Lunch box police

[BackToBeingMe]

Just had a phone call from school and asked if I could go in for a chat regarding dd lunch. She is 6 and in year 2, being in key stage 1 she gets universal free school meals which she has everyday apart from Wednesday. Wednesday is always a roast and the gravy the meat is cooked in gives her an upset stomach. I am irritated as the teacher has looked in dd lunch bag this morning which I feel is out of order if I'm total honest. So the offending item which she has had the last few Wednesday's as there is 10 in a pack is a mini Pick Up Bar. Photo attached for size she has just the 1 biscuit not the 3 that is the actual serving size. Along with the pick up she has a cheese and ham mini wrap with lettuce, cucumber and red onion in, 6 cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a pot of hummus and grapes which are cut into 1/4s. I was a bit taken aback just now on the phone so didn't say much at all, now I need to know what to say at by meeting this afternoon. I would seriously think the school had more to worry about than a flamming fun size biscuit. For back ground we moved into this area recently and dd has only been at the school since the September and such rule was mentioned during induction day in July.

Crikey way over he top. My kids have similar and a bag of crisps and sandwich! Also school dinners often serve puddings which is same thing in my opinion

Top unfortunatley I didn't have time to read through the whole thread although my point is valid. Thanks for your input 😏

I know it is a long thread. I agree with your point totally and it was what everyone thought too.

It didn't turn out to be what the school was on about though, which caught everyone by surprise.

I agree with pp, the most important thing is to understand whether the medical information was duplicated on both dc or missing from your ds's record. If the latter I would escalate to everyone. OFSTED, ICO (for data breach) and anyone else.

If a duplication I would ask for formal confirmation that it has been noted on your records that they made this error. I would make a subject access request to check everything else is accurate and specifically include any emails sent, minutes or recorded calls or other documents which relate to their 'investigation' of you. Ask them to ensure all their records are corrected. Confirm if they have contacted any other agencies about this and ask them to confirm they have made a full explanation to them in follow-up. I'd also expect to know what investigation has been done into the error, how it has been recorded / reported to monitoring bodies given the potential impact on you. Obviously finally I'd want a full apology.

Obviously not the case here, but if you had wanted to make your child sick then surely you would've just not recorded the honey allergy and lactose intolerance?!

Plus, of course your son will want to have (lactose free) yogurts and cheese as kids care about fitting in so can't imagine what they're thinking.

Well that escalated unexpectedly.

I think you need to handle this one firmly and precisely OP. Firstly, so your DC with food needs is safe. Secondly, so no such confusions get recorded somewhere official without proper correction and come back to bite you in an unexpected way in years to come. And thirdly so they learn from their mistake.

Good luck.

And here, take them a from me tonight.

Sorry, I just have to say

“Well that takes the biscuit doesn’t it”.

Sorry.

It's annoying. I pack lunches every day and have a few tips. If you want to pack treats put them in the school bag not the lunch box, tell your dd to just eat it on the way out to play.
I make biscuits look like musli bars, put chocolate bits in a sultana box. Sometimes taking the package off things makes it less obvious.

Jesus. The Headteacher? It’s easier to get a meeting with the Pope than our Headteacher.

What utter chaos and such little awareness. Just as well you do send in lunches as I would have little faith that their school lunches would be safe for ds. My dd has a less common intolerance and their awareness of what she could and could not have was frightening. School lunches were compulsory, she was old enough to know for herself and it was an intolerance so at worst she would have felt very unwell. So glad she is at secondary school now and she can eat whatever she likes.

I would insist that they do an allergy check again of all children in the school. Do you get data sheets sent home? We do each year and have to check and sign it to confirm it is correct and hasn't changed (includes medical, emergency contact details etc.). Medical/ allergy checks are done earlier in the year for anyone with a known problem.

Whoever decided that you were feeding your child cheese because there was a substitute in there goes on an awareness training (I.e. walks into a supermarket) and sees how much there is for anyone on a dairy free or vegan diet, ditto for gluten. They might then have not jumped to an erroneous assumption.

Probably worth asking your dd what she did eat for lunch yesterday. I hope they didn't give her the custard or anything with honey in.

