Lunch box police

[BackToBeingMe]

Just had a phone call from school and asked if I could go in for a chat regarding dd lunch. She is 6 and in year 2, being in key stage 1 she gets universal free school meals which she has everyday apart from Wednesday. Wednesday is always a roast and the gravy the meat is cooked in gives her an upset stomach. I am irritated as the teacher has looked in dd lunch bag this morning which I feel is out of order if I'm total honest. So the offending item which she has had the last few Wednesday's as there is 10 in a pack is a mini Pick Up Bar. Photo attached for size she has just the 1 biscuit not the 3 that is the actual serving size. Along with the pick up she has a cheese and ham mini wrap with lettuce, cucumber and red onion in, 6 cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a pot of hummus and grapes which are cut into 1/4s. I was a bit taken aback just now on the phone so didn't say much at all, now I need to know what to say at by meeting this afternoon. I would seriously think the school had more to worry about than a flamming fun size biscuit. For back ground we moved into this area recently and dd has only been at the school since the September and such rule was mentioned during induction day in July.

Good call calming down before letter. Also make sure you address it prior to parents evening so you have it clear in your mind and / or allow u you to focus on their work.

Best of luck. I would be furious. And they should also apologise to your dc. I would make sure of that.

God, I've just read your update and fuck a goose, I'd be so fucking angry. There's making a mistake and there's endangering your other child, all whilst accusing you of neglect/abuse........pot calling kettle....

I’m petty and would greet the teacher at parents evening with “and you’re sure which one you’re talking about this time?”

Oh bloody hell what a bunch of incompetents!

Let's hope they're not so dim if a child has an extreme allergy - 'computer says no' shit, like you don't know your own child

If it was me I'd be livid, sleep in it and cause some hell back. They essentially dragged you out of work early and put another if your children in potential danger due to their negligence and errors they are unacceptable - do they check such important information is input properly - perhaps they need to sort their administration operations out

We have parents evening Thursday as well so not looking forward to sitting opposite her teacher after today

I would be! I would be perfectly presented, questions in hand and would make her squirm.

Fucking hell, that's dreadful. I'd keep them off. You don't know for now that the school can keep them safe.

Formal complaint all the way to the top.

They sound ridiculous

School dinners have puddings don't they??? Hypocrites

Just read the updates. Bloody hell I'd be livid too.

How incompetent

Particularly in light of the recent deaths due to alleged recently they should be running scared! Report to ofsted.

Bloody hell. This is awful.
My DCs schools can be over the top but they've never once questioned me when I've given my lactose intolerant dd a cheese sandwich as they aren't so dim they've not heard of vegan or lactose free cheese.

Definitely follow the complaints procedure to the letter without guilt. They were all but ready to accuse you of something pretty horrific when in fact they've screwed up the safeguarding of your dc. Like a PP says, ask them how they're going to ensure this doesn't happen again. An admin error is one thing but confusing your dc is a whole other issue.

This sounds to me like quite a major data handling error.
Perhaps you should do a SAR for both dc just to ensure there’s no more errors.
I suppose you’re lucky the mix up wasn’t the other way around, and it also seems they need education on allergies and intolerances as this is possibly life threatening ignorance.
Also under GDPR you have the right of rectification so they should be falling over themselves to correct it.
I expect the ICO would be able to give you more advice.

Dh just got back from work, going to sit down together and plan our next move. Just realised Thursday is tomorrow so really needs sorting before parents evening tomorrow night.

I would call in the morning and ask for a printed copy of their complaints procedure, any policies and procedures they use for allergens, and ask for a copy of their GDPR Subject Access Request process. Ask them to have them all ready for you to take away with you at parents evening.

Blimey, I would be furious too.

They owe you (and your DD) a big apology. On the basis of their own substandard admin, they were trying to accuse you of neglecting and endangering your own child. They then compounded that by failing to apologise when you asked for the paper records and their error became blatantly obvious. To be honest, I wonder why they didn't check it properly themselves first before pulling that panel together to haul you over the coals for a non-existent offence.

Yes, I would be making a formal complaint. They put your children at risk and humiliated you (and themselves, I might add) without even an apology.

Go to reception tomorrow when you do the school run and insist on seeing the paper and computer records for both of your children so that you can check they are correct. Don't take no for an answer. Ask to see too which child has the epipen recorded against their name so that you can be sure that this too is correct. If there are any mistakes there then insist that they are put right while you are there and watching. Refuse to go away until that has been done

Then invoke their own formal complaints procedure against them as others have explained.

Don't be worried about parents evening. You hold the cards here. They are on the back foot now and might just be feeling slightly sheepish if they have an ounce of grace. They will likely have been embarrassed by their own shoddy admin, even though they tried to brazen it out today. Once they realise that you are lodging a formal complaint about it because of safeguarding issues then it should be clear that you have seen through them.

Good luck. I hope your DD is OK following the school dinner she should not have been given.

You need to have something in writing here.

So email main office (it'll be on letter/website) or HT direct if you have email.

For example.

Dear HT.

I am writing to complain about events that occurred on x date and the serious safeguarding failures that came to light from the schools actions.

I received a call at x time to state a teacher had been through DD lunchbox and could I come in at 2pm for a meeting.

DD had been given a school lunch instead.

You met me along with the safeguarding officer and a member of the admin team.

You accused me of supplying my DD with foods for which I'd reported she was allergic to and foods she had an intolerance to.

However on further investigation it came to light the school had made a SERIOUS admin error and placed my sons medical information on my dd file.

Therefore not only did you make unfounded accusations of neglect towards me you put my sons life at risk.

You also failed to consider that my son (or dd as you confused them) eats free from foods and therefore the ingredients aren't what foods look like - eg free from cheese.

After realising the mistake was yours there was no apology.

I want to receive a response within (whatever timeframe is on complaints policy) with an apology to myself and my husband for unfounded accusations.
An apology to my dd for removing her lunch unnecessarily.
A clear plan of how you are reviewing your allergy policy and recording of such information so no child's life is out at risk.

Yours sincerely

Xxxxxx

This sort of thing pisses me off big time. Why do people think they should be able to dictate what we feed our children. My daughter packed lunch contains a sandwich of ham salad, a yogurt, piece of fruit, small choc bar, crisps and a cheese string. I'd tell the school where to get off if they told me they shouldn't be in there. She also only drinks water.

Cindersrella, the thread has moved on a lot since the OP.

Only read as far as the post meeting update and I'm hopping mad!!!!

One of the most fundamental aspects of running a school is not NEGLECTING the children by getting them mixed up!!!!!!!! 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Top - Cinderella has a valid point though!

I'm so glad dd is no longer at school dealing with this ridiculous crap! She is very slim, always has been and has a higher metabolism as a result of her disability and we've actually been told by her consultant that she needs to eat more healthy fats and oils than others. ENDLESS bloody arguments with in particular her primary school on this issue even AFTER providing proof from dr! Fucking idiots!!

FestivelyFoolish - I'm in Scotland and that was a scots primary I had these discussions with.

"Whatever the rights and wrongs of this biscuit situation, what the teachers eat in the staff room is irrelevant" not really imo. If they're eating confiscated items that's not theirs that's theft and then there's the hypocrisy angle - if you're going to be so dogmatic lead by example!

"A no chocolate/sweets rule by the school can only be a good thing can't it?" Completely disagree - demonising certain foods doesn't teach children a healthy APPROACH to ALL food, and risks turning them into "forbidden fruit" which are highly sought after.

"I went into my meeting to be greeting by the head, class teacher, safe guarding officer (another teacher) and the receptionist." WHAT THE HOLY FUCK!! Totally ott and I'd be SERIOUSLY pissed off at a bloody receptionist being there!!

I would be raging!

Time for an official complaint!! - not least because THEIR fuck up could have serious medical consequences for your and any other child in the school with allergies - utter fuckwits!

AND an apology SHOULD have been made! That's basic good manners. And if they can't have good manners themselves I doubt they're setting good examples to the children.

Actually I'd be seriously considering moving DC to a different school on the grounds that MEDICAL info is being wrongly attributed to the wrong children - that's a major safety issue!

"I would call in the morning and ask for a printed copy of their complaints procedure, any policies and procedures they use for allergens, and ask for a copy of their GDPR Subject Access Request process. Ask them to have them all ready for you to take away with you at parents evening." Excellent advice! Actually - yes put this request in writing! Wouldn't trust this shower of shit not to lie through their teeth to cover their arses!

And Breeeeeathe Graphista

Excellent points though.

I agree with @Graphista point regarding the demonising of food.

Surely teaching children the importance of a balanced diet is the most important thing? Of course a healthy diet can include one small biscuit of bit of chocolate. Telling children "oh no you mustn't ever eat chocolate or the like" will just create an unhealthy relationship with that food? Surely this could lead to an increase of eating disorders? Personally, when I suffered with bulimia I couldn't even bare to have anything 'naughty' in the house because it was devil food which turned into a binge if I even laid an eye on it.

Balance should be taught, not restriction!

I always make a point of correcting the bad food info with my Dc as it infuriates me in the same way as others here. When they've come home rabbiting that sugar is bad I tell them that no, too much sugar is bad sometimes certain types of sugar and that a balanced diet is fine including some sugar in it.

Think it goes in one ear and out the other though

Before you go in all guns blazing at parents evening OP, please consider that the teacher may have had very little say in what happened here.

It is quite possible that the issue was highlighted by lunch staff/pastoral team and they asked the teacher to keep an eye on the lunchbox. She may have simply followed instructions and reported what she has found.

Be angry with the school (head) and follow the complaints procedure but don't waste your parents evening appointment on it when you could be having a meaningful conversation about your daughters learning progress.

And Breeeeeathe Graphista

Just drives me nuts the appalling info and attitude toward food on mn and in the wider world currently.

The idea that whole food groups are "bad" is ridiculous, has no basis in fact and often leads to unhealthy even disordered eating.

And the situation op is dealing with is downright incompetent and dangerous (and I suspect illegal)

This makes me genuinely annoyed, no one has mentioned ds' lunchbox to me yet but if they do I'll go to town on a comparison between the contents of his lunchbox and the school meal I could pay £2.30 for.... often carbs on carbs with extra sugary carbs for 'pudding' where his lunchbox will be a ham sandwich, two types of fruit, two types of dairy and a bag of crisps. They're walking a long way tomorrow so I've bought a gingerbread man to pop in there too 🤷‍♀️