wouldn't live in London if you paid them. (Me included). I really don't understand why though you'd pile onto a thread asking for recommendations to share how shit you think it all is.

Lovemademedoit · 12/11/2018 07:40

When would he be starting his job op?

I know a few people who relocated from London and the south west to Cardiff for work. One commuted for a year staying in Cardiff in the week and going home at weekends then brought his wife and teenage family and settled in Wales. Another commuted over the bridge every day for years. He must have been mad but his wife and children did not want to move.

BikeRunSki · 12/11/2018 07:43

I second Cowbridge and Penarth.

If I were moving back to S Wales now, i’d go coast rather than valleys I think.

Violinboymum · 12/11/2018 07:45

Also, don’t forget that in some industries it is very hard to secure a job in London without a current experience with one of the London employers. I don’t know what your DH does for a living, but if he is high up in finance/advertisement he might struggle to find another high paying job back in London after a few years in Cardiff if you change your mind.

whiteroseredrose · 12/11/2018 07:46

I'd look at Henleaze in North Bristol. Lovely Victorian /Edwardian terraces.

According to Google maps it's an hour's drive into Cardiff at the moment (7.30am Monday morning). My DH did a slightly longer commute over the Pennines for 6 years. Interesting stuff on the radio and it's perfectly doable.

Bristol is lovely and a lot more welcoming than Bath. In Henleaze you're near to Clifton and the Downs but it's not so studenty. The state schools used to be awful (I don't know about now) so there are lots of private schools as a result.

Bristol has lots of different suburbs each with its own feel or vibe and is very cosmopolitan.

London is straight down the M4 (DH and I started our relationship with him in Clifton and me in West London) and again doable.

Catsize · 12/11/2018 07:53

Llandaff is gorgeous and a bus/walk to the city. Not sure what your health issues are, but the air quality is soooo much better thank London.

Original poster
AutoFillUsername · 12/11/2018 07:57

Thanks again for all your suggestions and thoughts.

We are going down later this week to look at his place of work & explore Cardiff. It may well be sensible for me and the kids to stay put a few months while DH settles and we get to know our options.

This thread has also made me think about our options in London. People are right we could downsize here and that would allow me to work less. Oddly I’ve always dismissed that as too hard but I realise that is quite closed minded of me. However, there is still lots to think about as DH excited by the idea of this job even though I know he wouldn’t force a move.

My year 8 is still only 12 so I think if we are going to move it has to be now or never, before she really gets used to being a teenager in London. Having said that she announced at breakfast that if we move she’s like to stay with her grandparents in London. That’s not going to happen but it was an eye opening reaction. Our middle child is much more excited, serendipitously she’s always talked very fondly about Wales since she did a riding holiday there. The youngest hasn’t got a clue!

OP posts:
MsTSwift · 12/11/2018 08:04

Could your dh work there during the week maybe do a day working at home? Many friends of ours have one of them working like this and it works.

It’s very subjective of course but my blood ran cold at reading your post. Lived in Cardiff and London. My friend settled in Cardiff she had to move her kids into private schools as the state welsh schools had very low aspirations/ expectations of the children compared to English schools. Everything is better even in Bristol. I personally would not make that move no way.

Didiusfalco · 12/11/2018 08:05

If you’ve got a nanny and your house would rent for 4.5k then you have options. When my parents moved us across the country it was because my dad had lost his job and they were starting to feel desperate. You sound like you’re about to make what could be, for you, a mistake when actually your hand is not being forced.

MsTSwift · 12/11/2018 08:07

Oh and I have a year 8 child we jokingly talked about moving and she firmly said exactly the same - she would live with granny or her friend eves family rather than move away. I would only move if you absolutely have to

bubbles108 · 12/11/2018 08:08

Yes - I agree that this is all about DH. Why does the whole family have to move for his new job? Commuting and see how you feel about Wales when you go and see him, sounds eminently sensible.

IceRebel · 12/11/2018 08:17

I think it's rather off that your husband applied for a job so far away without mentioning it before he was offered the position. I don't understand the embarrassment factor, such a big move should have been discussed with the family before he applied.

I think given it was solely his decision to apply, he should try the job for around 6 months before you commit to a permanent move.

Trampire · 12/11/2018 08:24

I'm in Bristol and I love Cardiff. We often visit because they are concerts, shows and events on in Cardiff that aren't on in Bristol.

I originally come from North Wales but never really knew Cardiff growing up. I've lived in a London and found it quite depressing but I was alone and penniless at the time so that's somewhat tainted it. I still regularly visit London fir work and the odd weekend - but I'm always glad to leave it for something less hectic.

People are right that no city will be like London. In Bristol we need a car for instance because the public transport is so shit. It's a quite a small city too (compared to London) but we love it and feel very at home here.

I've always found Cardiff easy to navigate. We've had great meals out, fun days down at the Bay and concerts/shows in the evening.

My dh commutes to Cardiff from Bristol for 18 months for work. Hard in the winter but very doable.

I have a friend who's an Emmy Award winning songwriter who lives in Cardiff with her Actor husband. She chose to live in Cardiff. She has the most amazing place! Her dds love it!

Any move is scary OP.

Original poster
AutoFillUsername · 12/11/2018 08:26

To be fair to DH a lot of the driver for him applying for this job is my newly diagnosed auto immune condition. He wants to find a way to persuade me to work less to safeguard my health. A case in Point is I’ve been working 55 hour weeks for the last couple of months trying to do justice to a big project and with those hours he didn’t want to stress me further with thoughts of a potential move. I really think he was being kind rather than selfish, maybe misguided but his heart was in the right place.

OP posts:
seventhgonickname · 12/11/2018 08:29

Go for it and try being positive.12 year olds can be dramatic and she can visit Grandparents.
I would go coastal too.
You are renting so not cutting entirely and if your health is better,your husband happy then what have you to loose really?

Tubie · 12/11/2018 08:32

. Why move somewhere that is lovely and then exclude your partner for over 2 hours a day from it ecery weekday. I'd prioritise the ability to slash the commute rather than consider over an hour each way from Bristol. An extra hour at breakfast a

MsTSwift · 12/11/2018 08:34

It just seems quite a drastic solution to your issues the phase throwing the baby out with the bath water springs to mind.

Still only you know - many think Cardiff is marvellous many would hate it. Personally no way. I took the family back to show them my old haunts and dh trying to be positive said he was sure we would enjoy seeing the nice bit my response this is the nice bit!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 12/11/2018 08:35

OP, you will find people living in or from Cardiff and Wales will, very understandably, extol its virtues. You will find people who have visited but never lived in London, or who have lived there but whose roots are from somewhere else, telling you how awful it is and how they would move like a shot.

The reality is that it’s your life, and your perspective that is going to count.

I’ve lived in lots of places in the UK, from urban to very, very rural.
There is a difference between London and everywhere else. You either love the difference or hate it, but it’s undeniably there.

It’s a big move to be contemplating. Could your family cope with your DH doing a weekly commute and staying in a B&B Monday to Thursday?