(like eggs, "because they're dairy, Ms FahLa")

This madden me!

EGGS ARE NOT EFFING DIARY!!!!

Dairy is MILK-RELATED PRODUCTS!!!!

Just because the milkman delivers eggs, it DOESN"T MEAN THAT COWS LAY THEM!!!!!

The failure to keep appropriate records is appalling!

Probably worth asking your dd what she did eat for lunch yesterday. I hope they didn't give her the custard or anything with honey in

In a similar vein, I'd be interested to know: when your DD has hot school lunches during the rest of the week, were the staff monitoring to ensure that she wasn't eating anything with milk or honey in it? ... Do they happily feed her pizza and custard? But feel it necessary to accuse you of neglect for feeding her a milk choc biscuit

Words fail me!

I can quite understand the concern of the teacher, who was probably handed a sheet of paper at the beginning of the year with a list of allergies on it. However, it is a serious escalation from wondering if that cheese sandwich is safe (which could easily have been dealt with by asking the child or sending a letter home) to accusing a mother of making her child ill for attention. Especially when it doesn't seem like your dd is unwell, except when she ate the school gravy...

Meanwhile, if they have got that information wrong, what else have they got wrong and is the information on your ds correct?

Re the cheese and yoghurt, I had a similar concern this morning. They're only allowed to bring in plain water. DD had plain water, but in a juicy water bottle. I pointed out that her teacher wouldn't know that (a relative had put it in her bag), DD said "she's welcome to taste it!" Fair enough!

Omg I would be furious! I wouldn’t let them off with a written apology. I’d make them apologise to my face. And as pp have said, you need to take this further regarding lack of safeguarding and demand to know how they’re investigating and updating procedures. Are they genuinely so thick as not to realise that a cheese sandwich could be lacto free cheese?

I’m petty and would greet the teacher at parents evening with “and you’re sure which one you’re talking about this time?”

I wouldn't be able to resist do this either. But I would smile very sweetly . . .

Phil I like your DD

Quick update, dh and I are off up the school very shortly to try and sort this mess out. I will be checking all records held on my dc yo make sure all allergy information is present and correct. D's has 4 other junior allergies that cause him facial/eye swelling but don't affect his breathing then the honey allergy that is the most serious plus lactose intolerant, for his safety I need to know this information is present and correct on the school system. This could of ended very differently and potentially ds could of been in serious danger which could of ended with life changing consequences for everybody involed, it just doesn't bare thinking about. What I want is to know my children are safe, the error has been correct and how it will be dealt with and finally an apology for their behaviour yesterday. I will be mature at parents evening tonight as that is in dds best interest but I think it will be very hard for me and dh to sit there and take anything that the teacher has to say seriously, it is unfortunate timing and not long enough has pasted.

So for all the mistakes, typing why walking! Minor allergies not junior

You'd get on very well Grems! 😂

Good luck BackTo. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 Give 'em a bollocking!

That sounds like a good approach OP.

I would also agree with a pp point that was to check whether any other agencies outside of school have been contacted. If so, I would want school to contact them to clarify the situation and for you to have copies of such correspondence in case this were to rear it's ugly head in the future because the information/accusations had not been corrected.

I would also want a copy of the minutes from your initial meeting with the school, again for above reasons but also so you can correct any inaccuracies.

I hope the meeting goes well and it sound like a good idea for your DS immediate safety.

However, I would still have the complaint put in writing preferable by following school’s complaint procedures or at very minimum letter to head. Having a paper trail often means it’s hard to manage away concerns that are raised.

Hope it's gone well OP. Depending on the grovelling apology I hope you have by now received, I think I would go directly to the local authority safeguarding team and explain what has happened as calmly as you can. Tell them that as a result of this incident, you believe there are serious failings in the school's safeguarding system.

I would also write formally to the governors as it is also their responsibility to ensure the safety of all children.

If you don't get a heartfelt apology, let us know and we'll help you plan the next steps.

Ouch! What insanity. As you say, they have completely overreacted and they have also made serious mistakes. I'd actually be tempted to complain directly to Ofsted and bypass their governors. They have really put you and your family at risk in multiple ways, plus those accusations are extremely serious.