Does everyone on MN - except me - have a high flying highly paid highly stressful job

[IamtheMistressofmyFate]

Is anyone a hairdresser married to a mechanic? Nursery nurse married to a delivery driver?

I keep reading about women having to go back to work or they'll fall off the career ladder and never recover. Everyone seems so BUSY and STRESSED and high flying. Or they've burnt out and have downsized so they can bake bread.

Is anyone else just pootling along like me - not setting the world alight with their brilliance and ambition?

Made redundant 18 months ago. Apparently unemployable. OH is oddly high-flying with ten patents and lots of conference speaking, but a low-ish self-employed income, with occasional big chunks of money coming in. It's complicated.

I'm a mid-level university admin married to a postman. Dad, brother and FIL all in manual trades, mum also an admin. Nothing fancy about us!

@AnonyMousse

Haha I agree. I also feel there are a lot of massive grammar nazis and very judgemental women who I imagine in real life are alike to old fashioned 'matrons' who would also punish me for being left handed.

Ah ha, this is where you are quite wrong my lovely. These highly judgemental women on here are as quiet as Church mice in real life, and would not say boo to a goose.

FYI, I am right handed, but some of the most amazing people I know are 'lefties,' like you.

Who wants to be like everyone else?!

One woman I know is left handed, ginger, AND she was born and raised in a hippie commune in the USA, in the late 1960's. How cool is THAT?

@Hisashai

There is no way that everyone on here is telling the truth. Every second thread it's like 'I earn 60,000 a year' and considering only something like 5% of people earn that much or more, and the vast majority of those are men, so people are definitely bullshitting.

God knows why, maybe their fantasy life is more fulfilling than their actual life

This in spades. And like I said earlier, it's funny how some claim to have these high flying £200K a year jobs, but are always on here!!!

And like someone said earlier in the thread, these women always have super clever kids who are in private school - Eton probably!

All my neighbours are venture capitalists, financial advisors, creative directors of fashion houses and the such.

I’m a bartender in the local pub and my husband is a farm worker.

It’s cool though.

SAHM currently looking for one of these mythical 'school hours' jobs part time. DP is about to train in phlebotomy at the local hospital. My youngest has ASD and from what I've found, there's no childcare around here out of school hours for special needs kids so I'm stuck with school hours and every other weekend availability. Flexible I ain't unfortunately!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a Sahm (or sahd) with high earning spouse.

There is something wrong with being asahp with a high earning spouse and using your spouse's income to claim ownership of some kind of special VIP moral high ground from which to criticise someone else / put others "in their place" by posting "we" pay a billion pounds a year in taxes to support you not working/ using the NHS/ having a lot of children/ using a public service or whatever their bug bear is.

BertrandRussell

Nobody ever has a degree either. They always have a Masters.

That may well be right. When I went to university, when you finished you could get an appropriate job if you came out with a decent degree (and that meant anything which wasn’t a third). Now, because of the vast numbers of people going to university (and a ludicrous percentage of first-class degrees awarded), there are nowhere near enough suitable jobs so a lot of students end up doing Masters to put off being unemployed. To my mind it’s just grade inflation.

I work as an averagely paid civil servant and my fiancé is a coffee shop manager.... household income of 45k and I think that is amazing TBH.

5 years ago I worked as a minimum wage waitress and was truly skint. I would say we are comfortable now.

still manage to end up in the overdraft most months though

I have executive in my job title however I am definitely not a high flyer. I earn less than the national average and married to a sales manager

Given that only 1% of the working population earn six figures I think a lot of people fib

I don't know where you're getting that figure from so it may be right or it may be wrong. There is the old saying about "lies, damned lies and statistics" though. Is that 1% of the total elligible workforce, 1% of those in any kind of work, 1% of those in full-time PAYE employment? Does it factor in all remuneration, only taxable income or only basic salary?

I can only go by what I have direct knowledge of. As said in my PP, I'm on roughly 90K actual. I only moved up to a management grade this year and thus am at the lower end of the pay scale so safe to assume the majority of people at my grade and everyone above it are over 100K. There are 6 layers of management above me. There are are alslo a lot of people working in the organisation who are, on paper, self-employed - they work through their own Ltd company so what they pay themselves in PAYE salary is almost certainly a lot lower than what they are actually earning.

Then there is how total remuneration is comprised. My basic salary is just under 60k so if that is used for the stasitics you refer to then nobody at my grade will come close to the 100k mark. The rest, that would take most at my grade over 100k, is made up of elements some of which are non-taxable, some are taxable but ony when realised in the future (e.g. free shares) and some which are taxable but not through PAYE. Then of course we can salary sacrifice to enhance our pensions. Sure, a lot of people can do that but there's a lot more scope on a high salary than a more modest one.

All that considered, there are a lot of ways statistics can be manipulated to downplay just how well off middle-to-high earners in society actually are. Ask yourself, who is in charge of most published statisitics and who has the most to gain by downplaying earnings and wealth disparity?

MrsFezziwig I agree - a bachelor's degree now is equivalent to A levels 30 years ago.

