Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

Plants dont count as "stuff" it's official...

I’m a sentimental sort and I go to estate sales. I enjoy looking at vintage items I remember as a child. The point though they depresses me in the amount of tat that represents the life of the deceased person and how crowded their homes had become.Many items unsellable and not worth taking to a charity shop.

Buy what you need, not what you are told you need is my mantra.

Everyone now and then needs to buy new towels, sheets, and kids clothes because they grow so quickly, but we all maybe have lovely stuff in our wardrobes, but because we have worn it once or twice in the presence of others it has to be changed in case they remember we wore it before now.

I don't buy into that. If others are worried about my clothing it is their issue not mine. So liberating!

Well said! The manufacturing process of all this stuff is mind boggling! The chemicals and plastics used:( Not to mentioned the disposal of the tonnes and tonnes of non biodegradable crap we don't need. I am trying to really think about what I'm buying, where and how it is manufactured and what will happen to it when I have finished with it!

God I agree. I went to a friend’s house yesterday who has done some proper decluttering / cleansing course and her house is an oasis of calm, ie there’s no bloody tat!! I actually had a mini skip at the end of the summer to get rid of loads of stuff that had broken etc (old garden furniture etc) and now I wish I’d been ruthless and thrown half my house out!! I think I’ve become trapped by ‘I paid a lot of money for that so I must keep it’. I may investigate decluttering!

I don’t care about wearing the same outfit 10 times but there is an expectation that accessories are in good condition. My boss recently called my handbag ‘well-loved’ . It’s 3 years old, does that mean I have to replace it?

This sums it up perfectly

m.youtube.com/watch?v=e9dZQelULDk

@fiona25 my point has somewhat been lost throughout the thread. I was more thinking of 'stuff' that has no meaning. If you have stuff that makes you feel good then it enhances your life and is therefore not a waste. Stuff that does nothing for you emotionally or practically is the waste that I was referring to

@Housemum Phoenix is great. We've started getting that too!

@Fiona25 Having stuff is not the problem if it is used and enjoyed - having stuff is a problem if it's stuff you buy because you feel pressured to by adverts, or if you have got into the habit of buying lots because it is cheap. For instance, feeling the need to frequently replace vases/cushions etc with this season's colour. As a child there was a bit of seasonality - we had flannelette sheets in winter, and mum put the heavy curtains up in the living room windows (to stop the draught). But these were the same ones every year and put away in Spring - not changed because Asda/Matalan/wherever is pushing the new range.
And having more of things does not mean more happiness - once you have got through tough times and been able to treat yourself, cherish and enjoy the things you have now.

Me and my betterhalf don’t buy each other stuff anymore we try and do a weekend away for our birthdays and go sking in January for our Xmas gift to each other!! Buy experience gift for family afternoon tea vouchers cinema tickets theatre tickets, dinner vouchers!! I like groupon as they have lots of good offers for restaurant vouchers. Buy kids craft sets or reading books. Do a lot of days out with granddaughter. But then I worry that if we all stoped buying then what will happen to the people who make the stuff and then sell the stuff!! And yes I did buy a pumpkin from the pumpkin farm had a lovely hour carving it with granddaughter then we made pumpkin and sweet potato soup. next year I will be 59 and the world has changed so much since I was my granddaughters age some things are better some are not!! Dread to think what the world will be like when she Is my age!!

I completely understand how you feel OP.
My bugbear is furniture. Why does everyone feel the need to buy plastic coated shite to make their homes look like a page from the Next catalog? They all look the fecking same 😂😂 Have some imagination peeps!
I buy all our furniture second hand and upcycle where it’s needed. I would add this isn’t for financial reasons. A home should look and feel like a home

And then I read this!!
Finland: Where second-hand comes first www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-46099418

I too felt like this a quite a few years ago. I stopped watching celebrity tv and buying magazines. And started getting into cooking from scratch. Now for gifts we buy tickets or experiences or classes. I realised how much plastic tat there was when my daughter was little. I now spend my free time going to events and working on my money saving blog. I think a lot of people are waking up to this realisation

