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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lunch box police

321 replies

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 09:29

Just had a phone call from school and asked if I could go in for a chat regarding dd lunch. She is 6 and in year 2, being in key stage 1 she gets universal free school meals which she has everyday apart from Wednesday. Wednesday is always a roast and the gravy the meat is cooked in gives her an upset stomach. I am irritated as the teacher has looked in dd lunch bag this morning which I feel is out of order if I'm total honest. So the offending item which she has had the last few Wednesday's as there is 10 in a pack is a mini Pick Up Bar. Photo attached for size she has just the 1 biscuit not the 3 that is the actual serving size. Along with the pick up she has a cheese and ham mini wrap with lettuce, cucumber and red onion in, 6 cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a pot of hummus and grapes which are cut into 1/4s. I was a bit taken aback just now on the phone so didn't say much at all, now I need to know what to say at by meeting this afternoon. I would seriously think the school had more to worry about than a flamming fun size biscuit. For back ground we moved into this area recently and dd has only been at the school since the September and such rule was mentioned during induction day in July.

Lunch box police
Lunch box police
Lunch box police
OP posts:
Mountainsided · 07/11/2018 16:01

Wow, if a letter of apology isn’t hand delivered to you tomorrow morning at drop off, then when youve calmed down definitely complain! Getting the wrong child with an anaphylactic allergy is very wrong. They should have apologised when they realised their mistake. The “moving forward” comment is to try and stop you complaining. When a simple apology at the time would have sorted it out for you. People should apologise and it makes people less likely to complain.

Ginger1982 · 07/11/2018 16:04

I would be reporting this to someone, I don't know who, but someone!

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 16:09

I'm still quite shocked by this but yes I will be taking further no doubt about that. I just need to calm down a little first and decide how to deal with it and who to actually complain to as I don't think the head is the right person in this situation.

OP posts:
flossieisbossy · 07/11/2018 16:10

I would ask for a copy of the minutes for that meeting
Facts get diluted over time

SneakyGremlins · 07/11/2018 16:10

I can't get over that they threw away her lunch.

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 16:13

The lunch was not binned it was removed and kept as evidence so to speak.

OP posts:
Miscible · 07/11/2018 16:17

Get a copy of the school's complaints and safeguarding policies, and enter a formal complaint about the fact that (a) they put your child in serious danger by failing to record the lactose intolerance properly and (b) having done that, they dared to accuse you of deliberately endangering your child and did not even bother to apologise. Ask them what they propose to do to ensure there is no repetition with your child or any other, because failing to record an allergy or intolerance properly can have life-threatening consequences.

Cantchooseaname · 07/11/2018 16:18

Safeguarding governor? Highlight how lack of checking the input of info is putting other child at risk?

Eeeeek2 · 07/11/2018 16:20

Bloody hell.

Presumably school has an epi pen for other dc? If so is that epi pen marked and available to be administered to the correct child? I would flag up their major safeguarding mistake for your (other) child.

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 16:20

Am I over reacting to keep dc home until I know everything with d's is sorted, I am scared for this safety at school now.

OP posts:
PhilomenaButterfly · 07/11/2018 16:24

I think you should keep them at home. That could be a fatal mix up. Prats.

homeishere · 07/11/2018 16:24

Yes. You probably would be. Now would the safest time for them as the issue has been sorted (in terms of their mistake has been discovered)

Eeeeek2 · 07/11/2018 16:25

I wouldn't allow my child to go to school if they have an epipen without being certain that the school had the procedure in place to administer it correctly.

You other child I'd send in

WatchThisThread · 07/11/2018 16:28

Think I'd be insisting that they send a letter to all parents pointing out the error that they have made and what they are going to do about it, and give all parents the assurance that they will be making sure that all records are checked and corrected if necessary.

