Women in hit songs by Eagles - AIBU to think they could use some MN advice?

[Defenbaker]

I've been binge watching old videos of hit songs by the Eagles, and was struck by the thought that the women depicted by the lyrics don't seem very happy, and could use some MN advice. For example:

"I've got seven women on my mind.
4 that wanna own me, 2 that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine."

Translation: I'm a cheating womanising commitment-phobe. 2 exes want me dead, I'm juggling 4 but my ego is bruised because 1 has put me in the friend zone.

I reckon those 4 need telling to LTB and get themselves checked at the STD clinic, and the "friend" should run for the hills.

Then there is the woman with the "Lyin' Eyes". She married for money but "every refuge has its price." Maybe she was the one who later ended up "Tiffany twisted" with the "Mercedes Bends", at the Hotel California, where she danced to forget. I reckon she's got a drink/drug problem and needs to join AA.

And don't get me started on the woman in Wasted Time...

Any other Eagles fans here?

[MardyBra]

First post on MN for a long time where I’ve actually LOL’d.

[MardyBra]

Of course it’s not restricted to The Eagles. If I were Billie Jean, I’d be as mad as hell with Michael Jackson.

[Defenbaker]

Too right, Mardybra. Billy J needs to report MJ to the CSA.

[LoudJazzHands]

Billy J needs to report MJ to the CSA.

Good luck getting HIM in court.

[Vitalogy]

Following. I can't do the jokes but what about the witchy woman, daughter of the devil and the pretty mama.

[Parrotlover]

Don’t even get me started on the movie Grease where Sandy the sweet wholesome girl has to turn into a tramp to get a boy to like her. What kind of message did that movie send to millions of young girls? We are seeing the results of that kind of message.

[CircleofWillis]

That Jolene! Has she never heard of sisterhood?

[CircleofWillis]

Although in reality I would be singing it to John-Bob or whatever the husband’s name was.
John-Bob, John-Bob, John-Bob, john-Bo-ob!
Please give me back my keys before you start up with Jolene!

[TheDowagerCuntess]

As soon as I saw the thread title, I knew it'd be Takin' It Easy. 

[Yerroblemom1923]

Love it! I'm a big fan of the Eagles and they're touring again with Sheryl Crow supporting them!

[TulipsInBloom1]

Its not just male artists either. Dolly needs to redirect her song to "her man" rather than Jolene. Jolene aint taking him pet, he is choosing to stray.

[TulipsInBloom1]

Oops didnt see the other Jolene posts.

[Annandale]

And that girl in the flat-bed Ford needs to keep moving according to Wilmslow, Arizona traffic rules rather than slowing down to take a look at every waster musician on a street corner. She's going to get rear-ended (not a euphemism) and MN will havr no sympathy.

[Didactylos]

clearly the sad eyed lady of the lowlands needs some time on the S&B boards since her face and makeup sound as if she needs an update. Possibly she should look into a korean skincare regimen
and her house sounds pretty cluttered too

[Jaxtellerswife]

That song 'young girl' makes me shudder lol
And 'happy birthday sweet sixteen'
Yikes

[Monstamio]

Love the Eagles and I've seen them twice in concert. They were fabulous both times. How can they possibly tour without Glenn Frey though? It's a travesty.

Life in the Fast Lane... She definitely needs to LTB

And the Victim of Love needs to do the Freedom Programme. That last wastral ain't no good for you but whatever you do don't run into the arms of this singer.

[JuneOsbourne]

Jolene is based on real events in Dolly's life. A woman in the bank IIRC

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Love this thread!

Don’t get me started on the drifters! “Love games” and there’s a little girl in every other line!!

[MardyBra]

The bloke in Baby It’s Cold Outside needs to brush up his definition of enthusiastic consent.

[rupertina]

"Mercedes Bends"

Is that when you go deep-sea diving in a German car?

[livefornaps]

What about lynyrd skynyrd "free as a bird"?

Love the song but the guy sounds like an utter douchebag.

[BelfastBloke]

When I saw the Eagles (at Twickenham?) the lead singer referred to his ex-wife, named 'Plaintiff'.

[beyondthesky]

Didn't someone release a song recently to counter the Jolene song - ie from Jolene's perspective as to how she had been misled by the man.

I'll see if I can find the link.

[RoboticMary]

How about Those Shoes? Fantastic song

[MardyBra]

Delilah had it coming to her, the slut.