to think Christmas is not 'really all about the children'

[Quipsandquotes]

A colleague said this earlier, I have seen it on a thread on here today, and a friend said it over the weekend.

AIBU to think Christmas is a time for family and friends, a time to celebrate the nativity story if you are religious, an opportunity for community to come together, a time when it's important to consider those who are lonely or bereaved or ill and might need a bit of extra care or empathy this year.

Yes, it's an exciting time for children and most of us have lovely memories of childhood Christmasses.

But people who go around stating that it's all about the children, or 'really only for kids' annoy me.

AIBU?

I'm with you Redgreen.

This year our Christmas will be for people aged 92,63,62,58,54,28 and 24 are we not entitled to a bit of fun? There will be feasting, drinking games presents and a stocking for everyone, and not a bah humbug in sight.

I'm also with Redgreen and I think that people who say "Christmas is for children" have lost sight of what it's really about.

YANBU OP

Most people have lost sight of what it is about. Unless you are religious & follow the traditions. Otherwise xmas is what people want to make of it, surely?

YANBU.

It's similar to the idea that apparently you're weird or at best a bit immature if you like to celebrate (or at least acknowledge) your birthday, as an adult. There's nothing wrong with wanting to ignore it and treat it like any other day, but neither is it juvenile to want to be appreciated.

YANBU About everyone here. Time to catch up with lots of friends as well as family and cousins. DH & I like to get out together & with friends and enjoy the atmosphere, without children!

Its important for children and hopefully a lovely magical time for them but its not just for the kids. I think a lot of parents with young children put so much effort into making it special for their children that the majority of their enjoyment of christma comes through their children so for them it really is just for the kids. I'm childfree and I love christmas, the cozy twinkly feeling, the tree up, carols, christmas movies, enjoying time with family and friends, a few nice gifts both giving and recieving. I really enjoy it and feel its a special magical time of year if you enter into the spirit of it.

I do buy gifts for friends children and donate to gift drives for children in care and hope that my gifts bring a little joy to those children and young people.

YANBU!!! There was a lot of magic when the DC were young, but still plenty now that they are older, as there was before they were born.

It annoys me too, as I had lovely lovely childhood Xmases, and lovely lovely adults only with no kids involved Xmases, all with my oarents and siblings. In fact, the first child in our family after my siblings and I grew up was dd who was born when I was 41, so I had more adults only Xmases than childhood ones.

DH said it to me a few days ago, and I got a bit cross with him

YANBU

And it's certainly not about the plastic tat are you listening MIL??

There are adults in our family who think it is actually them lying in a manger and that we should shlep around the whole country paying homage and bringing them expensive gifts. I have used the "Christmas is about children" line a few times. Not because I believe it, but because it is the only way I can get out of being a total martyr at Christmas to everyone elses demands. It doesn't go down well but it works.

This thread reminds me of something that happened a few years ago, where I used to work, before I --thankfully- became self-employed.

A former colleague said to me, "it's a shame you're Jewish*, as your children miss out on all the fun of Christmas, and Christmas is really for children and about them having fun."

• Yep she really said that!

Before I had a chance to say anything, another colleague piped up and said to her, that not only was her 'it's a shame you're Jewish' comment wholly offensive, but that Christmas was not just about children. This led to the two of them, debating the 'Christmas is for children' issue for almost an hour, as I just sat there!!

[Not that it matters, but we do mark Christmas in our house - not in a big way - but as it's more a secular holiday these days, it's just nice to 'join in'. Yes it is nice for our children, but DH and I love it too. And it's even better when Hanukkah and Christmas are at the same time, which will be the case next year!]

There's nothing wrong with making xmas special for your kids.
But absolutely every thing wrong if you insist it's not special for others.
Must be 10 or 11 years ago now when we were told that xmas doesn't mean anything if you've not got children to share it with. It hurt. I will always make a point of sharing seasonal joy with everyone in our lives even though we now have very young dc.

I'd be cross if Christmas was just about the children and I have three and another due in January. I need fun too!

I'm not particularly a lover of Christmas, but I do enjoy spending time with DP and the DDs, doing lots of fun cooking and generally hibernating a bit.

I have children, and I detest Christmas more than I can describe, for every possible reason (apart from its origins). I think loving/loathing Christmas has nothing at all to do with having children or not having them.

I have children and it's not "all about the children" in this house. Yes, we do things specifically for their benefit, but they're also involved from a young age in choosing gifts for their DGPs and a couple of friends that we exchange gifts with. They see all the adults around them getting involved with food, celebrating and doing things for those around them.

IME (with real life people) the people who make make blanket statements about Christmas being "all about the kids" are the people who get dead into the elves and boxes for various days but then pack the tree away at the first opportunity on the 27th (or Boxing day, which really surprised me!), and are genuinely upset when their children figure out that Santa isn't real/think that's the end of it so may as well just give them £100 in an envelope from now on.

I think it's pretty important for children to learn that it's not all about them and that they still have to be mindful of other people. That much as they like getting presents, they should also be learning how to give them. And so on.

MinecraftHolmes if I didn't have kids we wouldn't even have a tree to put away on Boxing Day 😂 i actually detest Christmas. Not sure why! DP is the same, once the kids leave home we will be scrooges together haha.

I personally have no issue with other adults having fun tho. For us, Xmas IS for the kids, otherwise we wouldn't bother...but there's no reason others can't do it as they want too!

YANBU. Christmas is for everyone who wishes to recognise or celebrate it. Young, old, single people, infertile people, the widowed, homeless, retired, lonely, hungry, prisoners and everyone else. To me it's about a hope for joy to the world and peace on earth, not just joy to some and if you're not in that category it's not for you.

I find the 'it's all about the children' attitude depressing as it tends to go with 'it's all about buying cheap plastic tat'.

Completely agree. The same people who witter on about "hot choccie snuggled under blankies", christmas eve boxes, elf on the shelf, "making memories", and comment on present threads with gems like "get some bits from poundland hun, the bigger the present pile the better".

YANBU. I have a child, whose Christmases are split between my family and ex-h's family. Ex-h and his family make Christmas all about the child (the only child in the extended family), particularly present opening and playing with child's presents. DC doesn't mind it and likes seeing family but always complains of boredom.

In our family, Christmas is about Jesus and then about everyone together, adults and children, spending time together, playing games, and having a good long meal. Presents (except stockings) come quite late in the day and are not played with the same day as it's too busy. The presents are opened gradually over the 12 days so that there's time to appreciate them all. Everyone, adults and children, enjoys themselves, and the child learns that she is not the sole focus of everyone's universe.

It's a reflection of our childcentric society.

And I currently have a Christmas theme on my phone!

This is often says by parents wanting to get out of working Christmas.

YANBU op.

I don't have (or want) kids and I LOVE Christmas!