Does everyone on MN - except me - have a high flying highly paid highly stressful job

[IamtheMistressofmyFate]

Is anyone a hairdresser married to a mechanic? Nursery nurse married to a delivery driver?

I keep reading about women having to go back to work or they'll fall off the career ladder and never recover. Everyone seems so BUSY and STRESSED and high flying. Or they've burnt out and have downsized so they can bake bread.

Is anyone else just pootling along like me - not setting the world alight with their brilliance and ambition?

Band 5 nurse in ICU here with a few years left until I could possibly take early retirement Was a Sister for 4 or 5 years. Perfectly capable at it but hated the backbiting and cliqueyness that’s endemic in the nhs so reverted back to a 5 after I’d had 2nd Ds. Currently work part time on a reasonable income for just 8 shifts a month. Dp is a gardener, works his bollocks off but the job is seasonal so not great income in the winter or early spring !

Part qualified accountant here and Dh works in Commercial sales ...by no means high flying! Joint income of 75k but high childcare costs and mortgage repayments to boot!

P/T Civil Servant here. I earn very little though have earned more previously - nothing earth shattering salary wise though, the most I ever earned in a year was £36k. That included a £6k bonus (was a sales manager) and the stress of the job nearly broke me!

It does feel sometimes as if everyone on MN is either improverished, a SAHP with a high earning DH or a high flyer who couldn't live on less than £120k a year. But I suspect that's because the vast majority in the middle don't have situations remarkable enough to post about?

I'm in the middle, a Civil Servant on £63k. Flexible working, some long hours occasionally but I get the time back as leave. Compressed hours so I get a day a fortnight off with DS.

I don't really post about my situation because it's just normal and non-standard. I do love my career but am aware I'll never be super-rich and I'm fine with that.

Not everyone is on the bones of their arse or skint!

I’m a freelancer editor so I’m either a) pootling and living the create-your-own-schedule dream or b) weeping over deadlines at 3am
As a household we’re comfortably in the middle - DH earns a decent amount and more importantly has a lot of flexibility with his hours. I work around kids and postgrad study. If I went back in-house full time I’d earn more but the trade off simply isn’t worth it for me at the moment. I’m fortunate to have the industry experience to command a decent rate p/h with lots of regular clients, and I honestly don’t know if I’d ever go back to my pre children stressy work life.

Public sector earning around national average salary. Due to financial cuts it's become so stressful that since Friday I have been fantasising with having an accident or falling ill so I won't have to go to work on Monday

It often seems to me that people posting on MN either earn £100k or minimum wage/ benefits, not much in between- apparently national average wage is around £27k pa - but this is probably the sum of the few people on very high wages and many on very low wages.

DH and I are around national average - although mine is half of this as I work PT. public sector admin for me, manufacturing engineer for DH.

havelock well, you're very much not in the middle according to this.

www.theguardian.com/money/2017/apr/19/how-much-earn-rich-70000-labour

In fact, you're bordering on the rich.

@HavelockVetinari you're definitely higher than the middle. According to statistics my income of £20k makes me better off than 54% of people in the country so I'd be classed as in the middle!

Havelock of course you’re not in the middle. FFS.

It depends if Havelock lives in London or not. You really can't compare your income with the rest of the UK when you live in London. Everything is vastly more expensive. Someone could be making very good money on paper, but it just doesn't go anywhere because of massive rents and mortgages. It also completely depends on whether your have children, a partner, etc.

I agree that 63k wouldn’t go far in London but it’s still a better than average salary in London. It’s just because housing costs have spiralled in the last 2 decades that your money doesn’t go far.

robotic whether or not she's in London, she's still on a much higher wage than most (yes, even those in London).

Funny how most of us tend to read what triggers a reaction in us! MN comes across as exactly the opposite here, women working pt or sahm constantly moaning about how hard they have it and expressing utter resentment of their oh working FT in a demanding job but who still do so much more at home because looking after children and home is much harder. Much sympathy is given to these posters.

When someone dares to write that they struggle with a demanding and stressful job earning good money, the response is automatically that they've chosen to have a career and if they're not happy, they should give it up, as if it is such an easy decision to make.

I've been friend with all type of mothers from different background, from being sahm to being in high power jobs and there really is no competition in how tiring either can be. However, I definitely believe that holding a job with high responsibilities is certainly more stressful and stress is the hardest to cope with, which is why, almost everywhere in the world, income tends to be directly related with level of responsibility and stress.

Understandably, its not until you are in that role that you really understand what it means to hold a stressful job.

Looking after demanding children was tough and exhausting but I certain slept much better at night than when I have to deal with chairing important meetings with my performance on the day being scrutinised.

I’m in care work and enjoy it

My husband and I are your average earners. He is a chef, me a bank clerk now. I was in a completely different 'niche' financial role earlier in the year, but I contracted meningitis and suddenly health became more important than wealth.

Stuff what anyone else is doing. As long as you are happy it is all that counts.

Office admin. Walk to work. Not so much at the moment, but in most of my jobs I've finished at 5 every day and been home around 5.30.

What I've learnt on MN as well is that people with high wages say they have DECENT wages.
Decent wages means something completely different to how they use it.

A pootling nurse with a pootling Labourer here!

Ive an office job but it is minimim wage. Mechanics, plumbers, electricians and any hairdresser who counted tips would earn far more than i do!

"income tends to be directly related with level of responsibility and stress. "

A job at the bottom can also be very stressful. When someone is being bossed about all day, has no control over their working environment, ect.
I think those people working in the Amazon warehouses are quite stressed.

"A pootling nurse with a pootling Labourer here! "

? I thought nursing was a busy job.
Are you a nurse at a company or something?

I'd actually say that there can be an inverse relationship between income and stress...

My best paid job was only about 50k, though very well paid for my age and the fact it was 25 years ago. 20k of that was bonus. That job was long ish expected hours (10-12 hours between artiving in the morning and leaving at night 5 days per week, travel sometimes involving leaving on Sunday night to start work in a different country on Monday morning) but very easy indeed with a lot of those long hours bring presenteeism and chatting, very long lunches, 2 hours at least once per week - bonus seemed to reflect hours in the office not work done.

Hardest and most stressful job I've ever done is a toss up between my first year teaching in a secondary school (on well under half the office salary above) or an 18 month stint in a care home I did when returning to work in a new country after 10 years as a Sahm having emigrated in the interim. Pay half again the teaching salary, stress different as you didn't take work home but massive while actually working and incredibly hard work with a dreadful line manager who promoted a blame culture and didn't "muck in" at all.

Since then I've been retraining and have a job I love on a teaching type salary and can honestly say that weirdly every salary increase has come with an easier, less stressful role!

I'm a support worker who is married to a taxi driver.

I agree with you @swingofthings.