to think Christmas is not 'really all about the children'

[Quipsandquotes]

A colleague said this earlier, I have seen it on a thread on here today, and a friend said it over the weekend.

AIBU to think Christmas is a time for family and friends, a time to celebrate the nativity story if you are religious, an opportunity for community to come together, a time when it's important to consider those who are lonely or bereaved or ill and might need a bit of extra care or empathy this year.

Yes, it's an exciting time for children and most of us have lovely memories of childhood Christmasses.

But people who go around stating that it's all about the children, or 'really only for kids' annoy me.

AIBU?

I’ve always loved Christmas but there is something extra magical about Christmas with small children (not even your own) so yes I think most families where there are children would make an extra effort to make it work for the kids.

That's not what the thread is about, though, User. It's about people who state categorically that Christmas is all about children, thereby undermining those without children who also enjoy and celebrate Christmas.

Me and DH are unlikely to ever have children so I find the "Christmas is all about children" brigade quite insulting. It's essentially saying me and DH shouldn't bother celebrating or that we cannot appreciate it properly because we don't get to experience the magic of Christmas with children. Similar to the sentiment of children show you the meaning of life / love.

I love Christmas, love almost everything about it. For me it's about family - as much about grandparents as it is about the children. It's about doing good deeds, appreciating what you have, treating yourself and others. It's about so much more than the children.

If people say it is about family instead then what happens if somebody doesn't have any? I do have ds but no parents (deceased) and I never had any siblings.

Nice fuss about nothing largely. Fun until we are eight perhaps and then the fantasy is dispelled about Father Christmas existing and it is all pressure and the expectation of endless joy in abundance that gets up my nose. Bah humbug!

I've got 4 sets of adults who are putting pressure on me right now.

My DF wanting to know when I am doing the 3-hour drive to see him and telling me what he and his GF want for Christmas. My in-laws and DH's 40-something, single siblings are coming for Christmas and staying over despite living down the road because they want to drink and relax and enjoy themselves. They never offer to do it. I've got another relative asking me to stay at theirs after Christmas and I've got another person who has just come out the woodwork who I haven't seen for 2 years asking to meet up in the city the week before Christmas.

Where are these DC who monopolise Christmas? I'd love to meet them. It is the adults in our family who actually use the phrase "Christmas is about children" and insist on spending it with them resulting in DH, DC and I rushing round England like headless chickens and being glad when it is all over. My DC are the easiest to please in all of this.

I'm single, childless and love Christmas. I live with my elderly father and now also have my terminally ill mother in law living with me. Normally I host my brother and sister and their families (who definitely do the whole Christmas is for the children and adults shouldn't have presents line - except they all get presents for prom their partners and children and give them to dad so actually it's only adult me who gets nothing). However, this year as it may be my mother in laws last one we've decided to invite my late husband's family. All of them! So I have about 40 people either staying or visiting (many live in the Caribbean, others in London and Glasgow). My dad and my mother in law are currently elbow deep in Caribbean cookbooks!

My brother and sister, despite being generally lovely people, have taken offence that for one year (possibly) I am putting my husband's family and my dying mother in law above them and their children. The ones who can't even be fucking arsed to buy me a token presemt to thank me for hosting them for Christmas for the last 5 years. Who are never there when I'm feeling lonely or missing my husband who actually use the phrase "I just want to relax with my own little family" when I ask to see them, because I'm feeling down and want to see my family. As it is they have now decided to go abroad together. Both of their families and couldn't even be bothered to invite our father.

So, yeah, Christmas isn't just about children. It is about being kind and spending time with people who you love and who love you. It is cruel to expect elderly people to spend it alone because young people and children can't possibly drive for a few hours to spend a bit of time with them.

It is cruel to expect young, single people to work Christmas shifts and then for them to spend the rest of the day(s) alone because parents of young children with other family around think that it is more important for them to get their two minutes of excited children ripping open presents than it is for slightly older parents to see the child that lives away and can't get home often.

It is supposed to be a season of good Will but sometimes it seems that for some people that goodwill is just around what they can get for themselves and fuck everyone else.

I should apologise for the long rant, but I'm currently overhearing my beloved mother in law try to cheer up my beloved father because he is a bit upset that he's not going to see his other two children, or his grandchildren at any point over Christmas.

It really does sound as though Christmas causes far more upset, stress, worry, resentment, blame and unhappiness than joy and happiness...

Amen to that blueskies

Enjoy Christmas all you like. Actually its all about spending money for many people. It is clear to me that it is a miserable time for many and a right royal pain for many, but hey ho Bah Humbug and all that

Blue skies I think it's people that do that, rather than Christmas TBH. It doesn't have to be stressful.

I’m 35 and pregnant and didn’t ever expect to be. IL’s have lots of DGC and Xmas has always revolves around them, with me and DH following everyone like nomads.

I’m fully expecting the first Xmas we have a child/grandchild to suddenly be of interest.

Now we live in a big house not a piddly flat we stay home at Xmas and my parents come over, and everyone else is welcome but they have to come to us.

Well Christmas is an abstract concept obviously, so Christmas in itself doesn't do anything... People both as individuals and society certainly create such a lot of expectations and significance and hype around Christmas that it carries an absolutely insane weight of importance for a lot of people.

All those expectations and significance heaped on a single day lead to a lot of demands, resentment, bitterness, blame and drama because people think what happens on that one day is more important than the rest of the year. The pressure cooker effect and the feeling of failure people have if they aren't surrounded by family and friends and presents on that day is crazy. I suspect that the overall level of contentment in society would be higher if Christmas as a social cultural festival didn't exist and it remained merely a quiet church based religious festival for believers.

gweipo

You’ll be left with machine loads of bedding to wash and dry just because some selfish relatives can’t be arsed to walk home? Wow - you must be a saint!

'I suspect that the overall level of contentment in society would be higher if Christmas as a social cultural festival didn't exist and it remained merely a quiet church based religious festival for believers.'

Completely agree. I would like to keep the bank holidays, but just call it the Midwinter Bank Holiday or something. Leave the Christmas stuff to Christians who wish to celebrate

YANBU it's for everyone.

I've always loved Christmas. You enjoy it as much as you like.

I have a DS now and he will be 4 this time so it's the first time he's been really clued up so it is lovely to re-visit believing in Santa etc but I am still doing Christmassy things with adults - trip to the Nutcracker and to the markets.

Bring back Yuletide. I love the idea of bofires and such on Christmas tbh.