Interestingly in some countries bachelor's degrees have never really been considered very impressive and are looked upon like the ancient "ordinary" (I e. without honours) degrees which are rarely awarded any more. It took me ages to twig that the reason Germans spend so long at university isn't because theyre constantly drunk and take a very long time to complete enough units of study but because virtually nobody does a bachelor's degree - the Diplom Germans usually graduate with is confusingly actually a bachelor's plus masters qualification.

Everyone having a masters just brings degrees into line with European countries. A bachelor's is mostly an interim stage.

If the government insist 50% of 18 year olds go to university and there are degree awarding institutions now admitting school leavers on unconditional offers after essentially failing their A levels then of course first degrees are becoming an increasingly low value qualification unless in very specific subjects or from specific institutions.

I have a professional well paid job that isn't very stressful. Rare as a hen's teeth.

I'm a doctor married to a finance manager. Sounds high flying but we are not, very fortunate to be in a comfortable position but no large 6 figure salaries (and no desire to chase them).

I have had my children at a point in my career where I can cut my hours down and stay where I am until I am ready to consider progressing again, can't see it happening until children are in secondary school if I'm honest but I am lucky that I can work a few days each week to keep my hand in the profession. Of course job is stressful while I'm there, but my current post means I don't take the stress home with me

Husband earns enough to allow me to cut back my hours and spend time with children but no 6 figure salary. Biggest reward is flexible working as they are a family friendly company. Invaluable on my working days as I don't have any flexibility with my hours (nature of the job so understandable).

Children too young for school but no intention to send private at the moment, fees are extortionate!

No huge house like some describe either, we are in London with a huge mortgage for a small property. We earn enough to have the basic lifestyle we enjoy and value family time far more than work

I work part-time hours in admin job that fits around school whilst my DP is medically discharged from the army and disabled. We live on my income and benefits whilst he does his degree and tackles his mental health issues and disability to get a job again.

Single mum working 30hrs pw as a care assistant.Kids Dad pays no maintenance the tight cunt,so don't have a pot to piss in so I feel like I live on a parallel universe sometimes when I look on here and see that people are recommending £300 winter boots and spending £250 pw on groceries for 2 people!

There is no way that everyone on here is telling the truth. Every second thread it's like 'I earn 60,000 a year' and considering only something like 5% of people earn that much or more, and the vast majority of those are men, so people are definitely bullshitting.

There is a lot more than you give credit for, there was a large amount of threads in the last general election when Corbyn/Labour was going to target anyone over 80K, it was suddenly a mediocre wage and it wasn't any right wing backlash with some posters who had happily virtue signalled they would be happy to pay more tax until it might actually become reality.

I have a job title that sounds fancy but doesn't live up to it. Paid ok but nowhere near high flying! (I hope that will change but realistically im not sure im cut out for it!) however I am stressed because I do a lot more than I should do.

dp is a machine operater in a factory that does steel. Better paid than me and he likes it but again not high flying. he is def not stressed! he can go no faster than the machines allow!

we're ok off, not rich by any stretch!

I have a high-flying, well paid job but it's not stressful and I love it.

I am a SAHM. DH is a builder. Absolutely nothing stressful or high flying about us. We don't have much money but get by well and enjoy camping for our holidays. Sometimes we just camp in our families back gardens

Bog standard, boring, working class family and I love it!

I used to have a highly stressful sales career, was on my way to being high flying but I was constantly being screwed over by other sales people (usually men trying to nab my accounts).

I am now a pub manager. Still stressful in some ways, but nowhere near as bad and definitely not high flying at all. I am home for both school runs and have a social life and job roled into one. Much prefer this life thanks very much!

Depends on age as well. A 50 yr old on 100k with older children who got on the ladder decades ok will be a lot richer than a 30 yr old renting & paying childcare.

TooTrueToBeGood you are bang on.
And most people I know earning what you are are always telling me they "can't afford" this or that, and talking about "how expensive" basic things are..
The fact is in the UK the wages ordinary people can get ( admin/retail etc) are EXTREMELY low in comparison to management type jobs. Interestingly, a couple of people I know who went from low grade public sector admin to higher level management are honest enough to tell me that the higher up and better paid they have got, the less actual work they do!
There'd be a bloody revolution if most people knew what kind of gravy train a lot of civil servants are on, for example.
In my experience the low status low paid jobs (chef, lowest admin) have been by far the most stressful.

On certain threads it's an hilarious a race to see who went to the best RG University, if not Oxbridge. Who manages the largest team. Who works the longest hours. Who is bringing home the higher end of the six figure salaries. Who has travelled to the furthest corner of the earth for work. And then whose husband has also done it all. I also have a little snigger at MNetters who like to tell others that a salary of £40,000 is absolutely shit for a middle aged woman.

In reality most people have boring jobs and high outgoings but are trying to make the most of life. For me personally there was no question of me not going part-time after I had my children and my job will always come second to my family. Most of my friends and acquaintances have taken the same attitude. DH and I both have good jobs but nothing amazing.

I work 28hours in a shop on minimum wage, dh is a painter, we feel quite well off, we can afford holidays abroad and to eat out, I’m happy with my lot
I’m not ambitious and don’t have any self confidence so I’d rather pootle along in my easy job than chase promotions, money and stress

IfNotNowThenWooOoOoo
I’ve moved into the public sector for the progression & pension which more than makes up for the lower pay initially. It was quite an eye opener.