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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lunch box police

321 replies

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 09:29

Just had a phone call from school and asked if I could go in for a chat regarding dd lunch. She is 6 and in year 2, being in key stage 1 she gets universal free school meals which she has everyday apart from Wednesday. Wednesday is always a roast and the gravy the meat is cooked in gives her an upset stomach. I am irritated as the teacher has looked in dd lunch bag this morning which I feel is out of order if I'm total honest. So the offending item which she has had the last few Wednesday's as there is 10 in a pack is a mini Pick Up Bar. Photo attached for size she has just the 1 biscuit not the 3 that is the actual serving size. Along with the pick up she has a cheese and ham mini wrap with lettuce, cucumber and red onion in, 6 cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a pot of hummus and grapes which are cut into 1/4s. I was a bit taken aback just now on the phone so didn't say much at all, now I need to know what to say at by meeting this afternoon. I would seriously think the school had more to worry about than a flamming fun size biscuit. For back ground we moved into this area recently and dd has only been at the school since the September and such rule was mentioned during induction day in July.

Lunch box police
Lunch box police
Lunch box police
OP posts:
Notfair2030 · 07/11/2018 15:21

Everyday my son has a cheese sandwich, banana, crisps and a small biscuit and water. In reception they said something. I ignored them as that is all he will eat and doesn't like the school lunches. Sometiems I change the sandwich for left overs of a home cooked meal but it's always spicy. He loves spicy but they had a problem with that.... mean while his friends have fish chips and custard and cake...

WendyCope · 07/11/2018 15:26

That is ridiculous! Meal sounds super healthy and nutritious to me.

Seniorschoolmum · 07/11/2018 15:28

For heaven’s sake, that’s ridiculous.

I would also want to know why they are wasting their very expensive & precious resource on something so petty.

I’m looking forward to being told my ds’s tiny box of smarties is forbidden. I shall be terribly polite but “unco-operative”. Grin

WendyCope · 07/11/2018 15:30

Also think these tiny 'treats' (small box of smarties as above etc) encourage them to eat up their lunch. Anyway, it's YOUR decision.

GlitteryFluff · 07/11/2018 15:32

Looking forward to what they say.
Must be about the nuts surely.
It can't be about the biscuit when they serve cake and custard.

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 15:32

Right I'm back and more pissed off than when I went up to the school, had to call dh and calm down before I posted this. I went into my meeting to be greeting by the head, class teacher, safe guarding officer (another teacher) and the receptionist. I said kind of jokingly this a bit dramatic over a biscuit isn't it. Well to cut a long story short the receptionist had made an admin error and on the system mixed up my dc. My other dc has the honey allergy which is the most serious than they have a few other allergies that cause facial swelling but no breathing difficulties and also lactose intolerant. They didn't and still don't seem to be able to tell the difference between an intolerance and an allergy and secondly insisted I had told them dd was lactose intolerant and was neglecting/abusing her by giving her milk based products. This is why they monitored the wrap as cheese as been in her lunch several times. I pointed out it was the wrong dc and they were mistaken insisted I was wrong, kept showing me her computer screen saying it says it here. So I asked to see the paper forms I filled out in July, these were checked no such intolerance was listed by me on dd just other dc. They didn't even apologise just said glad that was sorted and hoped we could move forward from now. Now I am very upset by this obviously but I do put cheese, yogurt etc in my other dc lunch as it is lactose free, soya, vegan or from the free from section.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/11/2018 15:33

If I offer her something she will say 'but it's bad for you'

Mine went through that stage . . . looked at me as though I had slipped strychnine into their lunchbox . . .

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 15:36

Oh and nothing about the chocolate or nuts being banned was mentioned just my neglect and trying to make my child ill. Sorry for the rant I am absolutely livid, I have lived with a dc for 8 years with various allergies and intolerance, been to many a hospital appointment with different doctors and to be accused of this makes me so bloody angry.

OP posts:
Sweetpotatoaddict · 07/11/2018 15:38

In some ways it’s nice to hear schools are on the ball, unfortunately they’ve made an error which they should be apologising for. Some parents aren’t as diligent as you clearly are.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/11/2018 15:38

BeingMe

What a load of BS!

