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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you’re told a phrase is offensive, you don’t insist on using it?

803 replies

changehere · 02/11/2018 21:02

Yes, a TAAT. The context is that we explained to mumsnet HQ that the phrase ‘beyond the Pale’ is found eyebrow-raising by many (but not all) Irish people.

The Pale was the name given to an area of Ireland under English rule and those outside that area were considered uncivilised aka ‘beyond the pale’. This is a phrase that is only used with raised eyebrows in Ireland and certainly feels inappropriate, if not offensive, coming from an English person.

Mumsnet use it as part of their racism guidelines as in that they only ban language that is ‘beyond the pale’. Mumsnet accept the origins of the phrase. However, they insist on using this phrase to describe whether something is or is not racist.

Given the context, AIBU in requesting that Mumsnet find another phrase in their racism guidelines?

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 03/11/2018 10:40

How offensive would it be coming from an Irish person who was (whose ancestors were?) inside the pale? There are not two sides in this.

Phuquocdreams · 03/11/2018 10:40

Another Irish person who has never considered beyond the pale.
“Throwing a paddy”, however, is a phrase I have never even heard of outside mumsnet. Saying it in ignorance, ok, but once it’s pointed out to them, I don’t know how anyone could argue it’s not offensive to Irish people.

WinterSpiceOnIce · 03/11/2018 10:40

So it's only offensive if English people say it?? posie??

Er, no.

WinterSpiceOnIce · 03/11/2018 10:42

Random person at MNHQ saying 'it's beyond the pale' could be from Ghana/France/Americas

Yet it's only offensive if someone from little old England who is English says it??

Giantbanger · 03/11/2018 10:44

this ismfrom thr grammarphobia blog. I’m not sure the link works but it clearly states that beyond the pale refers to the Irish usage.

I knew what it meant and find it offensive. We were taught it at school.

Beyond the pale
Q: I’ve seen many examples of “beyond the pail” on the Internet. In fact, I googled the phrase and got many thousands of hits. I’d always thought the phrase was “beyond the pale,” a reference to the Russian Jewish ghetto.

A: You’re right that the correct phrase is “beyond the pale.” You’re also right that “beyond the pail” shows up a lot on the Internet.

However, many of the Google hits are from punsters or people pointing out the error.

The language writer Michael Quinion has a great quip about this on his website World Wide Words. When asked about the meaning of “beyond the pail,” he joked, “Isn’t that where you go when you kick the bucket?”

As for “beyond the pale,” it refers to something that’s improper or exceeds the limits of acceptability.

The other phrase you refer to, about the isolation of Jewish communities in Eastern Europe, is the “Pale of Settlement.”

But the two expressions have little to do with one another, beyond their common use of the noun “pale” in the sense of a boundary or a limit.

“Beyond the pale” isn’t a reference to the other phrase, since it’s 170 years older. It was first recorded in 1720, while the first reference to the Pale of Settlement was recorded in 1890, according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

We briefly discussed these expressions on our blog five years ago, but they’re worth another look.

When the noun “pale” was first recorded in the 1300s, it referred to a wooden stake meant to be driven into the ground.

At that time, “pale” was a doublet—that is, an etymological twin—of the much earlier word “pole,” according to the Chambers Dictionary of Etymology.

Both “pale” and “pole” once had the same meaning and came from the same source, the Latin word palus.

As the OED explains, in classical Latin a palus was a stake or a “wooden post used by Roman soldiers to represent an opponent during fighting practice.”

In post-classical Latin, palus also meant a palisade (originally a fence or enclosure made with wooden stakes), or a stripe (as in heraldry).

The noun “pale” was first recorded in writing in the mid-14th century. Its original meaning, the OED says, was a stake or “a pointed piece of wood intended to be driven into the ground, esp. as used with others to form a fence.”

In the late 14th century, “pale” was also used to mean the fence itself.

In the following century, “pale” acquired a couple of new meanings.

It could be “an area enclosed by a fence,” or “any enclosed place,” to quote the OED. It could also mean “a district or territory within determined bounds, or subject to a particular jurisdiction.”

Here’s where our two expressions come in. “Beyond the pale” came first, as we said, dating from the early 18th century.

Originally the phrase was followed by “of” and it meant “outside or beyond the bounds of” something. For example, here are the OED’s three earliest citations:

“Acteon … suffer’d his Eye to rove at Pleasure, and beyond the Pale of Expedience.” (From Alexander Smith’s A Compleat History of Rogues, 1720.)

