What the fuck?! Santa?

[flumpybear]

Help - do I tell my 10 year old, year 5 that Santa is not real? She's just told me the boys st school have told her it's fake and it's parents and asked me ... help!
We also have a 6 year old boy who told me when he was 3 Santa was fake - said it many times since but still 'believes' ... apparent ... I'm not sure if he's digging or hiding his knowledge lol!!

What did you do!

AIBU to lie still?

Micromanaged, I plan to do this only once they question it, OP's daughter is questioning it and she wants a way to explain Santa isn't real.

Personally my daughter loves to spoil other people and I know that though she would be sad to know the truth she would take great enjoyment from being in charge of such a secret.

My DD is just about to turn 12, she told me a few weeks ago that she “knew”. We were out shopping and every time she saw something she liked she’d say “Hey Santa I like this”

She then told me that she kind of suspected last year, but she was well impressed with how I’d managed to pull it off for so long! (I do love to go all out with Christmas magic)

She’s been full of questions since she told me “Hey, how did you do xxx?” and is excited she gets to be involved in the magic this year for her younger brother

When she was 9 my goddaughter asked me how long she had to pretend to believe in Santa because she didn't want to upset her Dad.

Tell her it’s a very nice story, because it is, and own up.

I wish my 10yo would not believe! For the last two years I have done nothing to actively encourage the myth (other than that she gets a stocking and writes a letter to Santa). However, she still seems to believe unless she is incredibly good at acting.
her sisters both twigged before this age.

As a child we were never encouraged to believe Father Christmas was real and we didn’t have stockings (just wrapped gifts under the tree). No presents were ever said to be from FC. I never believed he was real, but I occasionally would wonder “what if?”.

I’m 36 now and on Christmas Eve I still have a quick glance at the sky at night!

Christmas can still be magical for a child without the firm belief that FC is a real person; there’s so much about Christmas that is just so wonderful.

I did however as a child used to believe that EVERY time we watched a movie the actors were playing it out there and then for us!

beyondlittlehouse.com/2009/12/24/yes-mary-and-laura-there-is-a-santa-claus/

When Laura Ingalls Wilder and her sister Mary were getting older, they asked their Ma about Santa Claus. Ma said they were so big now they knew he couldn't be just one person - he was in the Big Woods, in Indian Territory, in Plum Creek, and far away in New York state. Mary said she thought he was like angels. Then Ma said that Santa Claus was everywhere, and he was all the time. Whenever someone was unselfish, that was Santa Claus. Christmas was a time when everyone stopped being selfish and wanted to make other people happy. On Christmas morning you saw what that had done.

You could explain to her about St. Nicholas. He was the bishop of Myra, in Asia Minor (now Turkey). He was known for being a generous man. Once, a poor man had no money for his daughters to have a dowry. When his oldest was ready for marriage, Nicholas threw a bag of gold in the window. The girl made a good marriage. He did likewise with the two younger daughters. The third time, the father caught him outside and begged his blessing. In the years after his death, people began to remember the generosity of Nicholas and began to give one another presents in his name. Santa Claus is a corruption of the Dutch Sinterklaas, or St. Nicholas. In some European countries (such as Holland and Ukraine), St. Nicholas brings gifts for the children. Often they receive their gifts on December 6, rather than Christmas, because that is the feast of St. Nicholas.

I'll tell my kids that I buy the presents and send them to Santa and he then brings them back. He also only brings them back if the kids have been good.

I very much doubt that any 10-year-old really believes that Father Christmas, elves, flying reindeer exist in anything other than stories and fantasy. Most children realise there is a difference between fairytale and reality, but that doesn't stop them enjoying the fairytale.

I think if a child asks, they should be told the truth.

@Housemum

Buy her the 'Superfudge' book or audiobook by Judy Blume.

