To think my daughter shouldn’t be called a bitch

[Fettuccinecarbonara]

My daughter is 10 and in year 6 of primary school.

Lots of issues around friendships which teachers are aware of.

Today the girls of year 6 were taken into a room by a teacher and spoken to about how they interacted with one another. During this speech the teacher called them all bitches, then later said that this bitching had to stop.

Aibu to think there was no need to use this terminology. The message could have been gotten across without using such language.

Lass

women and girls are not only less than boys and men

Where do you get this idea? If a boy is called a 'little bugger', is it validating the idea that boys and men are less than girls and women?

that they are mean and nasty in a special female way

I do believe that some girls and some women can be mean and nasty in a special female way. Biologically, they don't have the strength to engage in physical fights. Nastiness is more often verbal or expressed in exclusion or facial expressions. Emotional rather than physical aggression.

Yes - this is a generalisation and there is a cross-over. Girls will fight, especially in an all-girls school where the absence of boys leads to a vacuum that some girls are disposed to fill. But generally it's true, ime as a mother and a teacher.

So long as bitchy behaviour exists, banning the word achieves nothing.

@Thymeout I have never known 'little bugger' to be used to specifically aim towards someone's sex?
Bastard would surely be the closest equivalent and I can't imagine a teacher telling a group of ten year olds they where bastards or acting like bastards?
Females are obviously at a much much higher chance of being faced with sexism than males.

It may be regional or class-based, but I've never heard a girl referred to as a bugger, sod or bastard. In reference to badly-behaved boys at parties, the words have certainly crossed my mind. None of them would have seemed as appropriate as bitch for the little girl who seemed to delight in causing mayhem and misery in friendship groups. Would you object to 'thug' and 'thuggish' to describe the behaviour of some Yr6 boys? Unlikely to apply to girls.

Men behave badly. So do women. People behave badly. I don't think hiding behind accusations of sexism addresses the problem.

Perhaps regional.
You can think whatever you like but would you have told those boys they where bastards?
Would you think it was appropriate for an educator to use that language in front of ten year old children?
Personally I wouldn't use the word thug and if I did I wouldn't relate it to a specific gender at all I don't think.
Hiding behind accusations of sexism? Not sure what anyone is hiding from really and if you think when sexist remarks are handed out that people shouldn't say anything....well I'm not sure what that makes you tbh....
I thought it was common knowledge that the term 'bitch' is a sexist and derogatory phrase.

Agree that there is a difference between calling someone a 'bitch' and saying that they have been 'bitching' - for example, I wouldn't describe myself as a bitch, but I have definitely 'bitched' about people in my life. Calling someone a bitch would be saying that they, as a whole person, are a nasty person, and would be wrong. Asking someone to stop 'bitching' would be referring to the singular times that they spoke in a mean way about others- it's not casting judging over them as a person.

Bitch is certainly derogatory and tends only to be used about women or among gay men, ime. But my impression is it's used as often by women as by men. 'Bitching' seems now to be more unisex. Both genders are accused of doing it.

I don't think the words bitch/bitchy behaviour shouldn't be used, if applicable, just because it predominantly refers to women. I'd describe myself as an equal rights feminist. I don't think women are above criticism. I do think there are certain biological traits, which are perhaps magnified in the pre-teen years before puberty. There's a hormonal surge which involves very different, sex-related reproductive hormones.

As to what language the teacher should or shouldn't have used, I think it depends on her relationship with the class and the seriousness of the problem. Sometimes, straight-talking is the way to go.

Bitch or bitching is totally unacceptable to be used by the teacher and I would complain.

"Bitch" or "Bitching"

"to complain and make unkind remarks about someone or something:"

As the teacher was using this to describe the actions of the pupils towards each other it is acceptable for a teacher to use.

Either that or it would be interesting to see what happens at the employment tribunal.

Ask the teacher what she said if you feel you must take issue with her wording, but the fact is there are hundreds of Mumsnet threads about bullying in schools by parents ready to go up all guns blazing to get the teacher to do something about it. This teacher has been trying to fix the situation since the beginning of the year, has had it up to here and had a rant at the girls involved. And if the parents support her stance, maybe the girls will stop being unkind to each other. Then again, if the parents all complain about the teacher's poor wording, perhaps not. The girls will carry on their bullying behaviour, feeling utterly vindicated.