What the fuck?! Santa?

[flumpybear]

Help - do I tell my 10 year old, year 5 that Santa is not real? She's just told me the boys st school have told her it's fake and it's parents and asked me ... help!
We also have a 6 year old boy who told me when he was 3 Santa was fake - said it many times since but still 'believes' ... apparent ... I'm not sure if he's digging or hiding his knowledge lol!!

What did you do!

AIBU to lie still?

My response would be of course he's real. And then as they get older they know it's not but still pretend. I did this for years. Even as a teenager, we all knew it was pretend but played along.

10 year old needs to know, but involve her in making it special for younger D.C. my parents did this and after the initial outrage at the lies and it made me feel grown up. Was 9 when I finally figured it out myself...

No one needs to know. Why. I don't remember ever being told he wasn't real. If I asked my answer I got was of course he's real. The magic and belief (even though I knew it wasn't real) lasted so much longer because of it

@ProfessorMoody
www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/12/when-do-kids-stop-believing-in-santa/383958/

I recently was speaking to my oldest child who said he found it annoying when he asked me about Santa whether he was real or not and I would pretend he was. He said all his friends would tell him he wasn't! So next time round i'll be more honest :s

Be honest unless you want your child being ridiculed at school. The magic of Christmas doesn't disappear for them ~ tell them the origins of Santa and the story of St Nicholas - and get them to wrap surprises for younger kids or charity donations to the Sally Army or someone who distribute gifts to the needy

That's not reliable research. HTH.

What's your basis for saying the studies are unreliable? I appreciate I posted a link to a press articles and not the studies themselves, but you have concerns with the methodology of the studies? What are they?

I would expect a child at the top end of juniors or starting secondary school to have enough critical thinking to realise that Santa is not literally real. Flying round the entire world in one night with magic reindeer and a sleigh that can hold enough presents for everyone is just too unlikely. I accept that they may claim to believe or play along because they want to prolong it but unless they are learning disabled it must have occurred to them to question it, especially as the others in their class start to realise. DS2 is 7 and I'm expecting this year to be his last year of Santa being real.

10 is far too old to believe in fc

I had 'the conversation' with my then 9yo DTDs at the beginning of the year. DTD1 woke up when the tooth fairy snuck into their room, and the next day she wanted to know if the tooth fairy was real or if had been me all along. I had to tell her the truth, and she wasn't too upset. She then of course asked about Father Christmas, and I had to tell the truth. So now they know. It hasn't spoilt their enthusiasm for Christmas one bit though .

I think this varies from school to school, area to area. In the area I live, all of the children (that I know of) in dd2s year 3 class still believe, that would be the norm, and in dd1s year 5 class, somebelieve and Some dont. They certainly wouldn't be ridiculed for still believing at ten.

The first one is from 1978 in Texas for a start

My DS is a fantastic critical thinker. He still believes, because any questions have been answered with, "magic".

Its really sad to see how many people think 10 is too old for magic. No wonder things are like they are these days.

I don't think a 10 year old believing in magic is a good thing at all.It leaves them vulnerable.

Vulnerable to what?

My 21yo has never asked 😂 so, from a baby, Santa left what's in the stocking, we buy what's under the tree. He still has a stocking, there's some good (Poundland) stuff in there!!

I don't envy you! Good luck.

The first one is from 1978 in Texas for a start
And subsequent, more modern studies and surveys have been in line with the 1978 study.

If anything, given the advent of the internet you'd expect belief to drop off earlier today than 50 years ago.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong about believing until an older age btw, but belief being common at 10 doesn't track with my anecdotal experiences or the surveys and studies that do exist.

This thread makes me sad, my DC are 9 and 10 (11 tomorrow) and I know this is the last year they will genuinely believe :'( I m not sure they ll break the news to me though........

I agree with all the PPs who say you can believe as long as you like. My DTs are 10 and recently DS said 'well I still believe in Father Christmas' unprompted - so clearly there have been conversations in their class. DD is more switched on (she challenged me about the tooth fairy a couple of years ago and I came clean, but when she said 'what about Santa?' I said - oh no, that's totally different, I couldn't possibly drop presents down everyone's chimneys could I....? and she seemed to buy it. But I suspect she has her doubts). In the past when discussing the logistics, I have always said it wasn't magic really, just science that we don't understand, like the wind or the universe etc - and they were fine with that...... Anyway - they can't possibly 100% believe and certainly won't be picked on at secondary over it - but they are clearly happy to 'believe' for the moment, and I think that's lovely!

and for everyone who said 10. is too old to believe, we go on several visits to santa every year, the DC want to go and visit him at all of our regular places this year too. they may be older than most of the queue but if they still believe in the magic I m not ruining that for them, the world is a horrible place and adult life is tough, I m letting them believe in the magic as long as possible!!

Not sure if someone else has said it but I have seen and will probably use this way for my kids.....

Tell them that now they are old enough you can let them in on the secret (this works especially well if they have younger siblings/family/friends that still believe), people who are old enough and responsible enough are entrusted with bringing the magic of Christmas alive for the little ones, this includes Santa and any other traditions that you do in the guise of 'magic'. Then let them help prepare Christmas this year, helping to stuff Santa sacks in secret, telling magical stories on Christmas eve etc.

Good Luck, hope it goes well.

let them help prepare Christmas this year, helping to stuff Santa sacks in secret

Ds1 is 10, I think that would be a sure fire way to completely stamp out any of the magic of Christmas for him tbh.

Just read the replies - how sad that people think she it too old, Christmas Grinches indeed! I hope our kids still believe in magic at that age.

Last year my daughter got given a chocolate bar (she is almost 6 now) and ate a bit of it, while we were all having a shower I snuck out and replaced it with a new one (opened a new one and put it in the open packet), and she got so excited about her magical chocolate bar that she has wished for one this year again for Santa. I plan to continue this for as many years as possible and also do the same with out son once he is old enough.

There's enough bad in the world, let them believe in magic as long as possible.

Thanks guys - next time she asks I will fess up! She's quite a fairy type child anyway who believes in lovely things like tooth fairies and the like ❣️ bless her heart