And not even an apology for dragging you in and wasting your time - AND most importantly GETTING THE DCs MIXED UP!

Supposed they' allowed the DC with an intolerance to share a friend's honey sandwiches, or cheese triangles or something, and your child had then had diarrhoea all night!

I'd be stotting about this! Especially not even an apology for their rubbish knee-jerk reaction - do they think you don't know your own child?

Racecardriver · 07/11/2018 15:39

You should have insisted on an apology for your wasted time and their substandard admin which you may choose to report to ofstead as a potential safeguarding issue. Just imagine if they had accidentally listed your dd as the allergic one.

WendyCope · 07/11/2018 15:39

You poor thing. What idiots. Any consolation I think they felt idiots too.

Pissedoffdotcom · 07/11/2018 15:39

Piss take isn't it? She is tall for her age, has more energy than a duracell battery & is well within her weight limit for her age. Why shouldn't she have a bit of chocolate ffs?

OP i would be furious. If they are mixing up your DC potentially they could be mixing up others. Clearly someone hasn't been reading their paperwork properly

JustAskingForAFriend · 07/11/2018 15:39

I would be taking in further.
As if your other dc had eaten something thety shouldn't and became ill they would not of had on record. A similar thing happened in my DS old sch. A clerical error =a child was blue lighted to a & e because they hadn't put an allergy down and someone had brought in fairy cakes for birthday and they child ate it. I'm. Not sure of what allergy but even so. Should not of happened!

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 15:46

I am annoyed at the error of course I am thankful dc with allergies has been trained since he could talk to say no thank you to any food or drink unless it is offered by me or his dad. Even things from grandparent he gets one of us to check so don't think he would unintentionally put himself in any danger. I am so upset about being accused of intentionally trying to make my child ill for attention as honestly who does that! And then no offer of an appoly just so bloody rude. Dd was upset as well as the embarrassed her by removing her lunch and gaving her dinners what is not their call at all.

OP posts:
Andro · 07/11/2018 15:48

Mixing up your dc is bad, mixing them up when allergies are involved is deplorable. I'd be writing a very strongly worded letter highlighting their deficiencies in this matter and my concerns thereof. I doubt I would be able to refrain from observing that their lack of willingness to admit to their errors or apologize for making unfounded allegations of neglect, would not predispose me towards trusting them with the safety and well being of my children.

That said, I'd probably force myself to wait for 24h before sending the letter - less chance of it being a very politely worded bitchfest.

thereallochnessmonster · 07/11/2018 15:50

chocolate cake with chocolate custard
vs
a small choc bar

FFS. We had the same at our lower school.

Several parents pointed out the two-faced ness. The menu was changed...

BackToBeingMe · 07/11/2018 15:50

I will let myself calm down before doing anything other wise the anger will doing the talking which won't help my children.

OP posts:
Andro · 07/11/2018 15:51

They also owe your DD an apology!

thereallochnessmonster · 07/11/2018 15:52

Just seen your update! The school have dropped a right clanger and should be apologising to you They could have put your dc in danger if they'd got them mixed up. What bellends.

FawnDrench · 07/11/2018 15:53

They're the ones who need to look to safeguarding - not you!

Dreadful.

Hope you feel up to writing a strongly-worded letter/email to them so there's a record of their glaring mistake.

homeishere · 07/11/2018 15:56

I’d be tempted to report them to Ofsted for that. It’s a serious safeguarding issue and (much like unreported abuse cases) others could be mixed up. At least yours has been sorted, but I imagine there’ll be others.

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 07/11/2018 15:56

Yes- a strongly worded letter of complaint and then follow it through. That is outrageous. They should be following over themselves to apologise as they put your allergic child at risk through sloppy admin. It should be flagged up as an issue within the school. As for thinking you were putting your own child at risk by feeding them cheese wraps- there are no words. I would haul them over the coals for this and I am not a complainer.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/11/2018 15:57

I am so upset about being accused of intentionally trying to make my child ill for attention

They actually SAID that!?

Take this further - that is bloody DISGRACEFUL!

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/11/2018 16:01
Shock

Was mot expecting that