What the fuck?! Santa?

[flumpybear]

Help - do I tell my 10 year old, year 5 that Santa is not real? She's just told me the boys st school have told her it's fake and it's parents and asked me ... help!
We also have a 6 year old boy who told me when he was 3 Santa was fake - said it many times since but still 'believes' ... apparent ... I'm not sure if he's digging or hiding his knowledge lol!!

What did you do!

AIBU to lie still?

I’ve always said, once the question started at around 9yrs - ‘well if you don’t believe, he may not come.’ I made sure to say it in a jokey complicit way, so never actually voiced his non- existence! Still do it - they are 38 and 36 now. Selection box only these days!

I like the approach of the famous ‘Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus’ letter: www.lettersofnote.com/2009/12/yes-virginia-there-is-santa-claus.html

Whatever you decide, please don’t let her start secondary school still believing. As a teacher I have seen quite a few year 7 faces crumple at an offhand remark from another pupil about the big man.

I doubt either of them still believe in Santa but are worried about telling you.

Yes, tell them both the truth.

Dd(10) asked and her little face fell so badly as I was telling her I furiously backtracked and took the 'what do you think?' tack. She knows really though. In the same conversation she asked me to promise I would not let her reach 18 without knowing all the secrets so I think she's just decided to believe a bit longer.

Jock same with my nearly 17yo. It just hasn't been mentioned. 😂

I think she knows to keep schtum and the pressies will keep on coming.

I am incredulous that a 10 year old might still believe in Santa Claus - the absurdity of the whole thing is apparent long before they are that age, surely??

Well Santa only comes if you believe in him. If you don't believe then dad and I have to get the presents, and do you think that we'd get you presents as nice as Santa?

At 10 they are old enough to know, it gets a bit embarrassing otherwise....

Just show them the picture

@Thehop this is sooo lovely

I am incredulous that a 10 year old might still believe in Santa Claus - the absurdity of the whole thing is apparent long before they are that age, surely??

Agree.

when mine said Father Christmas wasnt real I didnt confirm or deny I just said dont say that to your Dad he believes in him -btw we still dont put any presents out on Christmas Eve until the kids are in bed - those kids are 25, 23 and 20!

Remember we now live in a modern world

As children we didn't dare let on to our parents when we no longer believed, for fear of our Christmas stockings no longer being filled!!

I always say that what do you think, and if they are really at the point of scoffing, I start my Santa speech

"I don't worry about what other people think, but I believe in Santa. To me Santa is about giving someone something with no expectation of getting anything in return. It is true generosity as it takes time and thought to make it work. In our house Santa only gives to those who believe in the spirit of Santa and those who believe also have the responsibility to keep the magic alive for the little ones. What do you think you would like to believe in?"

When I have kids I'm going to do this with them.

www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/a41821/how-to-tell-kids-about-santa/

Mine have never 'believed', in the sense that they have never been encouraged to believe in the 'reality' of Father Christmas.

Father Christmas is a lovely story that we tell about Christmas. It's based on a very lovely older myth, which again is based on some evidence of a historical figure. In that way, it's like the Nativity story, and in the same way, some people believe it is literally true, some say it is a story with a deeper meaning, and some don't have it in their tradition at all.

We tell the story, and do the stockings, and talk about Father Christmas, and track him on NORAD, but we do all know it is a story - make believe is fantastic, as it is when you 'are' a train driver or a football star or a cook or a cat, and all the grown-ups in the family love to join in - and all that fun can be have without pretending it is real.

Some families like to make the story seem as if it is real for their youngest children, and it wouldn't be polite to tell them not to [tbh, this has never arisen - because there's never been a big mystery, or a big reveal, it's never seemed important enough to share]

“The magic is real for as long as you believe, and believing is your choice, even now that you’re getting to be so big. When your friends tell you that Santa is not real, they are correct. He isn't real for them anymore. If you believe he is real, then he is.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. St Nicholas was a real man that lived a long time ago and the magic of his story lives on. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can't see or touch.

Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents, and in your family.

You can keep Santa alive in your heart for as long as you want to do so.”

^^ This is the gist of what I told DD.

Gosh, there are some really horrible people on MN these days, aren't there? Using words like incredulous and absurd, about a 10 year old believing in Santa?

My DS is in Year 6 and still believes, as do many of his classmates. Many of the Year 6 classes I've taught have still believed. It's not absurd, 10 year olds are still children.

For me, if he asks, I'll tell him the truth. If he doesn't, I won't. This is probably our last year but for now, I'll keep the magic alive. Children aren't children for long - what's the rush? And using derogatory words for those that still believe is just plain horrible.

Don;t tell them. They often don't want the truth.

Place marking as I need to keep this thread, as the time is probably coming soon.
Dd is 10 and either still believes, or is not going to dare suggest otherwise, just in case.
So, I have no way of knowing for sure, as I can't be the one to bring it up.

Nothing wrong with kids still believing in santa.

He's no less real than mucky mouse or Spider-Man

It is unusual for kids to still believe at ten and I wouldn't encourage it at that age, but I think the "what do you believe?" approach is a good way to develop critical thinking skills. I enjoy how lots of kids adopt a 'Pascal's Wager' sort of approach.

It is unusual for kids to still believe at ten

Research please?