To hold out for more money

[inmyshoos]

My exh moved in our old family home although when we split I signed it over to him with the understanding that when our ds who lives with him turns 18 we will look at him giving me what I'm due from the house.
I'm short of money now and tbh would like to be able to draw a line under this.

He has offered me 20k now as a full and final settlement and he waves right to anything of mine (like my pension, he doesn't have one) or i can wait at least another 8 years and if the house prices in area remain steady I should be due around 50k.

AIBU to hold out for more? He can't borrow anymore as only works pt because he has ds so if I want money now that's the offer but I'm due more.

If I gave him 20k it would be done through a solicitor as a full and final settlement along with our divorce.

I think you need an agreement before you hand over any money in case he decides in 8 years time that he wants more.

I don't understand who has what, so have no overall opinion on what is fair.

Having said that, if I had a choice between 50K in 8 years time and less now, I think 30K would be the least I'd think fair. 30K implies about a 7% discount rate, 20K means the person paying me is getting a 12% return on the deal.

Borrow some money from your father to see a solicitor. See where you stand in all this.

firesuit no way I can find 30k so If he wants money now 20k is all I can offer. The other option is he waits and takes the percentage we agreed on which will be I'd imagine somewhere between 45-55k depending on what housing market does.

I wouldn't be giving this Man a single penny.. without Legal Advice.. do not be a fool twice OP...

Surely it is worth seeing a solicitor for your own peace of mind, so you know where you stand? It may be that he is entitled to nothing, in which case you can put the whole thing behind you, and ignore his demands safe in the knowledge that he can't take anything from you. Why wait for him to take the initiative and involve a solicitor?

You won’t see a solicitor because of your principles? Get a grip!

You need proper legal advice from someone with all the facts.

I agree with do nothing. He can’t force you to sell the house or give money you don’t have. Just repeat ‘you had the last of the money’.

Echo what everyone else says. Find the money to see a solution. A couple of hours will do it. Likely a solicitor will tell you the agreement isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, he’s signed the house to you, and basically he’s entitled to sweet fuck all now you are divorced.

Tell him to go fuck himself

Try and find childcare, go back to work full time if you can. Make the best life you can for you and dd

Hope that he contracts something horrible and painful

Imagine for just one second you spend £500 on a solicitor... and that solicitor tells you that he’s entitled to nothing, that you are free of him. And send him a letter to that fact. Surely that would be the best £500 ever spent? And a lot cheaper than £20k

There are no principles worth that love

By demanding it early what do you expect.

I think you're lucky he offered the 20k. You have an arrangement and he could easily turn around and say he'd like to stick to it.

FFSFFSFFS
It was a reverse. RTFT.

IT'S A REVERSE PEOPLE

FFSFFSFFS
RTFT

Okay I've reported my posts.

But this is the problem with reverses isn't it. I responded to the OP's post in good faith!

The OP posted earlier about it being a reverse

Yes this is the problem when people post reverses, which is why everyone hates them

FFSFFS
She hasn’t. It’s a reverse. The kids live with op in her house that the ex wants funds from.

Why should I go spend money on legal advice when currently his demands are just from him

To avoid getting caught up in the drama of his demands or start negotiating with him. He’s being an arse. You need proper legal advice. Perhaps you owe him nothing.

My plan was to sit tight and wait to see if he gets a solicitor involved

This will put you on the back foot if he does and even if he doesn’t, he’s going to continue to hound you. He sounds nasty and is only going to up the anti.

You need this to protect your children from him as well as yourself. Not just financially but emotionally. Your dd is already shit scared of him. You need to know your rights, get some legal protection and put enough distance between the two of you as possible.

Op you are being silly not to go and see a solicitor, maybe it would cost a couple of hundred pounds to get proper legal advice and then you could decide accordingly..

Get your dad to loan you the money for the solicitor now, to see whether this offer would be a good way of ending this and exactly what your position is regarding the written agreement. Take the solicitor's advice. It'll be money well spent to put your mind at rest.

I would offer the 20K, hopefully he accepts and then you can move on.

Aintnothingbutaheartache

On an emotional level, why are you not with your boy?*

Just wanted to check you're aware that actually dads can look after children? I'm bloody certain you wouldn't have said that to a man.

Get a grip. Men can't breastfeed but they can do everything else, and in some situations (not relevant here, but generally relevant to not being a judgemental turnip) the fathers are the 'better' parent. Never question a mother not having custody if you wouldn't do the same for a father.

(Just to be clear, no I am not an affronted father- very much female myself)