We all seem to "need" so much junk these days. Halloween is a prime example. Bought outfits, pumpkins, decorations, parties. Then up comes Christmas a few days later, hardly able to move in stores for all the tat. Its depressing, but needs a strong will to not be sucked into it all.YANBU

I don't have much money and sometimes feel like such a failure for not having stuff. It's ridiculous really as my children are happy and healthy. Yes not a single item of furniture was new or matches but by have a lovely very old mahogany dining table that someone was just going to dump it looks completely out of place in my council masonette but I love it. Also I feel embarrassed to live in a council property as it doesn't fit into societies idea of the perfect life which is ridiculous when you think about it. I work and I can just afford the rent on this place but I'm embarrassed as society says we should all own fancy apartments or big detached places full of the latest stuff.

Thank you for this thread I've been very low of late as I feel like I'm not giving my children a good enough life but really it's because I can't give them the crap they see in adverts. When really I should turn it round and realise I give them time which is more important.

donthugme Most people I know aspire to live in a council property tbh, it's seen as a plus to be able to live cheaply.

The one that gets me is the bins and tables
Outside coffee shops

Pure and complete landfill

I think its terrible but am a lone voice I feel sometimes !!

I think it's where I live im in a very rich area where most of the council houses are now bought so most of the home owners think we are all jobless wasters bringing down their house prices. I know I'm lucky to have here but the reaction you get when I say where I live is not a positive one.

The problem is, the world has to keep making the ‘stuff’ and we have to keep buying it, otherwise the economy crashes and, gdp goes down, we’re all doomed

donthug meh, most rich people I know are pretty into eco friendly living, it's more the very very middle classes who are hung up on appearances.

Who cares what such people think anyway, if anyone judges you on where you live, they are a dick.

@Donthugmeimscared I couldn't read your post and not respond. Truly the way you feel is understandable and it's due to demonisation in the media and by certain political parties of people who live in social housing which is totally unfair.

Years ago, before Right to Buy was first introduced a lot of people lived in social housing by choice, what RTB did was made it possible for people to buy who wouldn't have been able to ordinarily and over time this meant the people who still couldn't afford or chose not to were seen as a lower class which is totally unfair.

I've worked in social housing for 10+ years and have seen lots of snobbery towards our tenants but attitudes are starting to shift slowly as buying a house is unobtainable for many, private rents are extortionate and it's more and more common that people are having to try and access social housing when they wouldn't have before.

I'm 31 and me and my DH will be paying a mortgage for the next 25+ years to the bank so technically are renting the house from the bank until the day it's paid off anyway. Our mortgage is lower than a lot of people's rent (even some people in social housing on so called Affordable Rent) so you have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed about where you live. The belief in Britain that home ownership is the only way is not shared in many other countries. Enjoy your security of tenure in your lovely little home which is yours and don't worry what anybody else thinks xxx

AlpineB you've had a kind of epiphany. Wish more people would.

donthugme you've no reason to feel ashamed. Where we live you can have an income up to 60k and be allowed on the housing list, round here house prices are so unaffordable there's little choice for people than to try and get an affordable property which aren't even remotely affordable

You have an old table you love, your furniture doesn't match but this is the attitude that needs to spread everywhere, none of mine matches for the record either. On our estate there are people, I think either aspiring middle class or lower middle who regularly try to appear rich by posting on fb groups that they're changing their decor, the sofa is from sfs and only two years old. I mean what the actual fuck, who does that? Decides to redecorate and changes their sofas and all the furniture

We need more people in the world like you, proud of what you have so don't be ashamed and try and jump on the stuff bandwagon, you'll be loved just as you are by the planet.

This thread has really been on my mind.

I move in a circle of people that are quite comfortable. Very rarely do people discuss buying stuff. Sometimes a big purchase but not small acquisitive stuff, like we are discussing here. Everyone talks about the experiences they have had or are saving for.

It is definitely a shift and it definitely makes people happier.