“Nature is thus wise in our construction, that, when we would be blessed beyond the pale of reason, we are blessed imperfectly.” (From Henry Mackenzie’s The Man of the World, 1773.)

“Without one overt act of hostility … he contrived to impress me momently with the conviction that I was put beyond the pale of his favour.” (From Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre, 1847).

But late in the 19th century the prepositional phrase fell away, according to Oxford, and “beyond the pale” was used by itself to mean “outside the limits of acceptable behaviour; unacceptable or improper.”

That’s how it’s been used ever since, as in these two OED citations:

“Unknown, doubtful Americans, neither rich nor highly-placed are beyond the pale.” (From the 1885 novel At Bay, written by “Mrs. Alexander,” the pen name of Annie Hector.)

“If you pinched a penny of his pay you passed beyond the pale, you became an unmentionable.” (From a 1928 issue of Public Opinion.)

Now for our other “pale” expression. As we mentioned above, the use of “pale” to describe a region or territory subject to a certain control or jurisdiction dates from the mid-1400s.

When first used, the reference was to English jurisdiction, and over the centuries “the pale” (sometimes capitalized) has been used to refer to areas of Ireland, Scotland, and France (that is, the territory of Calais) when they were under England’s control.

But this sense of “pale” is perhaps most familiar in the phrase “Pale of Settlement,” which the OED says is modeled after the Russian certa osedlosti (literally, “boundary of settlement”).

Oxford defines the phrase as “a set of specified provinces and districts within which Jews in Russia and Russian-occupied Poland were required to reside between 1791 and 1917.”

The OED’s earliest citation for the use of the phrase in writing comes from Russia and the Jews: A Brief Sketch of Russian History and the Condition of Its Jewish Subjects (1890), written by an author identified as “A. Reader”:

“The Jews … as soon as the contract was completed … had to return within the ‘pale’ of settlement.”

This more contemporary example is from the Slavic and East European Journal (1999): “Deeply depressed by Jewish life in the Pale of Settlement, Gershenzon struggled to escape the ‘darkness’ and reach the light.”

As for the relationship between the two expressions, the OED has this to say:

“The theory that the origin of the phrase [‘beyond the pale’] relates to any of several specific regions, such as the area of Ireland formerly called the Pale … or the Pale of Settlement in Russia … is not supported by the early historical evidence and is likely to be a later rationalization.”

By the way, the adjective “pale,” dating from the early 1300s, has nothing to do with the noun. It comes from another source altogether, the classical Latin pallidum (pale or colorless), from which we also get the word “pallid.”

HeronLanyon · 03/11/2018 10:45

Oh ‘paddy’. Never use this but just cos never used where/when I was brought up. When I hear it I never think of paddy/paddy whack etc. For some reason I think of paddle - bits like ‘throwing toys out of pram’ ie throwing paddle out of canoe. How stupid is that !? Please don’t all rush to answer that Blush

Giantbanger · 03/11/2018 10:46

I don’t care where the person in from is that says it.

The phrase means those outside the boundaries of acceptability and originally comes from the Irish who lived outside what was thought to be the civilised part of Ireland and were considered savages.

So every time MN refers to talk guidelines, and every time anyone uses that phrase as far as I am concerned they are saying I am not welcome here.

Nuffaluff · 03/11/2018 10:47

Wow, thanks, I had no idea. I do use that phrase but will try not to.

ny20005 · 03/11/2018 10:47

I don't find the phrase offensive but it is inappropriate to be used in talk guidelines. It's been pointed out to MNHQ who have just dismissed it out of hand & left it there - that's what I'm offended by

Giantbanger · 03/11/2018 10:48

Throwing a paddy is grossly offensive and yet I’ve seen it not deleted on here.

Paddywhack is the same. It’s the ligament up the back of the neck in an animal and comes from the notion that paddies had thick skulls and had to be hit hard to knock them out.

IStandWithPosie · 03/11/2018 10:48

Do you know where each and every poster cones from or MNHQ? How do you know it is only English people saying it?

I was (obviously- as I quoted) responding to a specific post that referenced English people.

So it's only offensive if English people say it?? posie??

No, I think it’s offensive full stop. I think it is particularly offensive (I did already use these words) coming from and english person to an irish person due to the historical context.

