AIBU?
To have just sent a kid home?
selfidentifyinggiraffe · 02/11/2018 19:07
I feel a bit embarrassed and not sure if I need to apologise to the parents or if actually it was entirely reasonable
Child misbehaved several times and refused to apologise... I just marched them home to a very stunned parent
Sent my own straight to bed too
I'm not usually the most stern person which I think is why the parent looked so shocked, they were polite and made child apologise
I would have had child till about 8 latest otherwise
They're both 6
Do I need to explain further and apologise or should I just be glad the evening is over?
Fredthefrog · 02/11/2018 19:10
My own child is a but small but I think if you were clear about rules and consequences and the child continued to misbehave then you did the right thing. What did they do ?. If you Do have them over again they will take you seriously. You shouldn't apologise to the other parent but Could explain what happened in more detail if needed.
KeepServingTheDrinks · 02/11/2018 19:12
I think there's too many variables here to be able to comment.
LIZS · 02/11/2018 19:12
It is already pretty late for 6 yo. Put it down to being overtired at the end of the week.
NorthernRunner · 02/11/2018 19:12
It would depend on what the bad behaviour was...children get very silly and excitable and may behave in a way that they wouldn’t normally do. I try to bare this in mind when my dd has friends round, but it’s not always easy.
selfidentifyinggiraffe · 02/11/2018 19:45
I won't post details of what happened exactly as I feel she'd feel awful if I posted details on public forum but it was several things throughout the night and then they did one thing I felt was dangerous tbh
Told them they'd go home if they didn't apologise and understand I won't accept the behaviour... they refused to apologise and only did when stunned parent made them on the doorstep
I have spoken to mum and she agreed and was fine about it
Just wondering if I was too severe for a 6 year old child as I felt really embarrassed tbh
Coldhandscoldheart · 02/11/2018 19:52
Well even if it was too severe, it’s done now, you certainly can’t go & get the kid back again!
If you see the parent again, you can mutter something about everyone being very tired, and perhaps try a different day or in the holidays next time.
AveAtqueVale · 02/11/2018 19:54
My eldest is only four and I’d be fine with that tbh. If he was already pushing it, did something dangerous and then was rude (not apologising) into the bargain I’d think it was fair enough.
selfidentifyinggiraffe · 02/11/2018 20:00
No she's a friend, spoken to her and she's fine about it
But wondering if because I feel so embarrassed it means I've been too harsh on 6 year olds or if this is perfectly acceptable behaviour in response to naughty behaviour and refusing to apologise
southeastastra · 02/11/2018 20:02
sounds a bit OTT unless they bit the head off your hamster
expect the parent to play tit for tat now
TheDayMyButtWentPsycho · 02/11/2018 20:05
8 is really late for a 6 year old!
My DS is 7.5 and fast asleep. His behaviour goes to pot when he's tired.
Could that have been the case here?
lovetherisingsun · 02/11/2018 20:05
expect the parent to play tit for tat now
You must know some very immature people for them to do "tit for tat".
OP, I'd be mortified if my kid had been marched home BUT if he' been naughty, would've also completely understood.
Chamomileteaplease · 02/11/2018 20:06
How can we say if you were too harsh, if you won't tell us what happened? 
picklemepumpkin · 02/11/2018 20:09
I think it is really sensible.
Unless there are special needs, a six year old should be able to apologise when they have misbehaved.
SheRaTheAllPowerful · 02/11/2018 20:12
Honestly it’s such a british thing that child might explode if they aren’t in bed by 7pm. I think it’s bordering on obsessive how some people are with bed times.
OP you set out what was expected, gave warnings and now they have the consequences, I’m with you.
RandomMess · 02/11/2018 20:13
You followed through on a consequence which I think is important.
Sometimes on reflection I would regret having issued the consequence but the DC knew where they stood 
Miscible · 02/11/2018 20:15
Seems fair enough - you gave them due warning and it would have been easy enough for them to apologise. If you hadn’t followed through their bad behaviour would have escalated.
Bowerbird5 · 02/11/2018 20:19
Nope.
I think they will behave and be more respectful if you invite them again.
I work with this age.
FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 02/11/2018 20:19
It sounds like silly/naughty behaviour rather than out of control behaviour. So I would say not necessarily unreasonable but perhaps a bit harsh. A Friday evening after school, kids may well have been tired I would have tried to direct them to a calm activity or put a film on.
southeastastra · 02/11/2018 20:20
aw they are six cut them some slack don't be that parent
FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 02/11/2018 20:21
Also I definitely wouldn't play tit for tat but there are parents who are renowned in my youngest's class for pointing out the bad behaviour of other kids (thankfully not mine!) while round on playdates apparently oblivious to the fact their own plays up outside his home too. (Other parents just tend to say the kids "were a bit lively" without elaborating).
SundayGirls · 02/11/2018 20:21
I think it was right to cut the playdate short if you had lost control of the situation and the kids.
However I would have been firm but still reasonably pleasant and said something like "It's time to go home, X, as I think you and (own DC) have got a bit silly now." I wouldn't have "marched" them home as such (I know that's an expression but I take it you mean you were cross and had the cross attitude all the way home). I would just have phrased it as the end of the playdate, as 6 is old enough to know better BUT on the other hand, 6 is still quite young to really know when to stop.
Before it got to that stage I'd have tried to change the dynamics/focus, maybe inventing a new game, or separating them out for a while or putting a DVD on or whatever. Kids can get silly and then stuck on a loop of silliness when they are left to their own devices for too long.
AnotherShirtRuined · 02/11/2018 20:22
If my child had been repeatedly misbehaving and refusing to apologise for dangerous behaviour, I would be grateful to you for marching them home. It would be a great learning experience for them and a very good opening for a (repeat) discussion of good versus bad behaviour and consequences. I'd be very embarrased, though, for having such a misbehaving child...
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