Absolutely unacceptable. Failing to take proper care. Appalling.

hughjackmanswife · 07/11/2018 16:34

What @Miscible said... follow the complaints policy to the letter. It will have a procedure to follow if the head is the one you are complaining about and someone else will investigate it. If you were to complain directly to ofsted without following the complaints policy they would first contact the local authority who would then ask the school if you had followed the complaints policy first. If you don't, they will just pass it back to you and tell you to follow the complaints policy. Agree that you should take this further, as I said before I am a head teacher and the first thing I would have done is apologised to your face (although I wouldn't have acted the way they have in the first place) but an apology if it's actually meant and acted upon is one of the most powerful and meaningful things that can be done. I think you have been treated appallingly.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 07/11/2018 16:34

I would definitely be checking hoe the epipen is kept and how they identify the correct child.

All medication we have in school has a label on with not only the child’s name but also their photograph. Our medical board has a photo of the children with medical needs and the kitchen has photos of each child with food allergies.

TigerMummy1 · 07/11/2018 16:38

The school has to have a safeguarding governor who parents can approach when their concern is related to the safeguarding lead at school (which is usually Head or Deputy). Definitely find out who this is and go to them, ccd to chair of governors. This is outrageous!

INeedNewShoes · 07/11/2018 16:40

Does this mean that, as they seem to have mixed your DC's allergies on the system that your other DC has been at risk as they wrongly had her as not having the allergies?

If yes, this is a massive issue.

Miscible · 07/11/2018 16:41

Am I over reacting to keep dc home until I know everything with d's is sorted

Well, yes. All you need to do is ask them to show evidence that they've got the correct details recorded and ensured that his teacher and people like lunchtime supervisors have been duly informed. That can't take more than a few minutes, can it?

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 07/11/2018 16:41

Hang on, they have DD a school dinner when the whole reason you stopped her having them on Wednesdays was because the gravy makes her ill?

Please tell us she didn't have gravy today?

Guessing it's lactose in the gravy that upsets her? Gives me and DS trouble too. I took DS off school meals completely as I couldn't trust the school to get it right- they have him things that made him ill and wouldn't let him have things he could have (like eggs, "because they're dairy, Ms FahLa").

If she was given gravy, please point out this blunder, because they've doubly cocked up.

Regnamechanger · 07/11/2018 16:48

"Get a copy of the school's complaints and safeguarding policies, and enter a formal complaint about the fact that (a) they put your child in serious danger by failing to record the lactose intolerance properly and (b) having done that, they dared to accuse you of deliberately endangering your child and did not even bother to apologise. Ask them what they propose to do to ensure there is no repetition with your child or any other, because failing to record an allergy or intolerance properly can have life-threatening consequences."
This is the right advice (says a long-standing, weary, clerk to school governors). I wouldn't ask what they propose to do, the outcome I would ask for would be for them to tell you how they will ensure that a similar situation won't happen again.
The safeguarding governor - if they know their stuff - would advise you to use the complaints procedure. But you could copy the complaint to them because it's their job to monitor how safeguarding is implemented.
It's not really a complaint against the headteacher is it? In which case the first stage of the complaints procedure is going to be for the HT to deal with. However if you're not happy with the outcome go to the next stage, which will be some level of governor involvement.
I think it would also be fine to ask for an apology as one of your outcomes.

EleanorShellstropper · 07/11/2018 16:55

From the school's reaction I was ready to read that she had a sausage roll, packet of crisps and chocolate bar in her lunch box (and yes, I would have judged you terribly Grin ) but with what you've said she has they're completely out of order. It's one fucking chocolate biscuit. The puddings given with school lunches are ridiculous in comparison. YANBU

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 16:57

No the head teacher didn't make the error it was admin but she was extremely rude and accusations made where very uncalled for. There are such things as lactose free cheese, soya yogurt etc I but them for d's and to the eye the look the same. My kids safety is the most important thing here without a doubt but I am feeling hurt and embarrassed by the situation when really I have nothing to feel embarrassed for. I will write a letter for tomorrow and make follow up appointment with the head for dh and I to attend.

OP posts:
knockknockknock · 07/11/2018 16:57

@EleanorShellstropper Read the update from the OP. Wasn't anything about chocolate as such but a total cock up over allergies.

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 16:58

We have parents evening Thursday as well so not looking forward to sitting opposite her teacher after today

OP posts: