Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

Bri,tain as Nottoday says is obsessed with homeownership and psychologically Government makes people feel they should want to own their own place. Its not like that everywhere. Its a capitalist idea. Means country doesn't have to provide social housing, doesnt have to help if people become entitled to benefits, ( will pay rent but not mortgage) have means of providing their own care (sell house). In spite of taking all our taxes. Right to buy is totally wrong. People should be able to rent for their lifetime in social housing feeling secure that they can do things to their house without having it taken away. Making people move because a bedroom is no longer needed is callous. ( who are these morons in power?). People would be happier less stressed healthier which would actually benefit the country.

donthug please don't feel crap about it. I'm in housing association and I feel like a really lucky fucker! My tenancy is protected, my rent sensible - and with my MH woes I never go into complete maintenance about the upkeep of the house or the horror of coming home to find the boiler dead...

It's a lot more normalised in Scotland - social housing I mean - although I live somewhere mega-posh and one of the school dads made a comment about "people in social housing". I was hurt... But then remembered he's the one who commutes to London for work to live in his non-social housing house 3 nights a week! Anyway he's from Croydon so it's not as though he grew up in a gated community so it was probably just a stupid throw away comment!

*complete meltdown

Agree lots of money seems to be spent on tat and yet we often hear no money for x y or z. People can say they are struggling financially and I often wonder if they went through their homes how much money has been wasted over the years on 'rubbish'. Perhaps if people looked at what they spent they would have more money for other things that they think they don't have.

I have been guilty in the past and I am much better now in not buying things that I don't really need.

I don’t buy much ‘stuff’ any more, and although I like clothes I do wear them until they fall apart - I only buy stuff I love. I have some things from the last millennium!

I’m not going to feel bad about buying a decorative pumpkin from the local pumpkin farm and carving it for Halloween. I think in general that’s much better than buying something plastic and glittery especially if people then bin it after.

I’m a bit stunned at the idea of buying all new Christmas decorations every year. I often buy one to add - but a big part of it is getting out old decorations with lots of memories attached, there’s none of that meaning if you bin them all!

Donthugme We never had newly bought sofas until I was in my 40s! Even they they were (are, as we still have them) from sofa.com and cost about £250 not the crazy prices you see around.

We never had the money or the inclination to buy our children all the expensive, branded items and luckily they were never that bothered^^ and, if we could every now and again we did. But we always talked about money - how much we had, what we didn't have, how we had to pay bills. Nothing too radical but more about balancing the books - so I think that helped to ground them. Just been listening on the radio about how important it is to talk about money/finances to your children.

Has anybody seen the trailer for BBC Children in Need this year. The one where a few kids are modelling Pudsey merchandise like furry ears. They actually say - you don't have to donate, you can buy stuff too. Stuff like....- and then this pointless shite is modelled. I know it is for charity but it is still shite that is worn once, stuffed in a drawer or chucked away. A charity shop is not going to see it If is donated. It gives me the rage, the fact they even call it stuff. The ad (that's what it is really) is aimed at children so they pester their parents to buy it.

I try not to think about the amount of waste, it's overwhelming.

Is buying so much "new" stuff really necessary? My almost new/2nd hand home appliances work just fine. Landfill sites must be absolutely groaning with stuff that's been discarded but is still perfectly usable.

I did used to be a "newbie" tho years ago, and feel much better for not being addicted to having new.

Same with technology, I don't want to scramble after the latest phone.

It's all just big business playing with our brains. The sheer volume of tat they turn out for Christmas, Halloween, Valentines day etc is ridiculous.

MN is not a waste of time thank you, I look forward to my browse on here🙂. I just won't get caught up in Facebook Twitter Insta etc also.

I've never been to Westfield or Bluewater. A couple of my friends are aghast at this. It's not that I live a frugal life, just the thought of a huge packed shopping centre with long queues in search of yet more stuff is nowhere near my idea of a good time.

& Why can't we majorly cut down on plastic..?

So much wastage in general

This thread should be read by everyone. I just cleared out my family home after fifteen years. I disgusted myself. An entire chest of drawers full of the crappy tat that came stuck to the front of my children's comics when they were small. Awful that they need tiny bits of plastic tat to sell perfectly good comics and awful that I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. I filled a whole bin bag with old socks. Why did I buy so many socks? Surely seven pairs per person is the absolute maximum you'd need? I had a big birthday in the middle of my house clearance. I did not want any more 'things' so I asked people either not to buy me anything, or to contribute to a fund so I could buy a nice piece of art. I still ended up with four huge bags full of 'things'. People could not stop themselves. And it wasn't just the 'things' but all the little gift bags and boxes and the cards and wrapping paper and everything associated with giving someone a 'thing'. Every paper and magazine from now til Christmas will come with its 'essential gift guide'. Just pages and ages of utter useless, completely non essential shite. How can we make people stop wanting 'things', or thinking that giving someone a 'thing' is a way of expressing affection or that a child will only want a comic or a fast food meal if it comes with extra 'things'?? This whole cycle sickens me and I wish I knew how we could change the mass mindset ....

@babyno5 Love that article. That could be me :)

This thread is just were my head is at right now. Dreading more stuff coming into our small house at Christmas, but still want the dc to have nice gifts.

Yes! I've found a little corner of the internet that sums up how I have been feeling for the last couple of years. I'm from a family where you buy something (electrical item, new furniture) and use it until it is no longet useable-then attempt to repair it or reupholster to get a few extra years use.

I have been getting more and more overwhelmed and depressed with society. From the hundreds of advertising emails I have deleted yesterday in my inbox to the plastic tat in the shops to takeaway coffees and all the plastic garb that gets used once and then thrown away.

I'm saving up for a new house and have been using this as an excuse to not indulge in these things but it's not just that. I feel like we are on a course for a plastic filled meltdown and it feels lile the majority of people are ignoring it.

I watched that youtube christmas video posted up thread and felt absolutely sick that people would live like that.

oh gosh no I don't change things seasonal! I call my whole house 'eclectic' nothing matches but it works for me! we don't have a lift so can't store much stuff even if I wanted to. I like things that make me smile (ie I have hama bead creations on my kitchen cupboards, magnets that have my name on and a few trinkets that were my beloved nans. My walls are covered in pictures that my boys have done (held up wihere blue tack that has left horrid marks ) and kids stickers adorn my freezer. I think i may just be a tad sensitive as so called friends have been really horrible about my house. I take it to heart I guess 😢

I'm in social housing. my ma is in social housing. I was born in the house she still rents. majority of houses on her road have been bought but were social. at one point to my entire family lived within 2 miles max of each other. our household income is under 14k with 1 being a duty manager at a leisure centre full time and me looking after out youngest. childcare would cost more than my job. and believe it or not I'm. lvl3 qualified childcarer with all the extra certificates. we are lucky in that my boys get free swims. but other than that it's pretty shit. I use talc powder for face powder. I use poundland creams (I actually really like their new range ) and it's 2nd hand everything else. sorry. kinda went off on one. xx

I feel the exact same. I'm dreading Christmas. Trying to buy second hand as much as possible, but it's a bit of a struggle to think of presents for the DCs that aren't creating even more waste! Does anyone have any ideas to help me out?

A house is not a home without fridge-magnets.

I am being treated to a new "low" wrt Xmas decorations. I have ads following me around the internet for Xmas themed (i.e., tacky) carpet runners! For real! Imagine the shame of opening your front door to carol singers and you don't have a seasonal carpet?

Presumably made of something both shockingly flammable and likely to end up the food chain... And made by par-boiling in arsenic and formaldehyde.

And binned in January because who wants to store a carpet all year?

When I say tacky I mean full-on ho ho ho santa and Rudolph!

vintage I agree about all the xmas themed stuff, it's madness! I'm sure there wasn't the array of things even 10 years ago. My DSis was telling me about an xmas theme crockery set recently...I don't get the point because surely it's just taking up space all the rest of the year not being used.

So having read the thread and been inspired me and DP have agreed not to give each other gifts this year (going to go for dinner instead) and I also resisted buying a dress I saw on my lunch hour

Also, I am curious as to how many thing like clothes ppl think is 'a lot' because it's so subjective. I always think I don't have that many but then compared to the average amount people had in the 70s (or even 80s) it's still probably loads

I am so on board with this message of too much stuff and choice in general. The amount of toys and books I took to the charity shop this morning was staggering - and my house is still full! I'm currently stood in John Lewis surrounded by more stuff - and the pull to want it is a bit scary. We're all saying we agree but someone is buying it all otherwise surely the shops wouldn't keep stocking it?! I have definitely been guilty of buying mindlessly in the past.

I also want to encourage more mindful consuming esp at Xmas, but am struggling to think of things to suggest to family for the kids as I also don't want to force my philosophy of less on them (even though the planet would likely thank me).

I might start a thread in Christmas about toy alternatives...

Love this post
So much of what I feel

Thank you so much for this thread OP. It came at just the right time, with Christmas looming.

DH and I have agreed to give one another one small gift each, of something we already need. The AC will get cash and one small gift each, as above, and we're all having a night out together. Nieces and nephews will get experiences.

Elderly relatives will get consumable stuff. Everyone else will get a book from a charity shop; I've discussed this with friends and we've all agreed. They can go back to the charity shop afterwards.

The thing is, we're lucky. We already have everything we need. And the house is full. I don't want to cram anything else in. It would be madness. So for personal as well as environmental reasons I'm fully on board with cutting back drastically.

My most depressing sight in the run-up to Christmas are the 3-for-2 cosmetic gift sets piled up in the shops. Buying them requires no thought and who would ever be delighted to receive one? Just a monumental waste of money.

I think by consumable I mean edible

Except clothes which are 'recycled' but I'm suspicious of how much of this stuff they Can recycle then of course they don't recycle duvets and other polyester stuff.

Going back to the charity shop bit - I'm a volunteer with a large charity and all of our textiles which are unsuitable for selling in the shop are bagged and sent off. Clothes, towels, bedding, duvets, underwear - everything. It's then sorted again at the central depot and anything which is good enough to sell is sold centrally. Other stuff is sold in bulk to traders in Africa. Anything left over is sold to rag merchants. It's specially treated and shredded to be used to stuff mattresses, cushion pads, sofas etc.

As a volunteer I don't mind textiles coming in which aren't fit for sale as we can recycle them. Same with books - there is a wide range of options for selling them on, or pulping to recycle.

The amount of plastic tat though is staggering and if it's broken, it has to go in the bin. The charity then has to pay to get rid of it.

my xp was madly into stuff don't get me wrong sometimes it was nice - chtrismas was an excess of spending - regularly £500 per quid each child which we could have used better elsewhere eg credit card debt - when we split up I just stopped mostly out of necessity - he carried on - I now think he,, like so many, use material ways of showing affection or thoughtfulness and having the latest telly, games console etc is showing that you cared. It is interesting now the kids are older seeing how they have responded to two such different values (they think I am a right skinflint) but I just say - oh dad likes to give you stuff I prefer experiences - they can make their own minds up later but interestingly none of them really likes shopping that much, I take them on interesting city breaks now one child at a time, I think so much of it depends on your environment - it is too easy just to go along with it and hard to buck the trend. One of things I fell in love with current DP is when he said " I hate money I wish we just bartered still with chickens and beads" that was it for me :)