to expect an full invitation to a family wedding, not just an evening one?

[tinytotmummy]

Long story but will try to cut as much as poss. Dh's cousin split with her husband nearly four years ago and there was some annomosity between us all as for a while we sided with him for various reasons. However, Dh has tried really hard over the past 18 months to try and put things right and had assumed all this had blown over. Bit shocked when today received an evening invitation for her wedding just for us (no mention of children), especially as Dh's older daughter is being her bridesmaid and being escorted by her boyfriend. Feel upset more than angry and don't know whether to graciously accept or not go. TIA

i think you are being unreasonable to be honest. its their day and their choice i dont know the background but maybe your cousin is still hurt after you sided with her ex.

If you are only invited to a bit of the wedding, you need only get them a bit of a present!

Seriously, I would imagine that cost is an issue for them; accept and have a good night out.

I completely imagine it's a cost thing rather than a snub!

Weddings are tricky. And I think they're boring too, for the most part. All that sitting around tables where the couple have mixed up their friends an no one knows each other!!!!

I can't bear this whole concept of 'evening do's.' It's too awkward to try to have essentially two separate events - a wedding and a cocktail party - in one go. People invariably end up feeling miffed - so it defeats the purpose of trying to "include" them.

Tiny I can see why you feel a bit left out. I'm still smarting from the the one time DH and I did go to one, and the couple had invited only about 10 people for evening only. I felt like I had "B TEAM" emblazoned on my forehead! Included their gift list in the B list invite as well.

I nearly fell out with my Dad a few years ago over a wedding invitation.
My brother's EX (and mother on his son) was getting married to her boyfriend (and father of her second child) of many years. I was invited to the wedding as she and I are still very close friends (couldn't go sadly as I was in NZ). My parents were sent an invitation to the evening do as a note of respect (being the grandparents of her son). I thought it was lovely gesture and she didn't need to do it but she did out of respect to my parents.
My father was incensed and highly offended and refused to go at all. He thought they should have had an invitation to the whole thing.
I was [shocked] and pretty speechless by the whole affair and couldn't apologise to my friend enough for their behaviour. It was highly embarrassing.
It is not surprising that my parents don't see their grandson at all any more

I hate this kind of thing when it comes to weddings. I can't stand it when people get shirty about 'No Children' policies too.

Tinytotmum ... I am glad you have decided what to do about it ... I hope you have a fab time

My niece is getting married in September.Both her and her Fiamce come from large families. She would love to invite everyone to the whole wedding, but this just isn't possible both from lack of space and money.
So yes I think you are being unreasonable.

I thought it was just my cousin cheeky enough to include gift list with evening only invite! I wouldn't have minded but they had a VERY small (immediate family only) wedding to save costs, but they still expected all the pressies!
I didn't go. Small children are a great get out clause for evening things .

Im getting married next month and think you are being unreasonable becuase its a very expensive do. You cant invite everyone even if you want to, i have had to invite a lot of people just to the eveing reception because we cant afford to invite everyone all day. I think if you decided not to attend because you havent been invited all day or because your children havent been invited then its a bit petty really, and i'd rather you didnt come if you felt that way!

I have to agree and say I think you are being unreasonable. Regardless of the circumstances its their day and they should be able to celebrate it as they wish without having to worry about what everyone else wants.

Children or not, partners or not and full invite or evening are all difficult decisions to make when you are arranging a wedding and the decision of the couple involved should be respected so they can have the day they want - sod everyone else!

I do think you shouldn't send gift lists with evening invites though - I think its a bit cheeky! You can always send one later if the guests request it

i would be pleased to get a gift list with pm invite - saves me thinking about what to get - buy now while cheaper things are still on it!

I really don't like the fact that some guest are made to feel more importnat than others. I think that people should be invited to everything and wedding days should be seperated into different parties. I think that's the reason DP and I haven't got married we can't stand the politics of it all!

I've been invited to two evening-only weddings and one couple made sure to include their gift list link, the other didn't but did give the code for discounted overnight accomodation in the hotel if we wanted it.