Seriously. Here is your answer.
wcrz.com/how-to-explain-santa-to-children/

I think if anything children can end up believing longer and are more shocked when they find out because there is so much focus on Santa/FC, so many more movies about him, so many cartoon specials and so many decorations and hype and even a website that tracks his movements NORAD or that fake Santa video thing you can get Portable North Pole, letter that come from Santa etc etc

My nine yr old questioned it all last year, but she was upset and wanted the truth so after deflecting the question a couple of times I told her nicely that it was a lovely tradition but the parents did it, she was upset at first but now it is no big deal and she still adores Christmas.

both of mine, 10 and 19 know that if they decide Santa is not real then he stops bringing santa gifts..... they can make the choice

Tell her! It'll be a relief when you do. When i told mine there is no santa it felt great to stop lying and be honest with them and they were pleased to be treated like intelligent people and told the truth. Why do we tell our kids this crappy story of a man they don't know visiting every kids bedroom in one night down non-existent chimneys while teaching them science at primary school?

Tell them both and encourage them to spread the truth to their friends, see if they come back with 'so and so's mum says you're a liar' or if the other parents fess up when asked by their kids.

I think if we let our children believe that “the world is a horrible place” we are doing them a huge disservice. Surely we should be teaching them that it’s a wonderful place full of possibilities. Yes some things are shit but not everything and making children expect unremitting greyness and misery when they reach adulthood is wrong.
Keeping the FC story alive for younger siblings and friends is part of the excitement of growing up.

My DM told me at 10 or 11 that Father Christmas wasn't real, and got me involved in doing stockings for younger DB. FC still brings us presents a decade later though, as well as huge hauls for DD

Every year there are the same threads on here and every year there are always some nasty posters with the absurd and critical thinking comments , ,my son was year 5 when i told him he had been asking for a while so i think he only half beleived anyway his birthday is boxing day so he was nearly 10, hes just started high school , i wouldnt send a child to high school still beleiving because at that age other kids cannbe cruel.

At some point they just know. I have kept the Santa fiction for my DCs 11 and 13. For a few years they have said there’s no such person. We make a joke of it. “Oh dear, well that’s a shame. Santa won’t want to deliver presents if you don’t believe in him”etc. I don’t think there’s a need to sit them down and make a thing of it personally.

My 16 year old said

I know santa cant exist but i cant figure out how else the presents get there on Christmas day...so he must do

I worry about that child

When we were asked we just said 'what do you think?'

My DS questioned the logistics of FC when he was around 6 so I told him FC was a Time Lord. He is now nearly 9 and still believes. Only works if you watch Dr Who though.

My DSs are 20 & 18. In our house santa brought ALL the gifts. Meaning there wasnt a single gift under the tree until xmas morning then when you woke up he had delivered 1 gift from himself along with all the gifts from relatives & friends etc.
The DC knew he had arrived because Santa would fill their empty stocking & hang it on their bedroom door with a game or dvd in it to keep them busy till morning time.
When DS1 was 16 i thought enough! I put gifts under tree as they arrived and didnt to the stocking thing.
DS1 pulled me aside after xmas and asked me never to do that again. It had totally spoiled xmas for him. Even though he didnt believe he still loved the charade and the stocking etc.
Last year i (sneaked) upstairs to put stockings on doors, and retrieve the mince pie my 20 year old had left out when he came back from the pub, and i hit the squeeky stair 3rd from the top & they both shouted "Thanks Mum".
So leave the 10 year olds alone ....if even a large 6ft 3 manchild wants to indulge in a bit of xmas cheer, theres nothing wrong with it [santa].

My mum asked me at that age what I thought, I said I knew it wasn't true but wanted to still pretend so she continued the pretence until I was 12 and was ready to let it go...

@HellsGrandma
Op, please do not take the advice of this poster. That is cruel and unkind. It isn't your decision to decide how other families do Christmas.

Dd is 10, and as I'm good friends with all the mums, and we talk, we know the class is evenly split with those who know, and those who don't. Those who know have been asked to keep the magic for the others, and as they are kind children who have been brought up by kind parents, they will do just that.