HeronLanyon · 03/11/2018 10:48

Above just to do with the ‘throwing a oaddy’ use of the word ‘paddy’ not the word itself which I am aware is pajorative.

WinterSpiceOnIce · 03/11/2018 10:49

Well giant the op does! As she's moaning about singling out Irish people, but singling out English people (only) to moan about. Bit ironic

MsJuniper · 03/11/2018 10:53

I didn't know the origin of the phrase or its historical context. I am now wondering if I've ever used it in the company of my Irish DH and his family over the last 20 years - possibly in a jokey way. I'd hope they'd have mentioned it and let me know it was problematic.

I will avoid using it in future and hope MNHQ do the same. I can easily see why it is particularly inappropriate coming from an English person.

Giantbanger · 03/11/2018 10:53

Well I’m not.

I do think, however, that it is particularly offensive and crass when used by an English person who is ethnically English and Caucasian (or an English website) due to the historical context and history of the English in Ireland and especially when they seek to encourage those from Ireland to post here with Craicnet, but yet when it’s pointed out that phrase is problematic, refuse to use any other phrase. It could be easily changed. The question for me is why MN refuse to do so and I believe that, coupled with their differential moderating of protected characteristics, is biased and against equality legislation.

VenusInSpurs · 03/11/2018 10:55

I had no idea of the meaning behind this phrase, I can completely understand why it is distasteful to those who do, and I will stop using it.

Wazznme · 03/11/2018 11:11

Yes it is offensive (Irish here).
The Pale was Dublin and the surrounding areas. The land there is particularly fertile. Also it was close to Dublin, so port etc. That is where the majority of English chose to 'settle' occupy. They picked the best land in the country and enshrined that as their preferred location. Anything beyond the Pale was considered inferior, as only the Irish lived there. So, it's basically saying that if you're Irish, not English, you're inferior.

So yes, it is offensive.

And I get the pp who said their husband is proud to be from 'beyond the Pale'. Because by reverse, it meant that you were proper Irish. But he's silly to not realise the negative and racist connotations of it.

So OP YADNBU

Wazznme · 03/11/2018 11:22

Just hearing reference to The Pale in Ireland irritates a lot of Irish people as it refers to an historically occupied part of our country. Occupied by British people.

Anyone ever hear the phrase 'to hell or to Connaught'? Again deeply offensive, originally used by some English dude when he was punishing them (can't remember the exact details).

It's amazing that Irish history (your closest neighbour and an occupied territory) is not taught in the English schools' curriculum.

We studied bloody Henry VIII and The British Empire.

Why would you write such an important part of your past out of history here? Either you don't consider it important enough, you don't particularly view it as a success story (failures are still historical facts) or maybe you're ashamed of it. The ignorance of it tells me that it's not actually the latter.

HeronLanyon · 03/11/2018 11:26

Re not being taught about all of this. It is shocking however I would have been taught this in the 70s/80s and I would pity the curriculum designers/deliverers to get it even halfway right/balanced etc during those times. Indeed who would have designed the curriculum/syllabus. here in English schools? Can imagine it would have been counterproductive/revisionist etc which is a sad thing to think abut education.

Wazznme · 03/11/2018 11:27

Are any of you familiar with the song the Irish sing particularly loudly when playing against the English in sport? It's called the Fields of Athenry. (Athenry is in Co. Galway, the West of Ireland, a beautiful scenic part of the country).
There is reference in the song to Trevellian. An English Lord - he existed and was particularly cruel.
That is basically a rebel song, but not demonstrably so.

Think about why we sing it?

HeronLanyon · 03/11/2018 11:34

I found wiki entries on the Irish plantation really excellent and informative. Followed loads of links etc. Remember I looked up after literally (yes literally literally) hours of drinking in things I just had almost no idea about despite because ofa lifetime of English education news media etc

Wazznme · 03/11/2018 11:37

Here's a particularly good example of it!

BishBoshBashBop · 03/11/2018 11:40

Think about why we sing it?

There are lots of songs about all sorts of things between all sorts of countries you could say the same thing about.

There is undercurrents of all sorts on MNHQ. If I was to report all posts on here that contained anti Semitic trope or even blatant anti semitism, at times it would take hours.

Wazznme · 03/11/2018 11:40

Thank you @HeronLanyon for taking the time to educate yourself. That means a lot to me as an Irish person. Grin

BeyondVicious · 03/11/2018 11:41

I’d like to suggest that mnhq change it to “beyond the limits of acceptability” Grin